by moboulion
I liked the idea behind the story, both spouses being controlled by an other person and made to perform in front of each other. It's very erotic and a favorite theme of mine. No, the spelling and grammar aren't perfect but that's easy to overlook in the face of the great story.
I hope this author does a continuation of this story. It's worth yest another chapter or two and perhaps a good editor would be a good idea. I gave it a '5' because it was a great story line, and that in my mind is better than a poor story idea written with perfect spelling and grammar.
Good for you. and than you for sharing it, please please continue.
But the story is a little dead, the way it's written is almost in a monotone. Would be better if there were actual dialog and mentioning more of how the participants felt, what they were thinking etc.
I really like the concept and the dynamic. I’d love to see you pick it back up and focus in on the emotions and reactions of Bobbie and Mo to their predicament.