by Calvin427
Thanks, Calvin427, the story is entertaining; interesting theme cleverly woven, and a few interesting twists and hints of possible plot deviations.hints of possible plot deviations.hints of possible plot deviations.<BR><BR>
A couple of suggestions: 1) Adjust your writing so it doesn't seem so detached and analytical. 2) Get an editor to help remove parts that don't add anything to the story. (And the editor can help with #1 too.)
I have read several of prior submissions - and this was not up to that standard. Maybe better than most - but not up to excellent of your prior submissions.
Die,Nancy,Die! And be sure that the cuck dies with you!
Sick people!