All Comments on 'My Ex Wife Wants a Pound of Flesh'

This wasn't a revenge tale. It was a consequences tale that was wholly deserved. Worthless cunt. I like that. I'm going to use it. Whore left her hard working husband for easy money and changed the kids thinking. It bit her in the ass in the end. She had money but she was still a worthless cunt. Heh

By the way as a kidney-pancreas transplant recipient I know how it feels to be eternally grateful to a family whose twenty-one years old child was an organ donor and saved my life. The family was happy that a part of their child still lives in me.

Be an organ donor. You can save five lives and help up to fifty others with that unselfish donation.

betrayedbylove.......A thankful thirteen years recipient still kicking

I liked how he played Jimmy. You were way too nice to Andria. what did she do to deserve pleasantries from anyone? And the older children? They dropped him for money pure and simple. If they were truly good people as they had grown they would have seen their error and tried to fix it but they were as shallow as their mother. I like the way the children were treated in the other version of this. Maybe I'm a bastard but making people (yes children too because if they don't know better then they sorely need a lesson) accept real consequences for their actions is an important part of a working society. Maybe if the other people and the courts would agree stupid cunts like Andria wouldn't be so eager for trading up.

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

Andria got what misery she deserved. What I don't understand is why 1st ex-husband was so distraught over Andria dumping him but at the same time said she was just mediocre. And he kept calling her skinny. I'm guessing she probably was this size before their marriage and had no problem with it or her being mediocre until she dumped him. He sure had some conflicting thoughts.

She has a year-long affair, walks out on him, and he can't win a custody/visitation battle?

I don't care how much money Jimbo has, there is no way the father isn't going to be granted GENEROUS visitation.

but no significant interaction between the main protagonists means the story falls flat. IMHO. Its just a linear series of events - no conflict, no drama.

This is remake of Huedogg2's Second Chances. Even the names (Wallace, daughters Macy and Karen, sons Mike and Jason) are same along with secret daughter needing kidney. This is an interesting take on that.

But who is Miriam?

Where is the plot? This is a series of events in a guys life.

Why wouldn't Jeff go to court for joint custody? The courts would have at least given him time with the kids.

There should have been more drama between the Ex's or at least between the husband and the "other guy"

Just plain boring really.

... if you do not understand them!!

Example -

You wrote "... she can at least commensurate with you more than I can..."

Commensurate - definition: - "corresponding in size or degree; in proportion".

POSSIBLY you meant commiserate??

Commiserate - definition: - "express or feel sympathy or pity; sympathize".

But you missed on adressing your older kids abandoning u for 7 years. No visitation ? Seems unlikely, judges arent stupid.

for a story worthy of the golden years of Loving Wives. The days of good erotic stories about cheating wives were the best. Nowadays the majority of submissions by far are cuckold stories, but every now and then a good story gets in. All the best to you..

Done well. The problem is, of course, why he did not demand visitation rights in the divorce. I know, I know they would probably be away traveling or doing something more important then visiting with Dad, but at least he would be on record as wanting to be their Dad.

Enjoyed it and hope that you have few more on tap.

15th President. Duh.

Wonderful and fun read, thank you for writing. I didn't notice any grammatical problems at all, but wasn't really looking for any. It's just that nothing jumped out to me.

5*

Best regards,

-Pultoy

Hubby was shafted in the Divorce as far as not seeing his kids, so he got even at the end. Yes, it did resemble Huedogg2's "Second Chances", but ended much more peacefully.

5 Solid Stars. Great job, Chilley.

Kidney theme has been done a couple of times, but CW came back with a good story. Everybody ended up with what they deserved. Well done.

1. as to the first wife not being his ideal physical type, there is more to love and attraction than physical beauty. He loved her, and her appearence while not ideal, was not a deal breaker.

2. Use of big words. I like most of the readers know what they mean, but I am weak on spelling, I claim victomhood by spellcheck.

3. Custody. In deep depression, work going poorly, family destroyed, feelings of inadequacy, out classed, he gave up without a fight! It happens.

4. Curtesy to the kids and ex spouse. Lots of blame to go around. Wife screwed him, kids torn by the adults, uncertain what they should do, he couldn't find the strength to fight; Anyone see any perfect people in the story? He did one of the hardest things in life, he forgave those who trespassed against him. He cast evil out of his heart, and was at peace with himself. What good would vituperativeness have done for him?

5. Yup, screwed up the chronology. Sorry. Glad you read it.

Chilled

The courts are far better at awarding visitation than they are at enforcing it.

There is little to no penalty to ignoring court ordered visitation days and times.

I hope Huedogg liked the story. Huedogg is a good trash and burn the cheating woman author.

Oh, I guess that sorry-assed O'Malley got that passed in Maryland too! For that line, you get a Three, instead of the Four you would have otherwise received.

and finally comes around with a vengeance, TK U MLJ LV NV

Your stories are very enjoyable. Thanks for sharing

This site IS called 'LitEROTICA', after all. This wasn't an awful story, but it was awfully short on the erotica.

He would have had some visitation, even if it was supervised. Unless he was in prison he'd get to see his kids. Also, the plot started with him talking to Macy covertly, what happened there? It seemed like the plot was going to be about the kids getting free from their slut mother? What was that about? As far as the pound of flesh is concerned, I have a better idea: They took his heart, they repay him with theirs - literally...

Yes there were holes in the story, and names got mixed up, but as another ending it was interesting to see the similarities and differences.

the kids turned their back on him to so fuck em and let em deal with a choice they made

for anyone who thinks im wrong, just remember the more you give away the more greedy people will take, the fuckwits proved their greed, it takes a truly stupid fucker to fall for it again.

one for the stupidity of the piece

Thanks for the offering.

It shouldn't have taken Jimbo reneging for him to get custody of Karen.

After keeping the kids he KNEW about away from him, then not even telling him about the fourth kid until they needed his kidney, custody of Karen should have been a given.

All he lost was Andria, kids he never tried to be a dad to and some money.

Would have been a great place to insert the urban myth about the guy who picks up a woman, gets slipped a Mickey and wakes up in a bathtub full of ice minus a kidney.

My Ex Wifes Wants Are Meaningless To Me, TK U MLJ LV NV

Interesting tale. Jeff became a success in spite of being cuckolded by Andria. Jeff still got fucked without a kiss, however. He did not get to see his first children grow until they were formulated in their ways. Pity. Good writing. Very few typos. Cheers!

but even i know what was in this story was bullshit. you should at least do a little research on family law if you want to write about divorce.

There is at least one good reason why people have two kidneys - in case one fails.

This is why most organ donations are posthumous.

Why would a living person give a necessary body part to a stranger?

Especially a stranger raised by people who would be best described as enemies.

Why would he want anything at all to do with the three older children?

They didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with dropping contact with their father, after mention of the burner phones and secret email address early on there is no mention of continuing contact.

So it would seem that they forgot him, after all he wasn't rich so of no use to them.

Funny how they didn't mention their new sister in seven years.

Why would he want custody of that little girl?

She was a stranger to him, raised by and with greedy corrupt people who thought nothing of screwing over their own family.

in what world does a father not get any visitation rights. only when he is deemed a risk to his children. in this story their is no way he wouldnt have gotten to see his kids. yes his kids after they got old enough couldve cut ties with him on their own but that wouldnt happen until they reach 18. different states do have different laws but your living in a fantasy land if you dont think this is stupid. hell ive even heard of ex-cons being able to see their kids yet this guy spends years without even being able to talk to them bullshit.

I had in mind that the husband was severely depressed at his wife's trading up. His ego was shattered, he felt worthless and rejected, inadequate. As such he was doom and gloom with his kids, wallowing in self pity. In his depression, he gave up on keeping ties to his kids. He didn't fight for them! Yes, he could have gone to court, but he didn't.

They went on with their lives, he with his. Moved on. Later, when the depression lifted, and he got over the hurt, he realized what he had lost, and re connected with his children. A theme in the story was depression, but I probably should have made it more explicit.

You are right, few living people would give a kidney for anyone, and especially to someone not kin. It was a ruse to show he loved his children more than the step father. Youth are often impetuous and idealists, and he tried to talk his son out of donating a kidney, but failed. Maybe his son wanted to show his step father that he was a better man, and to show his father that he was like him. I try to make Characters complex, occasionally acting in ways that are understandable, but not in their own best interest.

Glad you all liked it...

Chilley

I have a donated kidney - mine did come from a person who donated upon death BUT while waiting I had 2 friends process themselves to donate a kidney to me - NOT KIN - my brother was also processed and rejected due to a weird immune issue. Another friend had lined up testing when my current kidney became available and I received it.

None of these people (other than myu brother of course) had any blood connection to me and none in any way owed me any great sacrifice - but they were there for me. It happens - so does giving up hope and running away from your grief as this dad did. Look at life in the fullest not from your prejudiced view point. There are lot's of simply good people out there.

But it was a bit confusing about his kids. At first they seemed to join in his conspiracy and stayed in touch with him via the phones. Did he actually see them? Then the kids seemed to fall under the money tree and didn't see him. Then they were talking again. It was unclear how much they stayed in touch. But one thing was clear. In a divorce the kids would have been interviewed by a therapist assigned by the Family Court. Lacking alcohol, drugs or abuse he would have been awarded significant visitation. No amount of money would have altered that fact. I just found that to be a weak point in the story. And him gaining custody of Karen would have been another point the Court would have decided, legal agreement or not. Got to love the Court system in this Country.

Although it wasn't absolutely clear, it seemed his kids left him for the money and didn't really stay in touch. So he missed his kids growing up. No amount of money or revenge can get those years back for him. His ex ended up rich so she got her wish. He was the one that lost.

You be better off. 1* !

You certainly are clever with your plot elements.

Your "revenges" are unique and yur characters recognizable.

Keep up the good work.

so you stood by and let some whore and a bastards take your kids from you no matter how it turned out afterwords i my book that makes this guy an unfit father you should have burned the world down before you would have let it happen you fight for your kids and if necisery die but you did neither some guy it is pff

Normally I like Chilley Willey but the whole premise of this story is flawed. The was the governor's cousin. What a juicy story it would have been for the papers. All he would have had to do was go to them and tell how the gov's cousin had been screwing his wife for a year and now won't let him see his kids.

The guy is a pansy to lay down so easily and let some asshole keep him from his kids. Sorry, I couldn't even finish the story. It made no sense to me.

It really makes no sense that he couldn't get partial custody or at least visitation rights, it is worded as if he didn't even try.

If that's the case then it is his own fault for not having the children in his life.

Plot holes galore. It was obvious that James was

gonna chicken out. Therefore the contract should

have read that James would have to pay the Husband

maybe 5 million bucks and the mansion he was living.

THIS AUTHOR CONTINUES TO BE A PUSSY.

How about a fun raiser to give the guy some manhood

lessons?

Hard to believe that he couldn't get some visitation. The wife decided she didn't want anything else form him but that doesn't void his rights as a father.

And yeah, there should have been a big stinking financial penalty for Jimmy to weasel out of the kidney donation. Our hero shouldn't have benefited form it though, something like a huge donation to the kidney foundation.

The ex is keeping the kids from their Dad? Hell no. She has no right, and he could easily fix that through the courts. Every judge sitting would establish temporary visitation until a final visitation schedule is drafted in the divorce decree. And if she fucked with a judge's order? Well, she can spend the night in lockup for contempt of court.

Hell... actually, fuck the courts. He's their dad. They're not yet divorced. So he could legally pick them up from school and take them home with him, and there's not a fucking thing she could do about it. Not. One. Fucking. Thing.

Authors...keep your fantasy and your make-believe to the plot of the story. Don't make up bullshit that would never happen in the real court system. It only serves to ruin your entire story.

That is bullshit and they wouldn't be able to do that. He would be able to see the kids as much as he wants while they were still legally married. Plus after that no court would deny him visitation. That whole part just ruined the entire story. If you are going to make a story about that you have to at least do a minimal amount of research to know what you are talking about.

1 star. That whole premise ruined the entire story. Do research next time.

There are many ways to manipulate access to children after a divorce. Faked illness, out of town trips, and oops! Was this your weekend? Any efforts to force this through the court system can be delayed or diverted by the richer party through legal shenanigans- all without denying the poor father any of his legal rights to custody. After a while, the children adjust and that's game over; it's pointless to fight by then. This story, while quite good, lacked the emotional context of a great story. More like 'oh, she has robbed me of my progeny, alas. I feel enraged...or perhaps it is just gas. Oh, well.' With a bit of fire, this would be a 5 star story. 4 stars, sorry. JPR

illiterate shit.

Story based in a ridiculous premise, that the father would be denied any contact with his children for no reason other that his ex wanted it. His kids wanted contact (they used the cell phones and email) and no abuse issues.

Why would his new wife want to be so supportive of the ex bitch after her treatment of the guy?

Same old same old, husband is dumped, husband remarries a babe, wife loses lover/husband, hubby lives happily ever after, wife lives alone and bitter. To bad this never really happens.

it happens everyday.....their called man haters, ex-wives, bitter bitches and so are stalkers. I was just a story in the news about a boyfriend breaking up with his girlfriend, she tracked him down 2 years later and killed him because he refused to take her back. And here you think women are bitter.....WAKE UP! that being said Good Story!

The Easter Bunny gave away Easter Eggs and Saint Nick gave way gifts and Saint Paddy gave me a green beer. What a load of horse shit th it story was. I had to take a good shit after reading this story. Boy, did that feel so good.

Hoping to see another one from this author in the future.

Had the makins' of a good story but James walked. I'd have made sure I got my "pound of flesh" from him...and not in a nice or legal way!!!

I can commiserate with the protagonist. 8

Com

I liked it, but it was still a bit too “civilized” for my taste. Jeffery should have beat the everloving shit out of James. And after he recovered, he should have kicked his ass again. The first time, for stealing his wife, and the second time, for stealing his kids. Oh, and maybe a third time just because James was a despicable piece of shit. See what I mean, I like it when contentious divorces get a little loud and roudy.

5-stars & Favorite.

and making them worse

Really? nearly a decade with no real contact with his kids and a less than 30 second reconciliation? If I recall correctly not one of them ever said the word sorry

Use of the word cunt here. Hero wins in the end, im good with that. 5

What about his legal right to see his kids? Standard visitation is the minimal unless someone is proven unfit and that seems to be hard to do. They are kids, not always good at decisions, it is his job as a dad to stay in their world!

Who is Miriam?.Also he as been divorced for well over a year ,before he meets Heather and courts her for months before they marry.When they have been married seven years,he gets told her has a seven year old daughter,so with the timescale,how can she be his.

No

If my wife invited my ex-wife into the house by saying, "It's my house too, and you'll be nice to her if only because she's a guest in our house!", she would soon be another ex-wife. What kind of wife takes sides with anyone over her husband?

If I was told to be nice to my ex by my current wife, she'd probably be joining her as another ex! The main character is weak, a pussy, and a wimpy cuckold! He had an excellent chance to extract even more from both cheaters and passed. He deserved to be cuckolded for that.

A good story, where there is a comeuppance for the deserting wife. Thank-you for the good read,

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I have read other such transplant stories. Only once have I seen where the potential donor refused to donate. That one being 'Instrument of Vengeance', by Hooked1957. All other transplant stories deal with the recipients being the offspring of the donor and none of them have the donor refusing. I have always felt such a refusal would bring different level of drama to such a story. Unfortunately, I do not have the patience or talent to write such a refusal story.

If you read further you will find spoiler(s) for that 'fic, so be warned.

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The reason Hooked1957's tale sands out is because it is the only one, (so far that I have found), that has the potential donor refusing to make the donation. He refuses to provide the donation for the lover his wife left him for.

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Pasqual

Good take on the newly discovered daughter needs your kidney, and your cheating wife and her lover want you to happily donate. Good karmic revenge on Andria and happy life for our hero, which is all good. Hooked’s great story can’t be compared to these” daughter needs transplant” stories. His concerned giving a kidney to the bitch lover who broke up his marriage. That one was perfect.

"Commensurate" is not "commiserate."

I rather liked the fact that the Main Character donated a kidney, even though he had never been told that the child existed. Men take care of children.

Very clever plot idea!

"she can at least commensurate with you more than I can."

Oh, come on, if you are going to use a four syllable word, at least find out what it actually means. I suspect you meant commiserate.

But you cannot spell Fourth properly?

Still 5 stars

ha; commensurate, huh?

who in the world is Miriam?

3 stars - you need an editor, or at least someone to proofread before you post.

5ive 5tars!!!!

"She's your flesh and blood. We're having trouble finding a kidney match, and she in total kidney failure"

Siblings who have the same mother and father are more likely (25% of the time) to be A 6-antigen or “perfect” match which is the single best match that can occur between a donor and recipient. A match with a sibling is always going to be better than with a single parent. Jeffery and his ex had three older children together they would have the better match than Jeffery.

Other than this small detail it was a good story. Thanks for the read.

Best line:

""You worthless cunt! You were happy enough when you were cheating on your husband and denying him his children, weren't you! You really expect sympathy from me? Turn about is fair play! "

Karma came around in bit her in her bony ass!

Who is Marion? This mysterious lady appears and disappears in one paragraph in the middle of this yarn with no explanation! I have now read the original version by Huedogg2 and the chilleywilley version is much better although it desperately needs revision by a decent editor. Despite this we must be grateful that it doesn’t contain editors notes like one of chilleywilley’s other yarns. 4 stars.

5 stars, though I hate that his kids virtually abandoned him until the Kidney problem.

Good. Well written.

Needed more detail about the divorce. Did Jeffrey fight for any sort of shared custody? Seems unusual that he would not get some visitation even if only a couple of weeks during summer or other vacation. Unfortunately, the children disappeared from the story after the appearance of Heather. Were there still phone calls from the older kids to Jeffrey?

How did the Karen sharing go after Andria moved to Florida? Did James even care about her? Did Karen ever get married and did James attend her wedding?

So, lots of plot holes that could have been filled to make this a much better story. I still gave this story 5 stars for the BTB factor.

mfj

Outstanding! Life it's self tends to give retribution to people who deserve it. 5 Stars all all day long.

Too much debt has not been repaid, not enough revenge

Ok, overall good story except for 2 parts. The kids ongoing relationship with James (that's major bullshit) and the fact that he actually entertained time going to the ex's new residence in Florida. Are you shitting me. Let that witch just rot away alone. Why would u want to toxify your current relationship with exposure to that trash.

There is some serious karma in that story! Life really is what you make of it. Good story! Thanks for sharing.

Great story and good plot kept me reading until the end. It dawned on me when Andria dropped the bombshell, that Jeffery's seven year old daughter needed a kidney transplant. Here we discover James Buchanan is shooting blanks and could never have a family of his own. He must have known this before marrying Andria. So in essence he bought a family. I’m not sure whether the author wanted the reader to come to this conclusion or not.

Great Story!!

Um... So how was she able to take their kids away from him, again? Totally unrealistic and poorly written.

2nd reading for me. Best parts were, introducing Heather and 2 older ladies giving them a ride to the marina, and the Kidney contract, aftermath.

This is messed up in several ways. Needs an editor big time for spelling, switching names, homonyms, etc. The whole thing where his kids are just cut off makes no sense legally, and Macy goes out of her way to stay in touch for a year but NEVER mentions the baby? What?

Also, I have a home outside Annapolis and friends in Chestertown (which you spell at least 4 different ways!) and your description of the town makes no sense. It doesn't shut down in the winter like much of the Shore due to the presence of the college! Not to mention the yacht lifers who winter there and all the DC and NYC folk who have weekenders and use the local airport to fly in and out. Also, anyone from DC who's there would know Waldorf.

That's not even getting in to the whole kidney thing, you tried but this is a mess.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. The key to writing a believable story is to either (a.) write what you know, or (b.) research, research research. The Internet is a boon to smart writing, whether it's writing skills, research, or a place to post your work. The poor quality as so many point out is the result of poor, lazy writing. I would be appalled, anonymity or not if my work was received like this. (Yes, I do/am.) The upside is this isn't your typical effort, so I'm not sure why you pressed the "Publish" button. Hint: get a GOOD editor and not someone who is afraid to push back on your work and tell you when it's bad.

Neat little BTB! I am not happy that the older kids lost nothing at all for their abominable behavior, but won't dock points in light of happy end for MC

Actually a good version of Huedogg's and FD45's stories. He get his revenge by that old adage, "The best revenge is living well." He rescued his family, and left the undeserving ex-wife high and dry to become a shriveled, bitter and envious old prune. Well done!

If only life worked out this well.