All Comments on 'My Niece Suzy'

How old is she?

The story is lost due to the pure garbage writing which shows a lack of basic education. What's with all the the "word...word" use makes it so hard to read and causes eye strain even to attempt in spots.

annony is just a sick insane old fat fag. He hates everything.

>> "Can I come?" Suzy, my 18-year-old niece, asked.

I thought the story was HOT as FUCK!

Good stuff mate! I found it pretty hot.

Amazing...

That was almost perfect. Now I'll have to read some of your other work if this one was as good as that. Well done!

I loved your story.

However, you could do with getting someone to check it over before submission next time.

You slipped into a ...few...little...errors.

You put:

"Yes. Oh yes, Uncle Jay. Suck my tittie" when it should have been "titty".

"Her already taunt pussy began to tighten even more" - "Her already taut pussy began to tighten even more"

You have an obsession with using the word "beautiful" to the point where you either missed something out, or you used it instead of "beauty" - "Gazing down I was struck by her beautiful as she lay there"

Synonyms are wonderful things.

Hopefully you'll take this as "constructive criticism" - as none of it's complaints, more observations.

Regards

Gwynd@PS

I want to read more about them

... what was his name again? Oh yeah Jay! (Insert sarcasm here) LoL

Overall it's awesome erotic writing, I do hope tho, as I continue to peruse your library, that you get more creative with your sexual verbiage. You write some seriously hit scenes that could really sizzle with a more varied verbiage. On to the next story! Thank you.

It's been somd time since you wrote this. Love it.

Yeah, there's some grammar improvement possible but it didn't bother me. I enjoyed it all and hope to read a little follow up of this exciting tale.

Would’ve better without all the spaces and repeating of the same words. Couldn’t wait until the end I just skimmed to the end. Study more and get help