Nature or Nurture Ch. 25-27

Chapter 25

In the kitchen they meet up with Mina and Victor, both looking well-satisfied. That makes four of us, Adison thinks. Victor clearly feels a lot better, and she realizes that he just needed to get started again. Keeping too quiet wasn't good for him, nor for herself for that matter.

But not to worry, this time it will not take a week before they make love again, she is sure of that. They have dinner together, and then Vincent and Adison leave for the theatre. It is so good to see Vincent on the stage again, she really enjoys the show. She is amazed that none of the actors ever seem to get bored with playing the same role, every night their performance is as if it is the first time. Every time she sees her lover on stage she falls in love with him all over again, he looks so good in his costume, and his voice and diction are just perfect.

It doesn't even bother her that he plays several love-scenes with another woman, she just gets caught up in the story and enjoys the happy end. She does wonder if Vincent still dreams of getting ahead, of progressing to a larger theatre with serious plays instead of these penny dreadfuls.

When the play is done, she stays in her seat to see what kind of folk gather for the meet and greet with the cast. She sees hardly anyone she recognizes, Vincent is talking to a distinguished looking gentleman in his fifties. A very handsome man still, with noble bearing. They are talking animatedly, both seem to be enjoying themselves.

The man doesn't seem to be the type to visit this establishment, but of course higher forms of entertainment will get boring too, so maybe this is just some variety for this gentleman. They manage to fill half an hour with their conversation, and no-one interrupts them, not even the director, who joins them for a moment to listen to their conversation, but starts mingling again soon afterwards.

When Vincent and the gentleman finally shake hands and the guest leaves, all the other players are already backstage, putting away their costumes and removing their make-up. Vincent gestures her to join him, then steps behind the scenes as well. She walks through the rows of chairs sideways, then follows the path in the middle towards the stage. There is a little stairs to the side of the stage, which she climbs, and then she also disappears behind the scenes, into the dressing room.

It is a large room, which Vincent shares with several other actors, and as she enters they are all bombarding him with inquiries. But he waits for her to be seated before he speaks.

'That man is the stage manager of St James' Theatre, he wants me to audition for a role in the next play they're staging. It's by a modern playwright, Oscar Wilde, and it's supposed to be a really diverting piece, something with a guy called Earnest.'

Now everyone is talking at the same time, congratulating him, asking him if he's planning to do the audition. Adison is very proud of him, she doesn't say anything yet, though, they'll have plenty of time to talk it over. All Vincent says in reply to all the queries is, 'I'll seriously consider auditioning, yes, and the director knows who the man was and what he was planning to do. Common courtesy among theatre managers, you know.'

He's finished dressing and offers Adison his hand. She takes it with a thrill of pride, it is so nice to see him so rooted here, among these colourful folks. She loves sitting here with them, quite a difference from her own job.

'See you all tomorrow!' Vincent calls out to his colleagues, and then he leads Adison out through the stage door. Adison waves at the other players in passing, certain she will come again tomorrow.

As soon as they are outside, Adison embraces him and they kiss passionately. Then they walk home, keeping an eye on their surroundings, but talking as well. Vincent tells Adison all about his chat with the stage manager.

'This is it, love, my big opportunity. He told me he was really impressed by what I did with a role as flat as the lower countries. He was touched by my interpretation, which he thought a miracle for the play is not meant to be felt. I will go of course, though if I get the part I'll miss all of this immensely, I know everyone, trust everyone here. These people made me into who I am as an actor.' 'I understand completely. These are your friends, if you leave here you'll miss them. But serious theatre is what you wanted from the first. Did he give you a date, and a scene to prepare?'

'No he didn't, not yet. He told me he'd send someone with an extract and to prepare that. I'm looking forward to reading the text.'

'You'll do fine, I'm sure. I'm so proud of you,' Adison tells him, eyes shining in admiration. They hold hands the whole way back, and come in all excited. They repeat their lovemaking, they clearly have something to make up for. Adison touches the scars on his torso on purpose, his reaction that afternoon scared her, she's afraid it was caused by her neglect of that part of him.

Being hurt focussed her attention on herself and Victor too much, she feels she has neglected Vincent the last week. She avoids touching the scar on his temple tonight, afraid to overdo it, but she is planning to spend a lot more time on him, all of him. What could have caused him to react so strongly, so humbly, she doesn't like to see him begging for anything. It reminds her of their beginning too much, when he was so dependent on her that it still hurts to think of it. Maybe this is the time to just ask him?

'Vincent', she says into the dark.

'What is it, love?' his baritone voice answers.

'What happened this afternoon, when I touched the scar?'

He crawls closer to her, holding her tightly.

'I've been thinking about that myself, love. When you touched the scar it reminded me so strongly of a very intense period in my life, it just suddenly overwhelmed me. My life is so normal now, I felt so useful the last week, running the household, providing blood for Mina, with my past filled in, the case solved, the theatre each night. But your touching me there brought it all right back, my birth and my growing up, trusting in you, dependent upon you, all those memories and feelings in one touch. It brought me to my knees, literally.

Did it scare you, dear?'

Now Adison is overwhelmed by memories and emotions as well. Suddenly she understands how it must feel to him: he remembers every second of his year long life as if it happened yesterday, and nothing more. Since Mina told him of Heathcliff he felt like a normal man, with a past and a family to care for, but when Adison touched the scar she reminded him forcibly of his strange beginning. 'You scared me nearly to death. I thought you had broken.'

The remembrance still upsets her, he hears it in her voice and strokes her hair and face.

'I love you so much, I never meant to scare you. Witnessing you get hit and hurt was unbearable to me, that may have shocked me, too, and touching the scar brought it out.

Maybe you can touch it regularly, I'll get used to it again, associate it with our new life together, where I am not as dependent.

'Dearest, you are no more dependent on me than I am on you. That's just part of being together. You haven't been dependent since you got the part in the play. You have supported Victor and me since then, we have relied on your strength, why do you think we like to be dominated by you? We feel safe with you.'

Realizing the truth in this, he says, 'You're right. I never realized, but I do now. I need to think about it a bit more, but not now. Now, I want you to touch the scar you've avoided tonight, see if my dark side is willing to make you feel really, really safe.'

Which she does, and which he is.

It is a good thing the four-poster is a very sturdy bed, for the gorgeous beast is no longer burdened by any negative emotions and overwhelms Adison once again with his superhuman strength and his incredible stamina. Exhausted, they drop off, still holding the other tightly.Chapter 26

Somewhere during that night, Vincent relives part of his past again, and even as he undergoes the shocking memory, he realizes this is what master Man needs to know about.

He is in the modern apartment, their haunt in the city, and it is a nice place, large for the city and well-decorated. Catherine clearly has excellent taste in furniture and decor, and as clearly plenty of money to spend on it.

She is not enjoying it now, though, for she is not looking well. Her face is grey and drawn, and she seems in great pain and distress. Oh my god, Vincent thinks, what if this is the moment of her death? He feels the helplessness of his predecessor, and his intense anguish over her situation. She is not calm, she's raving madly, it sounds as if she has delusions, and if she's had them before. Heathcliff seems used to coping with them, he reasons with her, tries to calm her down. He tries to hold her, but she keeps him at a distance, quite violently.

His feelings are heartbreaking, he is so desperate, he is afraid she'll kill herself, sinking into madness ever deeper and deeper. Now she cringes in pain, not mental pain but severe, acute physical pain. His former self is nearly as far gone in his misery, but this new symptom shakes him out of it. This is new to him as well.

She folds in pain again, it is clear her stomach is giving her intense pain. Checking her out with Heathcliff's eyes, Vincent gets the biggest shock of all: her belly is extended, showing all the signs of a pregnancy in its final stage. Of course Heathcliff must have known that, but together with his own horror and denial he feels Heathcliff's: Cathy cannot survive a delivery in this state.

Living with two doctors, Vincent cannot understand how she has gotten in this hopeless state, emaciated and apparently even dehydrated, but remembering Mina's comments, his former self is probably not entirely sane anymore himself. He knows a terrible scene is going to be played out here, and no-one in his right mind would want to witness this, but he also realizes he will have to see it through.

If there is a child of his body on this earth, he needs to know if and where it lives. So he tries to influence Heathcliff to send for a midwive and a doctor, to relieve his wife's pain and help her to deliver the baby.

A grueling battle follows, for the life of the child, since the mother has no chance at all. There is no sanity left in Heathcliff, the thought of losing the love of his life has caused him to cross the border of reason. Vincent's influence is the only thing keeping his former self from succumbing to raving madness.

Having lived through despair and rage, and utter loneliness already, he can still hardly bear the feelings that are assailing his senses through Heathcliff. Vincent hovers on the brink of madness himself, kept sane only by the memory of another reality, where he has a home and lover of his own.

He sticks through hours and hours of seeing Cathy suffering pain and madness, until she sinks into unconsciousness through loss of blood and loss of self.

Finally, through expert intervention of the midwive, the child is born, alive, crying lustily. Miraculously she seems to be totally healthy, though small. Whilst the doctor takes care of Catherine's still form, the midwive expertly wraps the baby in a blanket.

'You have a daughter, sir,' she says carefully.

She doesn't know Heathcliff, having only just met him, so she does what she always does, show the newborn infant to its father. In her practice, she must often see mothers not surviving childbirth, and probably the bereaved fathers cling to the newborns as the only thing they have left of their beloved. This man must look more than half mad in her eyes, she does seem to keep a safe distance.

Heathcliff doesn't want to see the child, but Vincent does, so he forces Heathcliff to take a peek anyway, trying to lock the baby's looks in his memory. She is a pretty girl, with huge dark eyes, a tiny face and a big mop of raven hair.

She looks decidedly exotic, like her father. The only thing she has from her mother is the fine bone structure.

His former self cannot handle looking at the child any longer, and when the midwive asks if she should find a wet nurse, with a broken voice he mumbles, 'Get that child out of my sight. My life has no more use without my love.'

And with that he moves to the side of the bed where Catherine is still lying motionless, takes her white hand and sinks to his knees, head bowed in submission.

Cathy is yet living, for his touch revives her a little. She looks straight at him and whispers, 'Send our daughter to Nelly Dean, sweetheart. She'll take care of her. But who will take care of you?'

And with this, her pale face falls back on the pillow and she loses consciousness again.

The doctor feels her pulse and says in a solemn voice, 'It can't be long now sir. I'm sorry for your loss.'

Vincent feels his former self totally lose it. He's afraid Heathcliff will hurt the doctor or the child, but there is nothing he can do about it. In his mad grief Heathcliff has taken total control of the body once more, and now it is moving fast. Vincent only finds out what he is planning to do when the first blinding flash of pain hits his nerves, the shock driving him back into his own body.

His head hurts where it hit the stone wall of the apartment, probably hard enough to draw blood. No, it wasn't his head, it was Heathcliff's. The headache doesn't disappear with this realization. He just saw Catherine die in childbirth, and he has a natural daughter somewhere in the country, being raised by Nelly Dean, who will take good care of her.

The staggering impact of this knowledge keeps him immobile for what seems to be a long time. Then he sits up in bed. He has a child out there! They need to find it, find it immediately. If the enemy finds out he will have incredible leverage against them with a living child of his blood.

His abrupt movement wakes Adison out of her sleep, and as she sees him sitting in bed she asks, totally awake like a true doctor, 'What's happening?'

First he practically grabs her, clinging to the reality of her warm, sleepy body against him, holding her so tightly she makes a squeeking sound. That brings him back to his senses, and he loosens his grip a little.

'I'm sorry love. I needed to feel the reality of this world, of you. I had the most intense flashback yet, worse than dying myself, witnessing Catherine die in childbirth. In childbirth Adison!

There is a daughter of my body on this world as we sit here and speak.'

Adison is completely stunned by this news, but her body automatically answers his need by returning his embrace, holding on to him as tightly as he holds on to her. Then she finds her voice.

'A daughter, but where is she? Does the enemy have her?'

'I think not, if he was true to her last wish the child lives with a certain Nelly Dean, someone they knew in their youths. Cathy told him to send the baby to this Nelly, and there were a doctor and a midwive present to witness her dying wish. I need to speak to Mina. Now, before she falls asleep.' He is already moving.

'Vincent wait!' Adison says in her doctor's voice. He automatically obeys.

'Calm down first. You've seen a terrible thing, sit here and quiet down a little, then put on some clothing. I'll go and see if Mina is still up. You cannot do anything until daybreak anyway.'

And she leaves him for a few moments.

If she is still awake, she expects to find Mina reading in their bedroom. And indeed, when she knocks on the door really softly, Mina opens it, book still in hand, surprise on her face.

'Vincent has had a really intense flashback, reliving Cathy's dying moments. He wants to speak to you about it, but he is very upset because of what he saw and what he learned. Can you come talk to him in say, ten minutes?'

Even more suprised now, and quite curious, Mina immediately affirms.

'I'll be there. You go back quickly and settle him down, that must have been a terrible thing to witness.'

Adison does indeed hurry back, finding Vincent dressed and back on the bed. He is not moving, but she can see his mind is still running around in circles. She sits down behind him, taking him in her arms, stroking his face, his hair. He leans into her caresses, slowly relaxing into her arms.

'That's better', she says, 'we need you calm and able to think if we're going to search for your daughter. Mina will be here within ten minutes, take that time to collect your memories, you can tell both of us what happened at the same time.'

She is not avoiding the scar on his temple in her caresses, and touching it under these circumstances seems to relax him further rather than tense him up.

Even though the situation is quite acute, Adison still savors this moment of total silence together, the man she admires and loves in her arms, giving himself up totally to her calming ministrations. All too soon, Mina knocks on their door and lets herself in. She sits down on the bed on Vincent's other side, the two of them surrounding him with quiet energy.

Having lived with him and cared for Victor and Adison with him, Mina is struck by the difference between this man and the man she knew with the same body. The quiet tenderness they all share, Victor included, is the total opposite of what she remembers of his predecessor. And having lived off his blood for more than a week, she also knows that his tenderness has a core of the hardest steel.

He is indeed a modern creation, Victor's triumph over life itself, but only through love has he become a real human.

Still aware of the bond of blood between them, she feels free to sit really close to him and take one of his hands in both of hers. Adison gives her an encouraging look, so Mina says, 'Now tell us what happened, and what you want us to do.'

'I was in their city apartment, and she was raving. He was at his wits' end with her. She looked awful, emaciated, dehydrated. Then she doubled up with pain, and I saw through his eyes that she was pregnant. You can imagine the shock that gave me. Him and me simultaneously realized she wouldn't make it through a delivery in the state she was in. He went to pieces, but I had to save the child, so I forced him to send for a doctor and a midwive.

It took hours and hours of her suffering in pain and growing madness. Then she lost consciousness. The midwive managed to get her daughter out the natural way, and the baby seemed fine. He wouldn't acknowledge the baby, but I forced him to take a good look at her, so I could form an image of what she'd look like now. She was beautiful, his black hair and black eyes, her fine boning. Cathy faded away, but implored him to send the baby to Nelly. She uttered her concern about him, and sank into unconsciousness again, fading quickly.

The loneliness and the madness in the mind I was a part of were devastating, only the remembrance of my life here with you kept me sane, he nearly took me with him in his despair over her death. I was afraid he'd kill the child, or the doctor in his desperate rage, but I think he bashed his head to the wall instead.

I lost contact with him and woke up here, with a headache and this memory.'

Chapter 27

Mina is as shocked as they were to hear that Cathy had a child before she died, that is clearly visible. But Adison realizes that doesn't mean the enemy is unaware of it.

Because of her connection to Miss Yves, Mina was treated better than other captives, but she wasn't told everything.

Still speechless, Mina tries to get a hold on the knowledge that there is a child of Vincent's blood. Her brain is already working at full speed: did she ever hear of a Nelly Dean, one they both knew as children?