All Comments on 'My Rape'

Second person voice is rarely a strong choice. Readers prefer first or third person. We can experience your story by either being a voyeur or imagining ourself within it, but the choice is ours. Men won't relate and many women don't have rape fantasies. Give us the distance of pov. Draw us in with the quality of the story.

(You slipped in a me instead of he early on.)

Given how strongly he played (?) the rough rapist through the encount, I would have preferred more than the two short sentences at the end to counter it. Many of us really like aftercare being shown and it doesn't deminish the intensity of what came before. Something like this begs for it. Written porn has a large female audience. Feed our emotions as well as our loins.

Thanks for the story.

You asked that comments be nice which is difficult given this violent rape scene. You desperately need an editor. Too many grammatical errors that really got in the way of your narrative. The second person voice didn't work for me either. It puts too much distance between reader and protagonist. Mostly though, you failed to give us a way to emotionally bond with the victim. At best, I was glad the damn thing was short and over quickly. One star is better than this story earned.

A few more commas wouldn't go amiss.

I wish you were my master