All Comments on 'My Daughter's Surprise'

As a story representative of its genre this is nigh perfect & gets full marks . Still this tale needed a twist to be rated in Hall of Fame. There was a " quest " that the narrator never undertook : After the sterling introduction & setup, things culminated all too easily for the two main characters.

This pair needed a challenge, an obstacle along the path of their love. Maybe a threat or challenge along business or even cyber-crime lines ( Chinese hackers anyone ? ). I know i'm nitpicking bigtime. The author accomplished what he and probably most of his audience wanted him to do.

But Slam Duncan has the talent to do more then that and move into the very top rated echelon of authors, should he push himsel a bit more.

Beautifully written, nice build-up, HOT finish. I love the dog--Cooter--his name says it all. Slam, I've read and enjoyed all your stories. You're numero uno on my hit list. Thanks!

"Gloria" ;)

Kudos again, Slam. Sweet story, and I love the dog! I love all your stories--you put the literate in Literotica.

Hugs

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Not too bad, dude. One glaring mistake was on page 2 where the daughter was Jennifer instead of Kimberly. Otherwise, a decent story. There's a couple other ones floating around with this theme. I like those types of stories.... finding a long lost daughter.

By the way, I hope other readers don't mind me posting anonymously. I guess it's okay because I didn't criticize the story.

To anonymous-- that must have been a Freudian slip. The daughter in the story IS Kimberly-- Jennifer is the love of my life. Sorry, Jen.

Okay, so you made a slipup. I should give you a four and three quarters instead of a five. This is the way I'd love to be able to write. You made the characters seem real, not made of cardboard. Keep up the good work and see just how good you can become. Looking forward to your next story.

It's always a pleasure to read your stories. Well written and realistic. Thank you.

Excellent- now I need a cold shower!

nice!

I wish this was longer just so I could read more of it! It's not perfect, but it's one of the most erotic things I've ever read... Thank you, Duncan <3

more of a fan of this type of story but yours was well thought out, well written and very hot. I enjoyed the softer (as in wording) approach you used while it was pretty descriptive and sexual. Thanks, I liked that. Scotty

Very gentle and romantic; nice build up. Good read.

Excellent story, very enjoyable,....only thing I would change.... I'd give her the same name throughout the story... Several places Kimberly is refered to as Jennifer.

Okay, loved the story. BUT...

Your protagonist claims to love Irish Whiskey. Sure, he starts out with some top shelf Jamie. But then he commits a MORTAL SIN!

He starts drinking Bushmills? That’s not IRISH WHISKY! That Protestant shit is scotch made in Northern Ireland - smoked in peat just like the swill those Scottish sheep fuckers make.

ZERO STARS!

(J/K - wonderful story, but do your mixology research.

Rea it twice loved every bit of it. SUPER GOOD JOB Super good story plot.