All Comments on 'My Little Ventrue Ch. 11'

I am glad you are back Novus and are going to continue the story. You are a very talented writer and I can definitely see you as a published writer. I am excited for the next part of the story and where you will take us next. Continue the great work!

The previous story was labeled with ch 10 and this is ch 14. Are there missing chapters or was this mislabeled?

Ah shit, I must have hit a 4 instead of a 1. This is supposed to be chapter 11. I'll get it fixed.

You know how to write a story, sir. Fantastic job. Can't wait for the next part. Keep it up.

Is the new pov going to be Jack's sister? It seemed like you were foreshadowing more involvement for her, as well as foreshadowing Jack considering whether or not to get a ghoul--and those two things further seemed like they might go hand in hand. If so, that would be a pretty interesting direction to go in.

I really enjoyed this series. A few things that particularly stood out that I'd like to compliment:

The lack of a harem theme. I'm getting really sick of those and I do hope you don't decide to drive the story in that direction. Thats remains your choice of course, still...

I applaud jack as a character. It is so refreshing to find a protagonist that isn't absolutely flawless. His 'realistic' appearance and attitude, if that is the right way to phrase it, are very well presented.

The Prince: She does fantastic things for the story, especially the relationship arc between Jack and her. Despite being a man myself, I find the constant portrayal of men as most powerful and dominant between the genders to be very tiresome and uninspiring. You present a powerful female character without it feeling inorganic and forced into the story. I mean to say that sometimes feminist writers force personal persuasions upon their writings that don't really belong. (Not that I'm 'accusing' you of being a feminist, of course.)

All in all, my personal favourite series I've read on the site so far. Well done! Looking forward to the next one!

Looking forward to book 2chspter 11 a fitting end

djb

I'm out. Stuff the church theme.

Everyone feel free to bitch and winge at me. However if you do you should read my last 10 comments and post using your user name. Or just piss off.

Let the gutless anonymous come, you will anyway.

Anonymous comments should be banned

This is an anonymous comment, because you don't know who I am. Your comments are provacative, and could ALMOST be considered trolling.

That is all I will say on the matter.

As a fan of Vampire the Requiem and Chronicles of Darkness, I wanted to withold judgement until I'd finished reading the whole story. But Damn! Interesting and original characters with a compelling, if somewhat rapidly progessing narratve. Easily as good as anything written by White Wolf or Onyx Path but without recourse to tired cliches or the forced diversity/SJW agenda of the aforementioned companies. I applaud your origininalty. 5* for for My Little Ventrue Part1

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Bitch after writing you’re own story. No reason to be a cock, seriously.

On a different note, yay Damien and Lucas! They really spice things up! I couldn’t remember what chapter they came in but I’ve been holding out for them. 😅

The peace of gluttony, and sloth."

A good description of our current times.

Despite a few little inconsistencies(like repeated descriptions of the same character by the same narrator without any reason to be noticing the appearance again, small typos etc) here and there the story overall was extremely satisfying to read. Looking forward to continuing reading part 2 and your other stories.

I was bored, and thought I would try your tale due to the many people who highly rated your writing. I was very pleased to see that you didn’t turn your vamps into sniveling, cuddly, ‘Twilight’ vampires for the most part (The snuggling through the day was a bit much for me to take. Vampires have always struck me as behaving more shark like, but this is not my tale). The struggle of Jack to reconcile his lost humanity with his new form is touching and feels real, as does the loss of connection of the elder vampires. Your characters are individual and their personal struggles and motivations are well defined. My only critique would be your downplaying the power of the inner beast and the inhuman drives it fosters.

All told this is the first vampire book I’ve enjoyed since reading Brahm Stoker’s Dracula. Thank you for sharing your talents here. I now find myself surprisingly drawn to read part two. Kudos to you for writing a vampire tale that was worth five stars, even to this hater of vampire stories.