All Comments on 'My Love's Brother'

But you don't give us enough here. Either of the seduction, or of the submission. It's a great idea for a story. But what about the voice character's inner conflicts? She just says, "Then take me...". I'm not saying that's unbelievable. It's perfectly believable in the heat of the situation. But what is she feeling? You're in her head as you're telling us this, you must know. What is she feeling about Andy as she gives her maidenhead to his brother?

And, leading up to that point - to what extent is the flirtation with Raymond a chase in itself, and to what extent is it out of control? Is she intending to seduce both brothers, or does she intent do remain faithful to Andy and simply find herself too turned on by Raymond?

This is a good story. But with just a bit more work it could be a great story.

Please continue your story. Enjoyed it a lot.

Love your writing and hope to see more--hopefully in new chapters of this story!