My Health - 1780

We spoke of the use of a woman's own fluids to ease the entry into this tighter hole. That her own fluids may be insufficient for the task and how a small bit of bacon fat could be used to grease the opening. How the wife may need to spend time stretching herself to be able to accommodate her husband there; starting with one of her fingers and building to use two, three or even four for that purpose. We discussed the need for careful cleaning of both the wife and the husband between the buggering and the normal mating. By the end of our tea, I felt I had enough information to be able to try this procedure if my husband spoke of it with me.

I had hopes that my husband would spend the few days and nights with me before we returned to our home, but when I rang for the kitchen servant to remove the tea things, she brought a note from my husband saying that he had journeyed to the coast to handle some business and he would meet me at home by the end of next week. She also had a note from the doctor which included the recipe for the soup and the directions for how much and when I should partake of it in preparation for my next fertile period with my husband. No mention was made in either my husband's note, nor in the doctor's note of the second treatment option.

At dinner that evening, I told the doctor that since my husband had gone to attend to his business, I saw no reason to delay my departure for home and so I would be leaving early the next morning. I needed to return to review the running of my home for the two months that I had been gone and I needed to rest and prepare for the return of my husband. The doctor told me that if I was enjoying my visit and the company of his other guests, there was no need to hurry off so quickly, but that he understood my desire to get home to rest and prepare.

He said that he would consult his research notes tonight and in the morning, if I still wished to leave, he would have the name and directions to locate a folk healer that he had consulted with in his research in my area. He said he trusted her with almost any healing procedure short of the surgeon's knife; high praise indeed from the doctor who had written many medical monographs, papers followed by most of the practicing physicians in this part of the country. And more importantly to me, it gave me a source for obtaining additional medical information if there arose some need beyond what I had received from the doctor and nurses during this visit.

*****

When we had married, my husband had been able to clear slightly more than three weeks on his business calendar for our honeymoon and so I had spent only several weeks in my new home before being ushered off to the doctor's estate. Now I would have enough time to explore my new surroundings and to get to actually know the staff and workers of the estate as well as the ladies of the other estates located nearby. But I needed to know my husband's wishes before I started adding events to my calendar. On the other hand certain household issues were mine to address.

The trip back home was somewhat trying and I rested peacefully in my rooms during the first morning back at home. I scheduled to meet with the housekeeper after lunch to review how things had gone during my absence, whether there were any problems with the maids, did the maids and the kitchen staff get on well, things of that nature. I also wanted to meet with the cook to verify that the ingredients needed for the soup were all on hand for when I would need it. Although the use of the soup seemed to me to be the worse of the treatment options, at that time I had no way to make any arrangements to use the other option without upsetting the entire process and possibly getting the nurse in trouble with the doctor. I would have to wait to discuss that other option with my husband.

The second morning back, I had the head groundskeeper in to inquire if he knew of the folk healer that the doctor had mentioned. He said he indeed knew of her and that my husband had given her permission to gather items in the wooded areas of the estate for her teas and poultices. My husband had also suggested that whenever possible, one of the daughters of a groundskeeper should go with the healer and help with the gathering and be learning what she could of the healing art.

If I wished to meet the healer, I had returned at a very good time as she was expected to arrive the next morning on her monthly gathering trip. She generally made a large loop around the east or west half of the estate and then after sorting things out that evening, made the loop of the other half during the next day. She would stay that next night and again sort the gathered items before heading off to her next stop when it became light enough to see the road to travel the next morning.

The head groundskeeper's daughter had been accompanying the healer for about four years and one of her friends, a stableman's daughter, had been going along for the last two years with a pony for hauling larger quantities of gathered items. Some of these extra gathered items were kept in a room near the kitchen for use on the estate. Others were carefully labeled, packed and sent to the doctor for his studies.

Sometimes the doctor would send back a new recipe for combining some of the items which he felt might be a better treatment for some particular illness with a request that it be tried and the results sent to him after a certain amount of treatment time. These recipes were of course shared with the healer to get her opinion and they usually arrived a day or two before her next scheduled trip to the estate. I had in fact carried the next set of recipes for testing and review when I had returned from the doctor's estate.

I had breakfast and was sitting watching the next morning when the healer came leading her donkey and cart to the stable area. She appeared to be a rather older woman which I expected but she was remarkably spry in her walking. I had intended to ask if I might accompany her on her gathering loop today so that I may talk with her about my own health concerns without interrupting her usual schedule. I decided that the exercise of keeping up with her would be beneficial for me if she would have me along.

The stablemen always took care of her donkey and made any repairs to her cart that may be needed while she did her collecting. And the cook always made a lunch basket for the three so they could avoid the extra walk back in the middle of the loop. I just asked the cook to add enough food and drink for me when the healer said she would be glad to have me along.

We had stopped and sat to eat lunch on the side of a small creek that flowed down out of a heavy wooded area above the trail that we had been following. As she and I were finishing eating, she pulled a small mushroom from a pouch and showed it to the girls. She told them to look closely at the mushroom; note the smooth stem and the slightly darker color of the cap than the stem. They should remove their boots and stockings and proceed to walk in the water up the creek to the edge of the heavy woods. There they should see mushrooms growing on both sides of the creek. Slowly and carefully, without disturbing any of the other mushrooms, they should pick up to half of those like this one that they find. The others were not useful and she did not want the spores of the others to destroy the usefulness of those they were to pick. They could take the sample with them to show the correct one to get.

While the girls were about that task, the healer asked me if I had something in particular that I wished to discuss, possibly something to do with having children. The surprise must have showed on my face and she chuckled and said that no, she did not have some second sight power, but rather she knew that I had married just about four months ago and had been sent off to the doctor for testing.

"It may be impossible for you to tell by looking at me now, but when I was your age, I too was a petite woman and had difficulty catching with my first child. But I had already been studying at the knee of the folk healer for more than ten years and so I knew the treatments and discussed them with my husband. Over the years, my man and I had five children before he passed, and all are now grown and gone their own way except my youngest daughter who studies still with me and helps me in my work. Even she is old enough to be your mother, child.

"I am sure that the doctor explained what the problem is, and I'm just as sure that he only had his nurse give you the soup recipe treatment, I know that he will not explain even that treatment to the patient. He is a good man but he still has not learned that the needs of the patient must come before his own sensibilities and prejudices. Maybe I still have time to convince him; maybe it will be my daughter who finally wins his mind to that truth.

"If you were lucky, you were attended by his nurse, Jeanine. I have spoken many times with Jeanine and among many other things I have also explained the other treatment for your condition. I believe that Jeanine would tell you of the second treatment even if she feared that you may have her sacked for speaking of it. She is a blessing to all who come under her care. She will be a great healer in her time.

"The second treatment option is by far the easier of the two, it does not require any cooking which often upsets the entire household, it is something that can be handled strictly between just your husband and yourself, the only problem is that you must have open communication with your husband and be willing to make small adjustments to accommodate each other. Once you have tried it a couple times, you may find that you even like it and come to enjoy sharing the extra closeness with your husband. My man and I certainly did and we continued using it even after we no longer needed it.

"Ahhh, here come the girls. I assume you do not want them to know of our conversation. I will not say anything more now, but if you need more information, just ask me... Ahhh, girls, let's look at what you found and make sure that we have only the correct mushrooms to carry with us."

With those few words, the healer had resolved my problems and we happily continued the rest of the gathering loop for the day. When we arrived back at the house, I whispered to them that I had become too soft in the last few months and that I was totally exhausted. Out loud, I mentioned that I hoped the gathering the next day would provide all that the healer needed but that I had too many household details that I needed to handle and would therefore not be available for the next day. Even the healer giggled with us about that as I turned to go back up to the house. I stopped to ask what they would be doing about tea and dinner, but the healer said they had no time for tea and would have dinner after they sorted separated and divided the items gathered today.

*****

It was now the middle of the week, my husband was due to return on either Friday or Saturday and my most fertile period would be starting on Friday. The soup treatment was to start on Thursday. The cook did indeed have all of the needed ingredients and she cooked it up in the outside kitchen between breakfast and lunch. She tasted just a drop and informed me that it was just as vile as she remembered it to be. I ate about half of the serving directed by the doctor's recipe at mid-morning Thursday and by the end of the day, I was so sick that I could not even rise to go to the bathroom. By Friday morning, the housekeeper told the cook not to make any more since I was hallucinating and unable to even lift my head from my pillow. The head groundskeeper had sent his daughter to ask for the help of the healer and his daughter had returned with recipes for two different teas that I should drink two or three cups of each day to restore my vitality. Obviously, I would be unavailable to my husband this weekend.

The housekeeper informed my husband that I had been moved to the farthest guest room, the one near the stables and that despite the maids bathing me four times a day, I still smelled worse than a stall before its cleaning. I was too weak to get out of bed without the help of two maids and had been out of my head until shortly before he arrived on Saturday at tea time. She advised him not to stress me and that perhaps on Monday, with the use of a wheeled chair; I may be able to meet with him on one of the porches connected to the guest wing of the house.

By tea time on Monday, I was able to sit up holding my head steady and with effort; I could raise my hand to touch the shoulder of the maid leaning down to help me out of bed. I was placed in a wheeled chair and taken out on the porch. The amount of perfume they dumped on me made my head want to spin but I smelled a lot better with it than without it. I was able to watch my husband approach and I smiled. He took my hand and despite the grimace I saw, he kissed it. I told him I was sorry I had not been able to attend him on his arrival but in a few days I hoped to be able to welcome him properly. I told him I had new information about a treatment for my condition, but that we needed to discuss it before making any decisions. I managed to tell him I love him before asking to go back to bed to rest.

Monday evening for supper, they had some shredded chicken and some noodles in my broth, and I managed to eat the whole portion and even a little bit more. Later I was able to drink the two cups of one of the teas recommended by the healer. On Tuesday morning, I managed to eat an egg on toast with a cup of tea and at mid-morning, I drank both cups of tea brought to my own room where I had been returned after my morning bath. Even I felt that I was starting to smell like myself again.

That evening when we were alone at the supper table after finishing our meal, I told my husband that although I may not be strong enough to do much for him tonight, that if he wished, I would be available to him for his use. He came over to my chair and getting down on one knee, he kissed both my hands and both my cheeks and told me that he would love to spend the night with me but that he would not be using me until he was sure that his attentions would not cause a relapse in my recovery. He said that he would control his desire for me until we both could enjoy our time together.

When I tried to tell him that I might only be fertile for tonight or at best another day or two, he silenced me with his finger saying that we had years before us in which to have children. I tried to say that his sons should be born as soon as possible to learn directly from him his businesses and his values but again his finger came to my lips and silenced me. When I tried to speak again, he stopped me with a kiss and another and another until I knew not to try again, and he pulled back just an inch and looked into my eyes, then he finally seemed to relax and pulled back just a little more.

He told me that the discussions were ended for the night; that they would be continued, possibly tomorrow if he judged that I was strong enough at that time. We would have breakfast and take a walk in the gardens and if he decided the time was right, we would sit in one of the niches and talk over more things then. For now, he offered to walk me to the sitting room or the music room or to the library where I might enjoy a glass of sherry or wine or even a cup of tea while he intended to retreat to his study and have a cognac and a smoke and verify that his business interests would allow him to remain with me on the estate for the next several days.

As we arose from the supper table, I asked if it would be alright with him if I had the wife of the head groundskeeper and the stablemaster and their eldest daughters attend me while I sat in the library. I wished to talk with them about the number and ages of all of the children living here on the estate as I may want to think about starting a school to help them be better educated when they started some sort of apprenticeship as they reached the proper age. At least being able to read and write, would make them more useful to our own estate and to themselves as they became adults. It would also occupy my time when he had to be away for his business.

He agreed with the thought and sent my maid to ask them if they were free to meet with me for an hour or so while he went to his study. But, he said, no more than an hour or an hour and a half; that I should not overly tire myself while I was still recovering. He would stop by then a little later to insure that I relaxed and went to my bed for rest at a reasonable time. As another matter, I also said to him that I needed to know his business calendar and his social calendar so that I could establish my own social calendar to not conflict with his. He said we would definitely talk more of that on the morrow. As we came down the hall towards the library, the ladies awaited me. He allowed them to proceed into the room while he kissed my hand before heading on to his study.

It was during that first hour of discussion that I found out that my husband had already established an informal schooling for the estate children. When he had his business agents come to stay at the estate to learn from him of his practices and techniques, as part of their training, he would have them teach the children reading, writing and numbers for a part of each day. The agents knew that this was part of their work and that my husband was evaluating them as to their dealings with less educated people.

The children just knew that if they stayed and did the reading, writing and numbers, the cook would have a treat for them to carry home for their lunch. As a side benefit to this informal education, my husband had discovered three children whom he had sent on to more formal education on their way to becoming his business agents, three that would not have been noticed if not for the informal schooling. He felt that these three were full compensation for the expenses of having slates and books and setting aside a space for the schooling, and, there could be more discoveries coming along at a later date, too.

My husband had not had any agents here training since our wedding and although my more formal education plan did not look like it would be useful at this time, perhaps I should restart the informal schooling as soon as possible. This brought to mind that I had no idea of just how many projects my husband had running to help the estate and the surrounding community. Maybe he even had an orphanage that he was supporting, just like our honeymoon hosts had, that I was unaware of; something that I should be helping him with. We needed to talk about many more things than I had thought.

Before I had a chance to ask the ladies what else my husband had been doing to help the estate and community, he arrived to inform me that my time was up for tonight since he did not want me overly tired during my recovery. As the ladies returned to their own hearth and home, my husband attended me to my own bedroom for the night. Having also dismissed my maid, my husband helped me change into a night gown before we retired to sleep; he said that even though he was set on not tiring me during my recovery, even he would not be able to contain himself if I had my charms on display for the whole night. I had not realized how tired I had become, and as I cuddled up to my husband's side, safe in his arms, a wave of sleep just surged over me and I knew no more until the morning.

*****

I opened my eyes to the most marvelous sight I could ever hope to see; the sun-kissed lips of my husband as he dropped his head off his hand and they approached my own lips. When we had to break the kiss to breathe again, I asked my husband how long he had been watching me sleep. He said not nearly long enough, but just about as long as he could resist kissing me awake. He said that maybe, if he devoted some time to that every morning for the rest of his life, it would be enough time watching. He said he was very happy that I had fallen asleep so quickly last night because if I had snuggled as usual, he feared that he would not have been able to contain himself and he'd have broken his own rule that I should get rest to complete my recovery.