All Comments on 'My Gun, The Sun'

So what is going on here? He's suicidal, does his sister and then sees everything anew? "Smoking gun" is that a metaphor for his cock or did he kill her? This is a very strange, trippy story. It almost has a Native American zing to it. On the flip side, it's kind of nonsensical, sounds sort of translated, and barely qualifies as I/T.

was that ?

made no sense at all

PEOPLE MAY ASK WHAT THIS WAS ....I TAKE THIS AS A RUNNING FORM OF POETRY.... NOT IN RYHM BUT IN CONTENT AND CANTOR .....WHETHER YOU KNEW YOU WERE DOING THIS WOULD BE A SUPRISE TO ME SINCE I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE........GOOD JOB,,,,,, NOW MAKE IT LONGER WITH SOME CONTENT TWIST..........

Complete twaddle, existensialist-wannabe, runny ass-gravy of the first order, and a complete waste of time. This reads like the author picked up a thesaurus and tripped-out on how many synonyms he could string together before something coherent emerged; he might as well give an infinite number of monkeys typewriters and wait for them to churn out the complete works of Shakespear. Please go away and write for one of the occult magazines, they appreciate this nonsense, this is not the forum for you to masturbate in public.

Pure Bullshit

... Interesting. I'm awful at rating stuff and this is a great example of how I can get stuck. I appreciate the difference but like another comment the difference and lack of anything like this leaves worry if it's really five-star material. I think I will go with a five-star but I expect more stories from you Blasfemmy (like this or not.)

To one of the anons, prose like this is called 'poetic prose.' I haven't seen much of it other than Elizabeth Smart's 'BY GRAND CENTRAL STATION I SAT DOWN AND WEPT' but it is definitely "a thing." Some of the previous comments are pretty obviously unfair. I like that it was a radically different approach and not just a quick fap story. It's a fap story for the very soul! :P

if this is the best you can do STOP NOW you suck at writing stories. this needs to be deleted and rewritten by a GOOD WRITER that knows enough to use a GOOD EDITOR.

This story has a good concept and plot, but get an editor, or at least proof read your work because this sucked.

This was very well written!!!!! It was poetic!! And a great cpncept!!

Im sad he killed himself, but glad he was happy.

Dont listen to these twatbags >:[

I didn't like the ending but I guess it was bound to happen any way so what ever but any way great job keep writing and yes I agree slightly with a few of the comments it could stand to be proof read or have an editor look over it but all in all a great story

Story means it will have a backup or strong background

In I can't see anything & not even a good & explainable ending

So some bullshit to me

did not understand it