All Comments on 'Natalie, a Coed Story Ch. 05'

In one section you seem to be very concerned about STD'S. In another section you permit sucking on a dick that is loaded with germs after being inserted in you anus.

Your message should be clear. You will get sevearly sick.

Yes but part of what I was trying to show was the absolute revulsion of the act of ATM. That wouldn't have worked if he had showered and stroked himself with hand sanitizer.

I really like the way you tell your story otherwise I would not have read 5 chapters. That said, it's really distracting when you use you're when you mean your, course when it should be coarse, slide for slid and bless for blessed. Also, overpowering is one word not two. I think a careful proof-reading would take care of most of these and other errors that slow and distract your readers.

Thank you. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

See? I can use "you're" correctly if I have to. :D Thanks for the critique. My typing is sometimes atrocious. Also I can't spell. I would say it is getting better, but it probably isn't. Maybe I should just give up.

NO. Story should not have anything that involves revulsion. It's, well, it's revolting.

YES. The mild language problems, such as homonym (words spelled or sound alike, such as your, you're, yore; to, too, two) mistakes and grammar issues were hardly noticed. Sometimes a tick interruption, but I just read on. It's not that I'm a dummy -- I have 8 years education past high school. You're plenty good enough for amateur. You don't have those high-paid professional editors a publishing house might furnish.

Thanks for the freebies.

Paul in Oklahoma