All Comments on 'Naked Tease'

I liked the writing which was,IMO, a fairly creative recital of an often told tale. What is lacking is originality, the 'black stud personal trainer' is a plot line that can be found here on any given day.

What's good? I liked the scene where she whispers in his ear - he can't see - as her friend plays with her. Original? No. Realistic? No. I wrote a similar scene about the back seat of a taxi, with the taxi driver adjusting the rear view mirror, as I gave head to my lawyer friend Louie.

BTW, a very fun memory!

What else? The dialogue needs attachments. Such as 'he said' 'she said' 'I said'. The reader can't follow. Most often, dialogue exchanges are just that, exchanges. Someone says something, someone else responds. In this tale, the same person makes repeated statements - or so I thought - that were not exchanges of dialogue. When writing this, all the connected statements from the same individual should be placed in 1 paragraph, not separate paragraphs, as written here.

A simple rule is to write, and rewrite, at least 5 times.

Good luck with future efforts.

Lets get one person to write the basic story leaving the names blank and have soemone good proof it. Then any time someone has to write the 698th version of the story they can just call up the story put in thier set of names then post it. (You did forget the part about the 18" black dick.)

Don't pay attention to those improvement comments the sicko humiliation freaks love you just the scum sucking pathetic cock watching way you are.

You did jack off didn't you? Well in the story too? Maybe she said you couldn't until next time when she fucks him. The problem with that is it may have to be filmed as you won't be there.

Why do some new writers start off with the most subhuman theme possible - a husband pimping out his wife to watch big cocks - how gross is that fantasy - Do the children get to watch mommy or just the film at 11?

Get some help little sick one - use your talent for more than the few pathetic humiliation freaks or move it to FETISH with Pissing and the other below human convention crap. What a waste !

When you get into cuckold/hot wife stories there are only a few ways to develop the story. The devil is in the detailed descriptions.

This author is pretty good at keeping the interest flowing and growing---bringing the reader more and more into the story. The greatest part was her practically worshiping the cuckold maker's equipment. I could almost feel it, and could endure along with her the constant probing of his tool deeper and more intensively up her inards. It's almost becoming a female oneself.

I'd like to see the guy become a classical cuckold in future stories. He definitely has the capability.

Lap it up!

and thenconvincing her to take a man, and a black one at that. Then she humps him in public an dyou sit tere while she sucks his cock. Jesus Christ what the fuck is wrong with you, both ofyou??? You know someone should kick your asses. You are both a disgrae to the white race. That black man is still lauhing at you both. You're a sad excuse for a mna and your wife, well your wife is nothing but a whore a black cuck sucking whore. I bet you even liked the taste of his cum on your lips. Soon she'll be fucking him and his black friends and you will be a cuck. Good luck with that you sick fuck. Sad sad marriage and even more sader people in this one.

I know how hard good writing can be. You've done an excellent job. Thank you

My only comment is "Fuck You" to the asshole that posted this crap. I only had to read the first few paragraphs to know how useless you are and how shitty the story was going to be.

Please ignore all these negative comments. Great story well told, a nice long tease.

Your story is wonderful and so HOT! I really liked it. What a nice game they played! Write some more...

very good story............or was it?? please write more.

I lost my breath, my heart skipped a beat, my stomach got queasy, and my dick began to throb! My beautiful, sweet, innocent wife had just kissed a black stranger NOW tis is a picture of the typical little dicked wimp husband from Literotica, Oh did he eat the guy's cum from her. The wife sure missed a good chance to humiliate the wimp...oh that's right he wouldn't have been humiliated...he would have to have some testicles for that. this wimp had none and his wife's a whore that is tired of his little dickie...

REALLY well written. Pace, tension and eroticism were near-perfect. The wife's description of the back seat tryst was simply incredible. Really a shame that with your abilities, this was your only submission

You whities are so sad...you all have the greatest woman in the

world..the first black dick she sees and you lose your mind and

she becomes his pussy.

His wife most likely dumped him for her new plaything. You play with fire and you get burned. He's probably still paying alimony and living in a shit apartment cuz she got the house.

Same ole same ole with the limp dick white husband watching his "hot" wife with a big thug nigger. Disgusting and no way a decent wife would suck a black cock in front of her husband. It would be over for all normal people that second!

Another sicko author!

I think your critics are jealous and racist, and should be grateful that you left the encounter at the point you did. This story could have easily become a "white slut becomes BBC addicted and throws hubby away" or cuckolds him over and over and over.......

why so many 16 year old assholes jacking off in their bedroom in their mommies houses read the story if they found they weren't going to like it. The kicker is, instead of finding another story more to their liking, they wasted the time racking their pathetic little brains to come up with some degrading criticism. You morons do realize that this is fiction, right?

Rules and limits go right out the door when the heat rises!

Looking forward to more!

Another insecure cuck who doesn't know what the fuck is what and a whore wife! I give the marriage another 4 months.....

I don't understand the fascination of white men with a black cock. It's as if. But I know better. My late wife had my permission to go out with whomever by herself. Well this went on for over 35 years in that time she bedded three blacks and she would come back to my seven year old much to finish her off. She looked but never found that mythical 10 inch I told her that you only saw those on mags or movies just like you see 10 inch white cock In movies but not in real life anyways good luck with your black cock hope you enjoy it. In the mean time keep up the good work. Totally enjoyed your writing except when you had to cheat with a black man.

Shortly after we married , I went to a strip club with some friends after work A friend drove me home and when we got there I asked him in for another drink. When we got in and sat on the chesterfield having a drink my wife asked where we had been. My friend said"The strip bar". My bride was pissed and said a married guy should not have gone there. Not wanting to look whipped I said "It is only nudity". She said "Oh so it would be Ok for me to see naked men or strip?? ". Knowing she was never would I replied" Yeah no big deal " She shot back "Really so you would be ok with me stripping right now for Ted". Knowing she never would I smartly answered SURE. She got an angry look on her face and said" We'll see". She moved to the centre of the room , started to sway and turned to face Ted. She slowly unbutton her jeans and slid them down and off. There she stood in a white bikini panties and a T shirt. She said"So is it ok for married people ,admit you should not have gone" I knew she was at her limit ,wiuld never do more and wanted me to admit I ws wrong , so to not look wimpy I said " It was no big deal. ". She then shocked the hell out of me by reaching down and pulling her Tshirt over her head revealingly her braless 34B s to us. She then continued to sway and pulling on her erect nipples. She looked at me with anger then looked Ted staight in the eyes and pulled her panties off. Ted was transfixed on taking in every detail off her body. He said Wow you are so hot and really a natural blonde. She was on a mad rampage and her erect nipples told me horny so danced in front of him. She then turned , spread her legs and bent over at the waist giving him from behind an up close look at her open pussy. I knew he would be seeing her wet pink hole and little clit poking its head out. She then stuck her hand between her legs, opened her small lips and inserted a finger. She stood up glared at me and went to the bedroom slamming the door. Ted left smiling and I slept on the chesterfield. I was on a state of shock, mad that Ted saw every detail of my brides naked body and at the same time turned on.

By the next day Ted had told the other guys every detail about her hot 19 year old body.

So the couple continue to talk about the black lovet while they fuck. Accidentally they find that they are both excited about pregnancy risk sex with her black lover. Several dedicated adventures result.

In part 2 she can swallow his load and get barebacked in 3 positions. She gets knocked up and the Cuck has to raise little Tyrone who is blacker than the ace of spades.

Great tease! I loved it. A story where everybody gets what they want and goes away happy.

That was the best teasing story ever!!!!! Will you have more of this?

You had whore wife in tags, but you left out Jamal and cuckold.

What a great teasing story.