by reverdemoi
Why is this posted in loving wives? The narrator sounds like he is in middle school or maybe not even that old. I'm not sure what this was but it seemed way too immature for an erotic site.
do the human race a favour and kill yourselves
Where the hell are you going with this story? Bad intro. Should have gone a lot further. So far all we have is a hairless teenage boy running naked through back yards. Sounds like the beginning of a pedophile story. And aliens? Really? REALLY???
Second of all: wrong category. Third: wrong fucking category.
Is anybody else beginning to wonder just what is going on in Lit? All we seem to be getting now is this cuck garbage, where are all the good LW authors? Please, please come and liberate us from this cesspool of cuck.
After all those hostile comments by our good reader Anonymous, so far this isn't a bad story. It is intriguing and I look forward to seeing where it's going. And it is well written too.
Two crits which the writer may ignore. Firstly It might have please the Anonymous Literotica readers more if he'd started further on in the story and done the sci-fi bit as a flash back. Secondly why not finish the whole darn story and then post it? I don't like serials. I don't always catch the subsequent episodes.
Fuck off! you don't like the story, don't read it. I see a lot of potential. Maybe no "Loveing wives" stuff, but this story could go anywhere from here. We already got reference to aliens. Stuff happened last night. Could have been a dream. Soooo, lets let the kid do his thing.
Think about it, nobody gets into the nitty of a story on page one. So why should reverdemoi?
Can't Waite to see more from you on this topic hope you post it soon
Now THAT is what makes reading the comments worthwhile - hysterically funny comments like his. "If you don't like it, don't read it"? And exactly how do we know that we don't like it if we don't read it? I figure he was drunk when he wrote the comment. The story itself. I give it a maybe. And I'll wait for the next part before voting.
I'm thinking this one was mislabeled as loving wives and cuckold. Especially since the description of the other one is going from virgin to cuckold.
As for the story, it was meh. Definitely needed to be longer or include some more backstory. Decent start, but needs work.