by kromen
You have talent: it has a good story line (walking wounded re-learning to risk), character development, and good imagery. I'm surprised it isn't rated higher (4,49). BelleJ2009
That was fantastic - your pacing was perfect, building, cressendo... WOW!!
Wonderful story! The pacing was just perfect, had me breathing faster and faster as it raced to the climax. Your description of the lady was great--just enough info, not dwelling on any of it long enough to slow down the story. Very clever matching of the two characters--one hates to be seen naked, the other hates to put clothes on.
I had such a vivid picture of the scene and the action that it was almost like a video; you seemed to be playing with my mind, providing just enough info so you'd tease me into filling in the rest.
I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing it with me.
Loved the buildup, and the way you moved smoothly between the texting convo and the description of what's happening. Very nicely done. More chapters please!
The buildup, the description, the touch of humor! A true talent!!!
This is one of the best stories I have read on Lit in a very long time. I loved every bit of it. Even with very little "buildup" of the tension, it was great. You paint great pictures with your words - and it was fun to read.
One note: The paragraph that begins with, "After some trepidation," looks like it is missing part of a sentence or more. You might want to check that.
Loved it! Could imagine every scene.
Lets have more of this, see how the relationship develops...
You definitely have the idea down. I love that scenario. It definitely works. Keep going. I have a friend I would love to see do what you just described.