All Comments on 'Natalia and Her Wolf'

i love this story, i must say though that it seemed to lack some of the details the other version had. i want you to keep going though! very realistic feelings from nat about the whole thing. loved it

Story has potential but I really can't stand the bitch (Natalia)

Its great that you have come back to this story. Don't get discouraged by other peoples negative comments keep writing and yes real life does happen so don't worry.

I love bot versions of the story but i want more whether it is this one or the other version

It's interesting so far. There are a few grammar and spelling errors, nothing too serious, but they do detract slightly from the story. I think the idea you have is lovely, and I hate that something as minor as that can take away from it. But please, do keep going. I find it very interesting, and I want to know what will happen next!

I luv the fact that Natalia isn't lik every other character and automatically just mate with a werewolf because they say you're suppose to. I know eventually she will end up with him it's nice to see someone with some actual balls to stand up for her individual self. Amazing!!!!

Its a good story keep going

I figure when she was attacked as a child that it wasn't a dog but a wolf and that she has already got a wolf in her that won't awaken until she recognises him as her true mate!

i bet she will do it doggie style lol

Well I have to be honest and say that it sounded a bit childish. But if you are a young writer it's expected and you do have potential. I liked your story flow so keep writing.

Why is she always so angry? I can understand her being angry with her mom but she has this attitude from the beginning of the story. Eric has been nothing but nice to her and she treats him bad after she finds out he is a werewolf. I don't like her personality right now. She need to slow down and get herself mentally together.

runs much smoother now. better reading. it's true it has a yound flavor to it, but its still a mature version of that youth so go on with your story. love her personality. feels like a modern version of what a werewolf encounter today would be like. cool touch.

A well written story that has only one small blimish, multiple spelling/ wrong word/missing words/agreement errors. Writers often stop seeing their errors after working a piece for a while. A good editor could put the final polish on this wonderful story.

This story was good but an editor would help u a lot. The biggest issue for me was the jerky ness at the beging. It felt like there was more there could have been add story wise to make the flow better. Also think there was to much in this chapter should have been broken up

I'm really enjoying your fresh new approach to one of my favorite genres. One thing I did note though was her constant reference to the brand and price of clothing. It does make her appear somewhat shallow to me, which is cool if that is what you intended. She has enough other aspects to her personality that I still like her a lot. I'm off to read the rest of the chapters now, because your story is a bit addictive.

"I knew a lot about werewolves. I watched Twilight and I read Literotica all the time." Best line ever!!

She's a B-cup, and is 'as flat-chested as they come?'

LOL. That was a sweet joke.

I think one thing that draws from the story is that you tend to skip around and don't have any sort of time/place break in the story. In one paragraph she is doing one thing and in the next she is totally in a different location and doing something different. Sort of distracting.

When Nat wakes from her coma before speaking to anyone, how does she know she has been in a coma for three days?

It is more likely a nurse not a do for would be in her room when she awakens.

With an iv in her arm there is no need for a shot in here arm.

Lastly Nat asks "are you trying to tell me you are a werewolf?" He didn't start up any sort of conversation about the matter. Maybe she could say " I take it you are a werewolf"

Ok. I feel like I like the idea, but I feel like there should be more characterization and plot development. It should be more organized too. Grammar and vocab needs work too... I feel like, it's rushed and what is with the perpetual bad attitude? Like, I just don't get why she's always mad.

OK so it fills some gaps now on to rest

First of all, get an editor because you are missing entire words, one letter in a word (A LOT) messing up the flow of the story, you have your main character saying stuff that makes absolutely no sense (she calls herself a ho and says anyone knows she'll never have a relationship/love like that, why? Does this bitch has leprosy?) and did I mention an editor? FYI: Captain Save-A-Ho refers to a male who's always trying to save (GUESS WHO?) hos! Not good girls, not polite girls, not virgins but WHORES! Stop using sayings and you don't know what the heck they mean!