All Comments on 'My Loving Wife'

have a conversation between two other people that the subject of the story does not hear. The ending was meant as a twist, but it abandoned the POV of the rest of the story.

This end was to be a surprise, but it has some incongruities, only possible if this story has a part 2...: 1st - How did she know that was being watched by a PI? She was warned by her friend, but only that her husband had doubts...Why the need for her to kneed the lover in the nuts? 2nd - He should have present the report to his friend...And that would initiate an interesting events, and for sure the friend would have told him about his wife...3rd - As the PI said, the friend knew about his wife, but didn't want to acknowledge it...and he was in the same spot now: deep down he knew, but dismissed it...What a marine!!!! 1*

To go from complete trust to hiring a PI in a week is a huge step and how did an know she was being followed? Then to put on the charade of a loving wife? It seems to be to much to soon.

be interesting to see the results.

Just when you think Lynne is a loving wife and lover to husband, you make her a cheating slut. I wish it had ended without burner phone call. Eventually the phone will turn up, either by purse turning over or phone going off when husband is near purse and wife is in shower. He will retrieve phone and he will copy numbers down. Then pay online search, marriage will be dissolved for a fling. Then there will be a torn apart household. She shouldn't be straying, with three or four times a week loving. She will so regret being a cheating spouse.

any you still know know the truth in what you paid for. TK U MLJ LV NV

Unless of course it was the Pi on the phone.

Get your money back.

Think it needs a sequel though.

. . . to end the story; Lynn knows how the 'cheat' and Jan does not. Since the evidence, the PIs report, got burned both ladies go free. I think there is an important secondary message in this marital story however. It is quite clear from the way author has told his tale rhat Lynn and Michael have a very good marriage highlighted by a very good and energetic sex life. Lynn also has a much younger, and probably thick dicked, and energetic lover who gives her significant pleasure and happiness. Said lover does not represent a threat to Michael unless he chooses to make it a threat. Paul has come to the same position with Jan and lives with his hidden knowledge. Michael has already decided he will not live with the same type of knowledge so he must remain ignorant.

The question author has posed but not attempted to answer comes out 'Which of the two husbands is better off?' Good story Michael142

Ol' Mike has to do his own investigation longer term, she thinks she's got him pegged and he can nail her ass simply by changing the game. Move social time away from the neighbors for a start, search everything, recorders & bugs strategically placed and last but not least, identify all of her single male "friends" that may need visited.

the twister at the end soured the whole thing for me.

And the PI was lousy to have missed Lynn's cheating.

I hope Mike finds out eventually and burns her.

Unless she was having an affair with the PI.

I think it would made a good flash story, but it developed quite slowly for a simple plot that it was hard to keep interested.

“Sunday night goes about the same, with Lynn finding some excuse to be too ‘indisposed’ for sex.”

Um, what happened to, “Tomorrow night, I promise?”

“I did notice that Lynn, Jan and their partners have disappeared from the dance floor for some minutes, and assume it is to get some air, since the club is rather warm.”

If he’s that stupid he DESERVES to be cheated on!

The young guy that looked familiar? Probably one of the guys from the club.

And I agree with the comment about the narration: Since this was told by Michael in first-person, and he didn't know about Lynn's burn phone conversation, he couldn't tell us.

I liked some of the basic setup and the writing is good.

But I was immediately taken aback when he hired a PI and PI started talking about getting back to him in a few days. That's not nearly enough time for something like this.

A PI needs to be careful in how closely they are observing their subject if they don't want to get caught. A subject that knows they are being watched will just shut it down for awhile, so a good PI knows it's crucial not to get caught observing their subject. Being careful that way means they can't see everything, there will be opportunities for the subject to cheat without the PI seeing it. So maybe the PI will catch half of the cheating wife's trysts. So, what happens if she's getting together with someone other than her husband once or twice a month? Well, it will take the PI a month or two to finally catch her.

And how long did the PI observe Lynn? From Tuesday through Friday! What a joke.

If this were chapter 1 of a long saga, it might be interesting as 'background' to set the stage for the more interesting part of the story. But as it is, this is just a description of how a completely incompetent PI can screw up. That isn't much of a story by itself.

Mike needs to find out, Lynn. Is cheating on him. I hope this is not the end of this story. All he has to do is find her throw away phone. The pi missed on Lynn but he needed more time. A simple recorder in there home and car listing in on jan & Lynn's conversations will open up those doors. If her husband is so good why cheat and take a chance and throw that all away. That needs to be answered in a continuation of this story.

What a total sneaky lying cheating dirty cunt she is. Would love a follow up story where she get caught deep down he knew but is now sidetracked with the report. A second story with her getting caught would be great. How some comments could say that if he doesn't know and she continues to show him the same attention than its better left alone is nuts. All cheaters deserve to get caught and lose a little just like the spouse who also suffers the indignity of feeling inadequate in so many ways. Give us the follow up please

A little dose of consequences would be nice to finish up this story.

to help offset the asshole annony on here.

This was a total let down

This can't be the end of this one. You've got two pretty good parallel stories here, and places to go with them. Don't stop now.

Also the friend should be caught too, and the husbands burn them both! BTW Gave you a 5, for the story! Great ending to I hope was part 1

Good set up and needs more to get a rating. I'm reserving judgement.

What the fuck was that supposed to be???

This story only works if you have the intelligence of a small child because you have to honestly believe that a man can be as stupid as this guy was written to be. I know the whole dumb clueless husband cliché is prominent here but this took that to another level of stupidity.

man i cant stand when authors have someone this fucking stupid. they always have them be an ex marine or an army badass. then they write them as wimp ass pussies. what ex marine lets his wife go off dancing with a younger man then disappear for a while. he even thought they knew each other.this after he thinks she is cheating yet he does nothing. the pi seemed way off to me.the ending was fucking stupid. how did the wife know that the pi told him she wasnt cheating. and dont try the she bribed the pi with sex or money thing because if that was the case why would the pi give him info on her friend. then the friend jan comes on to him. just a big fucking mess.there are soap opera's with more realism than this. either write a second chapter to clear this shit up or stop writing this crap.

Give the jarhead some balls. Plus a stupid PI. Come on Mike finish the Damm story.

MCPO Jim

it'd be nice to have another one where the bitch gets caught though.. 3stars good work

What does it matter that the dumb shit cuckold is a Marine? Maybe the guy fucking his wife is a Ranger? Or better yet, she's fucking a guy from the Taliban, and his camel. Story ends with her riding away with the rag head on the camel, pregnant. Not sure if the kid is the rag's or the camel's.

They are not the smartest characters. No brains, just a big mouth.

she should get her dumb kisser beaten to the curb. She has earned it by working with her stinking cunt.

Pretty Incompetent.

It begs for a sequel.

Or she had a feeling he was suspecting things and the stuff in the report of her telling guys she's married or of her kneeing the guy in the nuts were fake to throw him off.

<P?

That said, if the writer was going to switch POV, either use something to indicate the switch or write in one POV for the entire story.

The pi guy.... what pi you're employing calls you white boy.

because your cock is so small. Your wife is dancing every day since she found a real ma!!! Gave this story a 5

with the "keeping his balls in a jar" and other tidbits along the way. I knew that it would turn out to be Jan who would be the cheater. But the end through us for a loop! And how could a woman, who has a husband like Michael loving her cheat on him. You could continue this on with a Chapter 2, showing how Lynn is actually betraying her husband.

Since you write professionally, I was surprised a the several word mistakes you made. Gave it 4 *'s on the erection meter.

The long set up with "the spouse is the last to know" theme could mean at one point the author intended to make this a several part story. The author used his tag here as the name of the protagonist - which generally is not a good sign, and also could have meant a longer story.

Other than that... the twist at the end is stimulating, but a bit abrupt. That, unfortunately, just makes it chum for the misogynists in the crowd.

Which cheapens the story, even if it raises your scores.

Green-something

For one thing I hate it when cheaters seem to prosper. Not only that, it would seem that either the P.I. was either crooked or just incompetent. Then again it could be that hubby's actions over the course of that week tipped off his wife as to his suspicions, so she prepared in advance for the cover up. Another big problem I have with this story is that its very derivative. There is another story on this site where a husband after reading many stories online about cheating wives suspects that his wife is cheating on him and goes out of his way to catch her. Ultimately his proof is circumstantial and her motives are none, the people around his make him aware that she isn't doing anything to suggest that she would be cheating. At the end he's made an idiot of himself and gives up his investigation, shortly after this his wife answers her phone and tells her lover that "dipshit" is suspicious and that they need to cool it for a while.

So yeah I didn't like that story and I don't much care for this one either. She seems to have a husband who is caring and loving towards her and she is cheating on him for seemingly no reason. If he ever comes back I hope FTDS will pick this story up.

This would be decent as a beginning, but the whole story needs fleshed out. What are her motivations? How long? When do they rendevous? What does the hubby do with the info about Jan? Was the guy Lynn kicked in the nuts the same as the one she is talking to on the phone at the end?

If only there had been a way for the phone call from the young man to be heard by the first-person narrator, it would have been fine. Switching to third person spoiled it for me.

After all, the young man could have been the neighbour's lover asking whether Michael knew about the relationship with Jan. The story built up the doubt well enough in the early stages, then dispelled those doubts. It could have done so a second time.

I thought the story was quite nicely crafted, apart from that one little niggle.

L

The entire story is in the 1st person, except when she hangs up her phone at the end? Did she miss hanging up, and Micheal heard her on her other phone?

Pretty good start. Maybe it will be continued by the author. I would hope so.

for the most part it was a pretty decent story but as another person said the ending killed it. I don't like it when the cheater gets away with it. regardless what the cheating spouse says you don't love or respect your spouse if you cheat on them.

The whole story was great till the end. That ending was horrible . I feel so sorry for michael . I hate stories of adultery! They are the worst! Especially when it's happened to you . It's the most painful thing you can ever experience.

Excellent piece of writing. Well written and a good story. 5 Stars.

The last line changed this story from a 5* story to a -1* story. Please follow up with another chapter where she gets consequences for the contempt and disrespect for her husband.

Without an ending it's worth a single star.

someone call FTDS, and teach this retard how to do it properly

You KNEW Lynn was cheating; the only question was, would Michael find out. What I want to know, is how she did it. Did she bribe the PI?

Part 2 and 3 should be about him catching her redhanded. Then, tell how he got revenge in a btb type story. The wife is definitely a bitch.

Can't wait for the next installment. This has my interest peaked. Nice work

In the forest and no one hears, did it make a sound? If a wife cheats and hubby never finds out, did she really cheat? Yes and yes. She did not marry a man who could live with open marriage or cuckolding. She made the choice then. Henceforth, deception will be her prime behavior. Sad for both.

Sickening because if you know any real cheaters, they are not that bright or talented at hiding their crimes. They are most often arrogant in their demeanor and easy to catch. Most of them are not sociopaths, most of them are losers that cheat to feel powerful and get over on their spouse.

A load of irrelevant details. Almost 'stream of consciousness' with Hubby's wishful thinking and doubts.

Why would Sweetie cut off her Bull just when the PI investigation starts?

What is the point of panties in the neighbors' drain?

Why would neighbor sweetie try to entice Hubby if the duo wants to keep their trysts a secret?

Just a few of the unrealistic things happening in this tale!

2.5 just barely makes 3* but the sex scenes (although odd), are done OK.

This time let him catch her and burn her and her lover. Expose both of them to everyone they know so that both of the sluts have to leave town.

B T F C B !

Why is she trying to dissuade Jan if she is unfaithful herself? Why is her lover asking if Michael knows about them when there is no indication he does? Gaps like these are very irritating.

Lynn should slowly roast over hot coals, as her skin blackened and cracked from the heat. She is the evilest of bitches.

.....story about how he finds out what the PI missed or ignored....maybe he stumbles into some carelessness or confronts his friend with the information and he retorts with details about Lynny's dirty deeds. Or, the burner phone is a ruse...this just doesn't add up. I see the 25 year old as a potential, but she wouldn't be working so hard to dissuade her friend if she was as guilty.....perhaps the PI is part of the conspiracy.....nope it's taken a left turn where there is no path. You broke it, you fix it!

Anything short of that, and you fall right into the cuck zone with the fucking wimpy Brits! Grow a pair and make this right!

Foad

A read,

I guess Lynn has bought out P1. Thou he is not admitting that the time is too short to give Mike a full report....this is not the end thou !!!!!

I had it at a 5 the whole way till your last few sentences... Ended it too soon

Dude,

He's a Marine! You need more than you know to make it right. I'll wait.

This story is far from complete. I hope there is a chapter 2 or 3.

No inteligent husband would ignor all the clues, dont i know that guy? Nrver checks pocketbook for clues,or another phone? PI doesn't use listening devices?

and end up killing their wives and children.

Hope he slices her cunt open on the butcher block in the sequel and gets away with it by leaving the country.

I agree with a lot of the reviewers here. This story tried to move much to fast over the time frame. The ending is rubbish if it doesn't have a follow up chapter, how did she know she was being watched and the P.I. should surely have used better surveillance eqpt. I hate to see a cheater get away with it, she is just using him as "Milch Cow". I like to see the cheaters caught and punished but also enjoy some reconciliation where appropriate - if you need inspiration to finish this off just read some of Slirpuff's excellent stories, either that or get FTDS to put one of his brilliant endings to it. Then again how do we know that you are not a woman writing with this crappy ending.

She deserves one of those blindsiding that are always killing people in the LW section.

I have to admit it was well done accept for the impossible phone call at the end..

amazing how four lousy sentences can ruin an otherwise great story. I hope this is a teaser for a future writing which explains the writer's attempt to deceive his audience. otherwise this story was just written to be ruined. i would have difficulty in finding the motivation to read other writings by this author, assuming I will cheated at the end.

Always a downer to have to hope that the wife isn't that devious.

I would've appreciated an indication if this was a one part or two parts story, but I'll take what I got, which left us hanging.

Thank you for your sharing your story with us.

Brujay

I hope there is a part 2.

the story ends on a heartbreaking cliffhanger.

she is cheating on him and intentionally destroying her childrens lives

…of a story is an acceptable strategy used by professional writers. Sure, J.D. Salinger told the story in “The Catcher in the Rye” from Holden Caulfield’s point of view throughout the entire novel. However, Alice Munroe used the ‘third person omniscient’ point of view in her novel “Labor Day Dinner,” changing between the viewpoints of numerous characters. Charles Baxter uses the ‘third person limited’ viewpoint with switches between two specific characters’ viewpoints, a husband and a wife.

I could have switched to Jan’s viewpoint in Michael’s visit to her to fix her drain, and to Lynn’s viewpoint prior to the ending. Admittedly, changing focus is a tricky business, but not unheard of. I switched to the third person omniscient point of view at the very end, in which a third person knows the minds of all characters.

My intent was to provide a surprise ending with as little fanfare as possible, and without causing confusion by switching often. I would have been happier with a lively discussion about whether she knew she was under surveillance, or not. Was her ‘loving’ behavior to Michael prior to the end to throw him off the track? Let’s just say that not everything needs to be spelled out in a story, or tied up in a cute little bow.

You might have even have discussed the length of her infidelity, and the how and why of it. If this were a 300-page novel, you could expect to be told everything, but this is only three pages … a ‘thumbnail’ story if you will.

This is a well-written story as it is, and writing a follow-up chapter might necessarily have some changes in point of view of the characters. Michael could become suspicious again, and catch his lovely wife ‘in flagrante delicto’ (caught in the act) himself or by the PI. The PI did his job in this story, but was limited in his investigation by Michael himself, wanting quick results.

Michael shows himself to be a strong and decisive person in this story. I made him an ex-Marine … my own grandson is a Marine! He will not let his wife take advantage of him as Paul does, but is loath to disrupt his family unnecessarily. He is a hard worker, a faithful husband, and a good father.

Stories have twists at the end sometimes. Most times they are done very well, so if mine is a bit clumsy, I will get better with practice. There are no surprise ending in historical writing … we know what happened.

My thanks to all for your comments.

Michael142

it is a great read. but it needs and ending to it

was the PI in on it that he gave that one report

that cleared his wife

it is going to be hard on Michael

and when he finds out . he kicks her to the curb

I found the character of Lynn to be arrogant--I can't be caught, I can pull the wool over his eyes and get away with it. Her behavior with Jen made Michael suspicious enough to have her investigated--albeit by an incompetent fool. I seriously doubt she will get away with it forever. Sooner or later, Michael's suspicion radar will go off again and when it does, Lynn will be toast! I want to read the rest of the story.

“Actually, he has already answered my question.” – I know it will probably make it harder to catch her, but maybe he should tell Paul to tell Jan that he knows SOMETHING is going on, and it better stop before he finds out what it is or it will be very bad.

Why does he think that he has nothing to worry about since Jan and Lynn are together? It’s obvious that they are in on whatever is going on, so Jan is not likely to be a deterrent to Lynn! And he sort of contradicts himself with his thoughts when they disappear. First, he’s not worried, they’re probably just getting some air, but then he doesn’t bother to check on them because he sees the PI watching them.

I understand it’s going to be a few days for the full report, but couldn’t the PI call him and let him know what happened outside the club?

I can’t believe he wouldn’t recognize the guy from the club! Assuming it is, of course!

Jan was obviously coming on to him to give Lynn ammunition in case he ever finds out about what she’s been doing.

It is NOT a positive that the report is ready early! That only means that there is already something to report! If he had nothing, he would want to wait the extra couple of days to see if he could get something.

If Lynn ISN’T cheating, why did Paul say that Mike wouldn’t want to know the answers?

I don't know if I mentioned it in my earlier comment, but I agree with those who say the ending comment on the burner phone shouldn't be there if Mike is telling the story!

I was liking Lynn and now hate her fucking guts...

Deception and betrayal prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she does NOT love Michael despite her phony protestations.

Well written and I will read more of your stuff but I still hate Lynn's fucking guts.

Good start. The flot pickens!! Cheers!

Michael needs to dig a ditch and bury the bitch!

But I find it difficult to believe he would be okay with that report. It's for too short a period of time and now that he KNOWS the neighbor is cheating and that his wife knows, he should still be suspicious. A phone tap and a tap on her cell phone would be far cheaper than the PI and provide a lot more information. Please don't let him be this stupid.

. . . ending in nothing. Cut out the 'how wonderful is my wife' stuff, reduce it to one page and it could have been half decent. But it wasn't !

She was acting too guilty for her not to be involved with someone. Paul definitely knows something but it involves Jan, so he refuses to tell. The young familiar man at the house is the key. Why burn up the file the PI uncovered?

the most BEYUTIFULL WOMEN in the world exist. all theses flunky cuck writers married miss universe and she cucks the crap out of em.

1 star, couldnot get past the 1st 1/2 page.

probly a wimp who deserves to be cucked/shit on

former marine, current cucky, writer.

as said before,,,,one (1) page is sufficient for this worth less than 1 star of a cucky wimpy story

no story just start

sexcellent!

All women are sluts.

cuck shit.

Just another heartless Cunt wife and a clueless loser husband story. There aren't even any odds that the Cunt is fucking the PI which she is. How stupid. At this point the Cunt and PI both need to die a horrible grotesque death. Now that would be very satisfying. Oh and Mike needs to fuck that slut Jan just for shits and giggles.

Why would he be satisfied with one weeks surveillance? He knows Jan is cheating. Her attempt to get him involved should have set off all kinds of warning bells about what's really going on with the two women. I don't think any husband would have relaxed after that report. So this ending seemed forced and wrong on so many levels that I had to laugh. I think he goes home, puts recorders on the home phone and gets a tech guy to clone his wife's phone. After all if he can afford a PI, he can afford a recorder and a clone. Within 2 weeks he has all he needs to divorce his wife and get full custody of their kids. Badly done, especially the ending.

another cocksucking wimp posting dumb cuck SHIT.

Your negative remarks make you look as stupid as your comments. Literotica has redefined the meaning of this category to include cheating wives. Get real.

Nothing like an "ex-marine" pussy-whipped, "in denial", afraid of confrontation to make for a real fucked up story!

Yes, it is in the description of these types of stories. Maybe they should have it read Loving? Wives, to eliminate confusion.

What fucking garbage. A good story right up to the end. I hate it when Cheaters win.

When his wife was dancing with the young guy the first time He should have said something and not have sex with until he gets the report.

With this sudden twist at the end, there are too many questions left open. Why did she not want to make love for 2 nights, when she put him on a promise for the second night? Who was the guy, clearly not her lover, she kneed in the nuts? Who was the lover that was ringing her, because for the twist to work it needs to be someone Mike knows who has already been discounted? Who was the man being shown around the open house that Lynn checked on, as Mike recognised him from somewhere and remarked on the guy's reaction to him, but this was not followed through? Was Jan's attempted seduction part of Lynn's plan? What happened to Lynn's knickers in the club, as I would have thpught a suspicious husband would have searched her purse for them when he couldn’t sleep? We’re the panties surrendered to her lover that night or was the "kneeing" incident because her lover spotted the PI? This really needs a follow-up chapter to sort out.

Good story and a great twist at the end. Burn the bitch, but I guess that will come later.

Really needs to help out the poor dumb cuck that wrote this and "cry hacoc and release the dogs or war ,vengence and justice on Lynn. PS no visitztion and sole custody for Michael.

Funny, you had me going the whole time and it looked like a good loving wife. But in the end, the story went dark.