My Life's Playlist Ch. 08

"I can't blame anyone but myself, so I promise no moping." I added to the end of my summary. I figured if I repeated this enough I'd start believing it.

"You are still planning to chaperone the dance Saturday night?" Ted asked.

"You know I wouldn't miss my annual dance with you! Besides how else am I going to see the latest in fashion if I don't go," I laughed.

"We'll pick you up promptly at 6:30."

The entire 7^th grade was buzzing with excitement. The Valentine's Day dance was our school's largest event. Only 7^th and 8^th graders could attend, and everyone dressed up. Of course tears were shed over invitations not given, but most of the kids came in big groups, not as couples. I always thought the concept of 7^th graders "going out" was a bit absurd. After all, where could they go? They couldn't drive and they didn't work. After a few years I finally figured out that going out meant they spent an inordinate amount of time texting each other. I won't say that I didn't know some of our kids were already sexually active, but since I wasn't their parents, nor did I teach sex ed., there was not a lot I could do legally, so I kept my fingers crossed. I was, however, still puzzled by the fact that giving a blowjob was not considered having sex. Whatever.

Annie and I spent Saturday doing girly things. We indulged in mani/pedis and facials at the local day spa, and then enjoyed lunch. Subtle (or not so subtle) reminders of the holiday were scattered among the shop windows. I sighed and reminded myself that the fact I had no one was my own damn fault. I turned back to Annie and asked her what she and Ian had planned for tonight.

"Ian is on call tonight. Drew was whining the other day that he never got to spend Valentine's Day with his wife, so I offered to finish the last part of his shift for him. I'm going to relieve him about 5:00."

"I hope he's not too much like you, because if he is, she'll be lucky to get an hour of his attention before he falls asleep," I giggled.

"Ah, but if you know what to do with that hour," she smiled knowingly. "Ian and I have spent many a satisfying hour in the in-call room together, if you know what I mean."

"Ew, enough with the over share," I groaned.

"I'm just saying," she replied with a grin. "Not to change the subject, but have you heard anything from Tor?"

"Nope, and I don't expect to. He made it pretty clear he was done with me on Friday. Time for me to get over him."

"Easier said than done."

"No shit. That said; let's concentrate on more important things, like what I'm going to wear tonight. I'd hate to be out-styled by a 13 year old," I laughed.

We paid our check and went shopping to put together the perfect outfit. I needed to be dressy, but not overdressed. Annie claimed the powers that be had forgotten to give me my shopping gene, but I always maintained she had gotten mine and hers. Annie was a master. She managed to find the perfect dress in the second shop we went in. It was a deep pink empire waist raw silk cocktail dress. Amazingly enough, it was a petite and my size, so it wouldn't need any alterations. I already had shoes and wrap that would look great with it. Almost before I'd finished signing the credit card slip, it was wrapped on a hanger and we were on our way out the door.

I was in my room reading when poked her head in on her way to work. She had her "seriously" face on, so I knew she had something important to say. I put down my book, and gave her my full attention. "What?"

"Just let tonight unfold Pipster. I don't know, maybe Cupid will shoot his arrow into the chest of that Swede you love. Just don't shut your heart to any of the possibilities."

"Donkeys are more likely to fly out of my ass, but whatever. Now get out of here and enjoy your 'romantic' on-call night. Maybe it will be quiet, and you get a whole hour and a half in the call room."

"Here's hoping. Bye Pip, see you Monday."

"Go!"

I was ready and waiting when I got Angie's text that they were pulling up to the door. I turned to Beau and said "Keep your fingers crossed, maybe you will get to see Axel again." He mewed back. Great, I've become the crazy lady who talks to her cat. I locked the door and ran down the steps into the car.

We got to the school and took up our posts. I was assigned to take their tickets, while Angie and Ted stood by the cafeteria door to greet them. Our PTSA had outdone themselves, and I barely recognized the cafeteria when I got a chance to peek in. Small white Christmas lights were strung from the ceiling and walls, providing just enough light into the room for us to make sure everyone was behaving, but not so much as to remind the kids that this was where they ate every day. Pink, red, and white hearts and balloons were strewn across the ceiling. The DJ was setting up on the stage, and the parents had laid out a feast of punch, cookies, and chips.

While the boys looked sharp in their "southern boy uniform" (khakis, tie, button down shirt, and navy blazer), the girls were literally breathtaking in their colorful dresses. While red and pink were the dominate colors, jewel tones seemed to also be big this year. For the most part they appropriately straddled the line between little girl and grown up, though in a few cases Ted and wondered if their parents knew what they were wearing. The giggle triplets came in with most of my homeroom, and compliments were exchanged all around.

"So Miss R-H, is Mr. Edvardson coming tonight? I bet he looks good in a suit," Katie inquired with an innocent grin.

"I don't know. You guys better go in because I think the first song is about to start." They filed in, and I was reassured by their giggles and awkwardness with the dressed up versions of each other that they really hadn't suddenly grown up overnight.

After about 45 minutes most of the students had who were coming had checked-in, so I went into the dance itself. The music was loud, and the kids were standing around talking to each other. A few brave 8^th graders were dancing, but the majority of the kids were too shy to ask each other to dance. Luckily the DJ had done a ton of Middle School dances, so he put on the Chicken Dance, which got everyone out on the floor, including me.

"You know how to do the Chicken Dance, Miss Rhys-Hall," asked an amazed Viktor as we clapped together.

"When you get to be my age and have gone to a gazillion weddings, you too will become the Lord of the line dance. If you're really lucky, you too will participate in a Congo line down a hotel hallway."

"I think I'll give it miss," he replied.

"Your loss."

The band or in this case the DJ played on. As the evening wore on coats were discarded and ties loosened. Some of the girls came to the painful realization that just because a shoe looks cute, it can actually be a medieval torture device in disguise. My colleagues and I stood back and watch our students take their first tentative steps towards adulthood. I danced with a few of my students and fellow staff members, and talked to the parents.

Okay, confession time, what I was really doing was trying to stop myself from hoping that Tor would appear at the door. As 7:30 became 9:30, and then 10:00, I stopped hoping and began accepting the reality that he was not coming. I had another hour of the dance to endure, so I put on my precious and lovely smile.

"Pippa, would you mind doing a quick check of the hallways to make sure no one is off limits?" asked Morgan.

"Anything for you big daddy," I replied. This duty consisted of walking up and down the halls and into the bathrooms to make sure no one had left the cafeteria area to find "alone" time. Our unofficial motto is "we send home as many as came; no more, no less". I walked the halls and was extremely grateful to find them empty. As I reached the end of the world, or my classroom as it was more commonly called I decided to use the master key Morgan had given me and go inside. The next think I knew I was sitting in my dark classroom at my desk, with my head in my arms, sobbing. I think my heart finally caught up with what my head already knew. I had royally screwed up my relationship with Tor, and he was not coming back. I'd end up being crazy Aunt Pippa, the one who talked to her twenty cats, the one who sent sucky birthday presents like socks and underwear, and the one no one wanted to visit. Hell, I already talked to the one cat I had. This made me sob even louder, so I didn't know anyone else had come in until I felt myself being lifted out of my chair and cradled against a very familiar chest.

Step 5 -- Grovel for forgiveness, big time!

"Shh karesto, why the tears?"

I was afraid to look up, but when two fingers went under my chin and gently lifted my head from his chest, I found myself once again looking into Tor's sky blue eyes. I slid my arms under his open coat and tightly hung onto his waist, afraid he'd disappear if I let go. "It got to be so late, and I figured you weren't coming, especially after you ignored me last Friday," I whispered against his chest.

"We had a game tonight and it went into overtime. I got here as soon as I could. I didn't know I could shower and dress so quickly, but I knew the dance ended at 11:00 and I didn't want to miss it."

I stepped away and used a Kleenex from my desk. I took a deep breath, turned towards Tor, and executed step five of my master plan.

"I'm sorry Tor. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I broke your heart. I felt guilty about my parents, and I pushed you away in the most permanent way I knew. I was a huge asshole, and I'll never be able to make it up to you, but if you can forgive me, I promise I'll try to do so every day you'll let me. I love you with all my heart, so please...."

He stopped me in mid-apology in the best way I could think of, he kissed me. "I snuck a look at you during the third period of the game, and I saw how heartbroken you looked. Then Drew told me what you had done to get me the note. Remind me not to have you negotiate my next contract karesto; it sounds like you gave him way too much to just deliver a note."

"But it was a really important note. Without his help I'd never been able to execute steps four and five of my plan." I was rising on my tiptoes to give him a kiss, when the sound of giggles echoed down the hall. I sighed and started walking to the door when he caught my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Miss R-H, Mr. Adamson sent me to tell you they're about to play the last dance. Oh hi Mr. Edvardson, are you going to ask Miss R-H for the last dance?" Katie asked in pretended innocence.

"Of course. Will you dance with me Pippa?" he asked raising my hand to his lips and brushing a kiss against it like an old-fashioned movie hero.

"It would be my pleasure," I replied, matching his formality.

"Then let's go ladies," he said extending one arm to me and one arm to Katie.

We entered the cafeteria to the strains of "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers. No, it wasn't a current song, but it was the traditional last dance at our school, and an inside joke with the staff. Whenever we were having a particularly interesting day, we look at each other and sing the refrain of the song. Austin claimed Katie, and Tor swept me onto the dance floor. I looked around the room to the people who meant the most to me. Ted and Angie danced by us and I stuck my tongue out at him as he winked and wiggled his eyebrows. Tor tightened his arms around me, and I looked up and smiled.

"Jag älskar dig," he said.

I didn't need a translation. "I love you too," I answered.

"Can we leave after this dance?"

"We can slip away now if you'd like."

"Very much so."

I caught Angie's eye and nodded my head towards the door. She smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Tor waited impatiently for me to gather my wrap and purse, and make my manners to Dr. and Mrs. Patrick and Morgan. As soon as we were out the front door he pulled into his arms and proceeded to give me the kiss I'd been waiting for all evening. "Is Annie on call tonight?" he asked breathlessly.

"Until Monday morning," I replied.

"I feel I've been neglecting your Swedish lessons. How about we stop by my house to pick up Axel and a change of clothes then we resume your education?"

"Ja snälla," I answered as he pulled me towards his car.

Before I knew it we had picked up Axel and were standing in my hallway kissing. Clothes magically disappeared and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me onto his hardness. My hands threaded into his hair as I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, just savoring his unique scent. Our bodies remembered the rhythm of our private dance, and we came to a shattering end together. I felt tears pricking my eyes and soon Tor felt them on his neck.

"More tears karesto?" he asked lifting my face to kiss them away.

"Happy ones, karlek," I said with a watery smile. "I know there are still tons of things we need to talk about, but right now do you think you remember how to get to my room?"

"I do. Will I still have to lie diagonally to fit?"

"Yeap."

"Then put that on our list of things to discuss tomorrow afternoon. Right now I have better uses for our time."

And he proceeded to prove it.