All Comments on 'My Daddy, the Spy'

Loved it. I'm 26, dad Rick is 47, and I'm sure he's been taping me too.I've seen pics of me taken the past 10 years or so secretly. Dad's definitely a leg and ass man...good thing I'm 5'10...lol... He's been taking my dirty panties too. I tease the shit out of him, and would definitely give it up to him inasec. Screw bitch mum...I want Rick bad. Too bad this story wasn't real. I'm stacy18_bi@hotmail if you want to hit me up.

I loved this story. I'm a dad, and I have fantasized about my daughter. She, and I are openly bisexual and she wishes she could have her mother.

Great first story. Keep up the good work.

I appreciate all the feedback and comments regarding this story. It is entirely fictional, but I'm pleased you all have found it to your liking. If you have any questions, please comment or send me feedback, I'll answer as I am able.

I'm completely shocked that you like my story, let alone actually read it. And commented. And voted!

Thank you guys, so much. Maybe I'll start writing another...

Keep up the writing You are Great at it. This was one hot fucking story for a first for You. I hope You have more to come.

Some constructive criticism:

In the middle of the story, you switched from past tense (a preferable narrative POV) to present tense and back to past. Not sure if this was a stylistic choice or an editing error, but it was jarringly awkward.

Other than that - a very good first effort. Keep writing, but seek the assistance of an editor.

A bit over the top but realistic premise. Quite a few Dads have spied on daughter using hidden cam. Usually they just jo.

Your story, too bad that mom had to get hurt.

...that I wish it was longer, with more sex after mom left. ;-) In other words, it was pretty hot! It's always a good sign when a reader wants more.

Using the phrase, "speaking loudly" instead of yelling, sounds like it came from personal experience, which adds an air of authenticity to the story.

The part about dad and Jenny knowing about their fantasies about each other should have been explored/explained further. How did that come about?

Other than the previously mentioned problem with tenses, the errors were relatively few for a first time story. [You switched to present tense at the paragraph beginning "As I lay there...", and returned to past tense the fourth paragraph after that, which begins "Daddy paused once he bottomed out in me."]

There were a couple of missing punctuation marks ("dads" instead of "dad's", for example), and you used "face" instead of "fast" when he was eating her ("...as face as he can...").

A few places where one paragraph might have been more properly broken up into two or more.

Still, as Lit stories go, it was an easy read, and that is not always the case.

Nice first effort. I'd be interested in reading more of your stories, if you chose to continue contributing.

@Rapier thanks so much for the feedback, for any future story I will definitely be utilizing an editor.

@Dark I'm not going to make any excuses, but it took me less than 6 hours to write this and I ended up doing some quick editing while proof reading. Guess I missed some. I figured if I didn't upload it soon, I was going to chicken out and, well, we wouldn't be having this discussion. As for the part where it reads "loudly yelling," I have a very large family and they would always say "we're not yelling..." you get the idea. Besides, I've always believed that in order for something to be as realistic as possible, especially in art, you have to put parts of yourself in the story. No, I'm not saying I've ever experienced this, nor will I ever. Not that I wouldn't if I could, it would be rather morbid since he's deceased. I draw the line at necrophillia.

Anyways, I am tossing around ideas for future stories, and as stated before, I will be looking into using an editor to improve the cohesiveness and the flow. I honestly hadn't realized until now that the tense's used were not in conjunction with one another.

Can't wait to read your next story.

Thank you for sharing some of your favorites on your profile.

Not a bad story. I'm looking forward to seeing what else you write, especially in the taboo story topics.

Solid use of the daddy trigger word. I was kind of hoping he would come to terms with his power of will, and likewise call out for his little girl by her own pet name. But I can see how it helped convey his reluctance. Anyway, nicely organized sequence of words though... I liked it.

It was a truly splendid story, apart from a couple of writing issues, but then the bottom dropped out! Please continue writing and sharing but I would love it if the baby issue was avoided. I know it is fantasy, but in what sexual fantasy should a baby be included? The answer is no sexual fantasy! Children created through this type of relationship have severe mental and physical abnormalities more often than they do not. Look back through history to see just what is spawned in such situations.

I found the story truly erotic and arousing, but that is snuffed out as soon as pregnancy or offspring enter into the picture . I am related to someone who is the product of such a relationship and it has been nothing but physical and emotional trials for the individual. Would you consider leaving that part out of your next story? It seemed simply added for no true purpose, so it would not have taken away from this story to leave it out. I am not voting a five for this because that subject poured cold water onto my arousal. It deserves no less than a four for the rest of the story.

I agree with the other individual about "daddy" giving in and using their relationship as further stimulation. I can assure you this is one of the best first submissions I have read in quite a long time!

Dam good story. One thing i would say, is to make it end on a high. And always leave room for more. :p

Well that was fun! Pretty good, thanks!

Call you by your name? Uh nooo. What planet is he fucking from?! 'Uuuh, 'cause you're my daddy and I'm gonna FucK my Daddy! If you're not going to act like my daddy and fuck me like my daddy then you might as well turn around and leave!'

As thick as your FIST?!? ...not your forearm, but your fist!? Fill you and stretch you, how about rip you and tear you (a new one!;) ?? ....and call me weird, but any young woman (hell, old too) who can happily take her fist up her hoohoo just flat creeps me out! (Not that Id want to fuck her though, lol. Whats the point?;)

...and he just slid right in?? ...AND you still had enough room to squeeze down on him? Lol. Damn girl, you should rent out parking space in the Holland Tunnel down there, rofl!! ;)

...and I loved mom breaking in on them and asking them and telling them they better explain what the hell is going on here!

.....ummmm, we're fucking? (Looks at cum leaking out of her pussy) yep! Definitely fucking, mom! Want in on this? ;)

Um, there was this tornado that touched down up the street and was coming right at us mom!! And I didnt want to die a virgin (snicker;) and begged daddy to fuck me senseless so I could go out smiling!!

...there was this robber mom!! He held us at gunpoint and made us strip then told daddy that he had to fuck me long and hard so he could hear us having crazy good sex from anywhere in the house and if we didnt he would kill us! You must have scared him off when you pulled up and he didnt have time to steal anything before leaving out the back!!

...I had this baaaaad itch mom and I couldn't reach it with my vibrator soo... ;)

I have multiple personality disorder mom and one of them thinks she's you!

Very good! Im a daddy and love stories written by women that obviously hold this taboo subject near and dear. Thinking about someones daughter getting wet thinking about them is amazingly arousing. I get the prego fantasy. Its a fantasy so it always ends just fine. No birth defects or complications in the safety of one's own mind. I can only fantasize so thanks! Write more! XO.

Love D/D stories where they love each other

Sorry if this is a true story only in that your mom left

Sent you an e-mail also

Hoping for a sequel or a totally new fantasy of yours

A New Admirer

Love this story

His wife fucked the fleet and then tld him the day she died. Now he lives with nothing but hate!!

I'll be honest, I really closed my mind off to this. What I had written. Not because of being ashamed, more that life happened, as it always does. I appreciate the feedback. Some of it beneficial, some weird and some just blatantly rude. Maybe once things settle down a bit, I'll get back to it.

To the gentleman who is a closeted homosexual, I'm sorry you feel the need to hide who you truly are by being condescending to those who have the courage to step out and be true to themselves. I wish you the strength needed to be who you are, and the people to support you on your journey.

As with first times of most everything on the planet, the fear and trepidation of the actual event far exceed the actual experience, but I’m most happy to hope you enjoyed your first publication 1/3 of the amount I enjoyed reading it. Certainly there were slight grammar stumbling but so slight they were unnoticeable by Myself, the Grammar Nazi. That in itself earns an A+ for both quality and content.

Thus having passed the writing critique, step forward to the next effort of the second Story. This to Me is a choice, One can continue with the first theme and move forward upon confronting the obvious damage initiated with the Mother. Love does not install fear and anguish upon the participants despite life often causing pain and suffering so to Me the next phase is bringing the Mom back into the family.

The only opening here is to ease the suffering felt by the Mother in the betrayal of the commitment between the Father and her so the rift can diminish in the family. Daughter needs to go to Mom, work into the scene an apology, no regret for the action but total sorrow at the mom’s pain. Begin some character development, introducing names for each of the participants. The mom can easily be returned by the Father’s physical characteristics and the Mother’s love for both so repairing the damage should be quite enjoyable, consider the fact that 8 inches leaves plenty left over so two can share easily.

A+, A+

belongs to her daddy

WHY FICTIONAL, MAKE IT A TRUE REALITY, YHAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT SO GO FOR IT UNLESS YOU ARE AFRAID TO GET CAUGHT?

Perverted bastard father should be thrown in jail

Not really written that well, but keep trying!

Was good could have made two pages and made chapter three bigger and maybe gave us epilogue like how many babies were there was the babies all boys or girls did they mom get to see any of her grandchildren

Loved it keep writing