by AddToWater
Well done. Excellent character development. Good pacing in the story. The attention to detail, down to the smallest item, made this a delightful read.
Thanks for writing this original story, good length and plot with Strong character development makes it a winner. 5 star vote. Please keep up your great work
You are a truly gifted writer I look forward to reading your novel , I hope you are allready writing it.
the only place for stories over three or four pages is the NOVELS area not here. delete and break it up into three chapters THEN it might be worth reading.
Don't pay any mind to the other guy that said to take it down and repost it in three chapters I liked it righ were you put it
Bastard Lol, u had me up till four a.m. laughing, crying, horny, cumming, laughing again. My wife wondering wtf im reading Lil. Thank you, you're a gem in the crown of authors anywhere! Andrew xo
This is, by far, one of the most unique yet possibly believable situations in which a brother and sister could find themselves in. He obviously loves and cares for her enough to drop what he's doing, fly 10000 miles, listen to her pleas then support and help her complete her project. He respects her enough to go along with what she needs, all be it reluctantly at times, to help her learn about this tribes marital customs. Even at the end of the ritual, the time spent with each other, learning the ways of these natives, awoke in them their deep abiding love and devotion to each other. This enabled them to take that final step, shattering conventional rules of society and committing themselves to each other for life. It was a beautiful story, well developed and emotionally charged. As you stated in your preamble, you wished to create more believable, three dimensional characters and I say to you, Well Done!!, Mission Accomplished.
Despite a few glitches - bazaar for bizarre, firs for furs - this earned a rare five from me. Outstanding. Thank you.
Rarely give five stars except to the best of stories and yours was great (even if it took me hours to read it)
A very loving story, the brother goes to her out of love and her need for help, lust soon grows into love.
I don't usually write comments, but this story was so well written that I didn't want it to end. Plus you'd obviously proof read it as the usual grammatical errors were none existent. Another plus! So many writers are too lazy to do the needed proofing. Thanks for the GREAT read! Please do another SOON!
This is THE best story I've ever read on this site. Period! Incredibly sexy with believable dialogue. This should be made into a movie. That's how good it is.
I would read this even if its 20pages long, so fuck that '10pages should be in novella' guy! So fucking hot and none of that gangbang shit, you should write more sibcest, very unique and given the circumstances, it could happen. I'm going to read your other stories. Just wanna know more about Cal, was he blond too, scruffy, how tall was he? Blue, green or brown eyes? Please tell! and please write more sibcest like this.
Best story ive read on this site. Everything about it is perfect. A hall of fame must!!
... my sometime English Language student eye was rather jarred by the 'fir' instead of 'fur', 'bore' instead of 'boar', and especially 'taught' instead of 'taut', and no doubt others that I missed. Of course, a spell-checker would miss them, unfortunately, as they're perfectly valid words. Just the wrong ones. I have to admit there are a few bores I wouldn't mind seeing shot!
Never mind, as I said it was a thoroughly enjoyable read, but I think you need to consider at least a beta-reader if not an editor. Please keep writing.
Alex
This story was simply wonderful. Absolutely the finest on this site anywhere
Other than the misused homophones, I enjoyed the story immensely. I also agree with the others who say you should ignore the poster complaining about story length. In fact, if anyone else enjoyed this story, they should also check out Manhood Rite by fictitous, another ten page story posted in the Incest/Taboo category.
Many thanks,
Elric_Malbourne
I absolutely loved this story. I so much appreciate stories that have substance and a plot line and not simply sex, sex, sex. Great writing. Can't wait for another one.
Absolutely one of the best stories on this website , HALL OF FAME worthy in my opinion
Absolutely the best story I have ever read.......Congrats to AddToWater for a great lterary piece......
This is a general statement to the many of you who have taken the time to write comments on this story: THANK YOU! You are all extremely kind and generous with your feedback. I even welcome the constructive and/or negative comments. Everyone is welcome to their opinion, and I am of course at full fault with some of my little type-o's. Just know that I appreciate any and all readers of my humble little stories. And I promise to submit more stories as time marches on!
--ATW
I agree with all of the other positive comments. There are very few incest stories that come even close to plausible. While your setup is a little bit of a stretch it certainly does better than almost any other I've read; and once the ship has been launched it sails on smoothly towards its inevitable destination.
Good work.
Oh, and don't sweat the homophones. Since spell check replaced proof-readers, I've been finding them more and more in professionally published works. Yours are few and far between, and though they do stick in my teeth a little the value of your story far outweighed any slight irritation.
I agree with all the comments above, bar one, of course.
When Cal learned that their wedding celebration would happen so soon, I had to wonder if had already been planned, but her assistant, John, had chickened out.
The same scenario with him, however, would have been humdrum.
This was so much better. Thank you!
absolutely makes me want to cry . altho sis did not get pregnant and we were not in the jungle we did not stay together because of family... It was a bad decision that is still impacting us . She has been married 5 times to my 3 and neither are happy that we (WE) are not living together. we talk on the phone every day or 2
Since, it seems, the ceremony had already been scheduled, would John have become her mate if he had not been bitten?
Secret identity? how can that be if she is to finish her Dissertation and make use of her Ph.D.?
Secret? What secret?
the wanna be Navy Seal references. Even you said he didn't complete his first week of training. yet over and over and over again. . . .
A person has a right to be bitter about blowing out his knee just TWO days before completion of Navy Seals training. And what's with the bitten reference? This was not a werewolf or vampire story.
If you're going to comment about a story, make sure you get the details correct. Ijs! Idiot.
~Lydia L.
This is a really great story. Yes, I do see some minor inconsistencies in the story line. What would have happened if John had not been sickened, would she have gone on with the marriage ceremony and what would that say about her love for her brother? As to his washing out during HellWeek, that is the whole point. To break anyone who physically, mentally, or psychologically can't make it being culled out of the ranks before they are relied upon. That isn't to say these men aren't gifted and tough. If a man can say he made it to Hell Week, he doesn't need to feel he has to prove anything to anyone ever again. But, I digress. Regardless of minor flaws,as all fictional tales have, this is really good. It actually flows more smoothly than most true autobiographys flow, because real life is messy and changeable. I don't really have any suggestions for you. She decieved her brother pretty badly and in the beginning, for her own carreer goals as she could not have forseen the insect bite. Unless she planted the spider her own self! Keep up the good work, but I'm glad I don't have a sister that can lie that well. I truly love my sis, but she can be hard to handle when she is being really honest.
Dude i came like 3x! Write more brosis stories, this is fucking hot! I'm an outdoor guy too but an only child. Write a story about big bro with 5,6 baby sisters trapped in a remote jungle or a planet and started their own tribe, colony or whatever, would be hot coming from you, just saying.
This ,I believe, the hottest, most erotic story I have ever read. The sex in it is exceptional, and the character development outstanding. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors, seem like a lot of others feel the same way.
WELL DONE !!
Thanks,
Sam
When the outcome is obvious from the outset, dragging their actual penetration out that long was a bit much. It started to become very repetitive reading about her magnificent tits in nearly identical phrases so many times. This is where an editor will help you out, plus catch those awful mixed up homophones. Wary not weary and bear not bare is what you meant. The others have been mentioned already.
I'm also unclear about the part regarding fake identities and how it's meant to work when she'd need to retain her education credentials. Oh well, far from perfect but still readable. Thanks.
I'm not going to waste time writing a paragraph. The epilogue was very satisfying as happy endings in this "topic" is a necessity.
I can see a lot of success if you continue this story, but the ending was well-written enough that it isn't necessary but surely make readers happy.
The story, the scenes, the coincidences, the authorship, the characters, the speed, the layout everything in short was Perfect.
First comment i've ever made, great story and thanks for the read!
I agree with another reader that was one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. thank you
What a wonderful moving story of true love and affection. Well written and kept me relied to the story. Thank you so much.
A genuinely captivating tale of sibcest from start to finish; packed full of humour, sensuality and most of all love. From the first tease of sex with the client, through the embarrasment of the first sibling nudity, the realisation of the need for pretence prior to their first marriage night, the growth of desire and need to fulfil each other on the second marriage night to the admittedly obvious but none the less delightfully sensual and romantic coupling on their third marriage night, the sexual tension was built up gradually and carefully until it exploded with joyful release!
This is a wonderfully crafted, brilliantly paced story of the growing realisation of sibling love that had me mezmerised from the start and I only wished it could have carried on and on. The characters, setting and most of all plot line that brought them together were inspired and the descriptive prose to place them there was at times sublime. Without doubt one of the best stories on this site or any other I would wager and if it were not for the predjustice of society then this would surley be taken up as a plot for a romantic movie, such is it's undoubted quality. A massive thank you to the author for this tale of Cal & Tara, it is a joy and delight all the way through!
I agree with all the positive comments about this story. Amazing!!!!
This is amazing. Easily one of my favorites. A few errors but overall well written.
Very well written, classy, non demeaning, clean and erotic, truly great.....
One of the best incest stories i have ever read.
Native Sister,is far the best story I have read Just Beautifully done
One of the best incest novels of all time!
Keep up the good work.
That was superbly done, a nice slow burn with the emotion all the way through. I love romance stories the best and you delivered in spades.
Wow, what an awesome love story!
Author please show us all more of your brilliant imagination!!!
A little long but had my attention the entire time...very well done!!!!
This is one of the best stories I have read in a long time. keep up the good work.
Came for the sex, stayed for the story. I enjoyed this story a LOT. I love nudism, and the idea of incest, impregnation, this story was just perfect. I'm not into the whole piss fetish thing, but who cares? It was just a great story, cant complain. You should get paid for these stories, LOL
One of the best stories of its kind. I think you found a good reason why a couple would become lovers. It must be a massive step emotionally, societally, etc but your story found a good way. Instant fave.
This was actually a really good story! Towards the end i was fully invested in it. I've never read one of these stories that were this good. 5 out of 5 for sure!
Simple this wad the best story I have read so far I shal re read again soon
Definitely one of the most unique stories that ive read in a while, very enjoyable!
When I saw 11 pages I was reluctant to even start reading it, but decided to read one page.
If it wasn't for the quick fuck on the first page, I would have stopped at that.
But the story was so unique I kept going. Glad I continued !
Write more please.
loved the content, the pace wasnt too slow for its length. absolutely loved the sex. the ending was a bit abrupt, but over all i loved it...
I just have to say that was one of the best written stories I have read on here. Keep writing for the sake of good publications.
An excellent story, quite impressive. One could sense the feeling developing between the siblings, but you brought it along at just the right pace. Well played.
My wife and I loved your story and would like to find a tribe to live with now.
And then there was this one line:
"Tara was in orgasm."
Fucking nailed it mate. Great effort. Thank you.
I wonder if you wrote this with any particular place or tribe in mind. When I was younger I dabbled in semi-professional photography. In other words, while I got paid, I didn't quit my 'day job'. I thought wishfully about traveling to some exotic place and photo-journal a place and people who'd never been visited or photographed. As I'm sure many young photographers do. But, alas, I didn't have a grant. As my beautiful cousin accompanied me on many of my treks for recording sometimes nature in picture and sometimes soldiers, the scenario of taking her with me and taking her to wife was, even then, a favorite secret dream. Somewhere secret, beautiful, and peaceful. So this story is VERY entertaining to us, as she and I are still together in our 70's. It has been fun. Thank you for writing this.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. I liked the development and progression to the inevitable. Thanks for all your effort in writing and posting this story.
I absolutely loved this story, there are only a few writers I have found so far on here that do such an amazing job with bringing their characters to life, and youare one of the best, this story was incredible!
I mused at the image my tall dirty-blond blue-eyed sister
"You mean you also want me to—"
She nodded ever so gently, her big brown eyes pleading again.
really wonderful and loving story. Would love to read a next chapter!
This one of the best stories I have read here or anywhere else. This was a great story.
Ok this's a very good work..highly meaningful
I enjoyed every minute of reading it..Thnx for the post man
Absolutely love this story, makes me wish Literotica allowed for 6 stars, and a top 10 favorite setting. Keep writing stories please. xD
Enjoyed your story immensely! I read it twice!
Thank you for this effort.
This is epic. I had wondered how the ceremony would work out. Zami, but mostly her assistants, seemed very interested in him. Surely they would both be unusual in that part of the world. The other women would notice that she never had to take care of pubic hair. I've read that some peoples have discoverd and combination of herbs to remove unwanted hair. Didn't suprise me about them being ok with others watching. On our marriage day we had found a preacher to marry me an Linda and another couple for free. Me and the other guy got one old beater of a sedan running and we traveled Colorado getting only one motel room per night. We'd trade each night which couple got the bed. Of course, everybody saw everything and had fun. Should write another chapter. They establish their identity in Arizona, but move back to the Village after the child is born. At least temporarily. Yup, I think I'd like to see some more of this.
This story deserves more than 5 stars. I loved it. I read it several times. Please continue to write.
I would have given 5 stars but the out come was rather obvious. Well put together.
well done, needs checking for spelling errors. a great tale, gives a good start for a life time of adventures and more children.
Bet you get - MORE, MORE, MORE - a lot don't you? But I'll say it again, more! Should they just settle in Arizona? How is she going to get a job as a professor at a University with a PHD in Anthropology (a predominately male discipline of science) without attracting attention? I think they should become weary of living the lie and move back to their village, where they actuallyARE husband and wife. Little Tara grows up where she was concieved, they get the outdoor life they both crave.
It was absolutely wonderfull and it was one of the best i have read so far. I think you should continue the story like sending the back to live in the jungle abd raise their child there after it is born...5stars
This made me so hot and reminded me of an illicit encounter when I was pregnant and so horny. I fucked my younger brother for several months and felt a strong love.
Absolutely phenomenal story. A story in this category I think is always better when the scenarios are on the more realistic side of things, otherwise it might as well not be in this category. Hot as fuck.
This is a fantastic story and very enjoyable. It was not about the sex, it was about the building of a beautiful relationship. Well done to the author
The best! Just remove the beginning diversion at the camp and launch into the main story!
I have to say I enjoyed that more than anything I have read here. Please, please write more.
I didn't grow up with sisters, only brother's...so, for some reason incest with a sister never bothered me as awful.
This story gets into so many nuances of what, I can only imagine, a brother and sister would experience. Your story line was so exciting on different levels ...truly, truly enjoyed it. Thoroughly eroticaly stimulating.
Please continue writing.
I really (and I do mean REALLY) loved the story. I wish it could go on, but everything was said that needed to be said.
Were it possible, that is what I would give this story. Well written, without doubt one of the best I've read here. Congratulations, well done.....
I was so engrossed in the story line that
I found I was also reading during office hours
I was willing Cal on from the1 st night of the marriage
To enter the forbidden fruit- well done- hope to read more
My first comment on a story on Literotica. I'm very impressed at how long the author drew-out, and tantalized the readers with a well-written tale.
Very impressive writing skills, to say the least.
Kudos.
more, more, more..... love the story and how you built it up. I would love to see a follow up story and have the family fly back to the jungle and visit the tribe. what an amazing story.... thanks
taco1085, there's no need for a sequel for a story that took 11 pages! Plus, kudos to the author.... you are genuinely best-seller worthy. Keep up the good work!
My English is not so good, so I read short stories 3 4 pages.
First time I read your story in one breath 11 pages
5 stars for both of us