All Comments on 'Naughty Neighbour'

Sorry, Bob, but you do not have that gift. Not to be cruel, but your style of story-telling is pretty boring. I've known people like you. I think you're the sort of person, who, if you were at a party, the others there would make an effort to know where you were at all times. Not because they were frightened of you, but to minimize the risk of being caught and cornered by you and your boring stories. Do people scatter when you draw close, Bob?

Bob, c'mon, buddy wake up....I just don't have it. At said party, people scatter because you cant slap three words together that make one interested....please stick to writing lame poetry or whatever you do, but this literotica just isn't your schtik, Bob.....

Regarding the two comments below; thought this section was for constructive criticism not for insulting the author however maybe this is the best they can do.

I liked your story and thought it was well developed and sufficiently close to life experience for me easily to suspend disbelief. That you claimed it is true made it all the better. Thanks.

I've no idea what had got into the first two critics but please don't let them put you off posting other stories. I enjoyed your story and can't quite see where they are coming from.

All the pest Pete.

why don't you post some of your stuff so we can critique some of your wonderful

literotica???? You don't even have anything in your library...

What is up with your nasty critique?????

As my Grand Mother Tuchell would say "what can you expect from a pig but a grunt"

Bob tells us it is a true story and I can well believe it is by the way it is written. I thought it was too much a like a monologue where the listener wants to jump in and ask questions. There seem to be points that needed a bit more clarification.

.......but looking forward to the developing situation

I've never played pro football, but I can tell the difference between playing well and playing badly. I can also tell the difference between a well written story and a badly written story. This was NOT well written, in my opinion.

Does the presence or absence of stories I've written, or whether or not I took the time to get a username, affect the truth of my opinion?

I have no love for trolls, but I have no patience for people who think a hug and a kind word are the answer for every situation. If you had the choice of walking around with your fly open and your dick hanging out OR someone pointing it out so you could DO something about it, which would YOU prefer?

My major problem with this is the switching of verb tense from past to present. Since you introduced this as something that happened a week ago or more, it would work better if all verb tenses were in the past. With this type of story, true or fiction, the past tense form is best. Work on this and it should improve your story telling.

who the hell cares if his english is perfect, whose is, if he has perfect english, he needs not be on here, but selling books. i saw nothing wrong with the english, are all these people on here english teachers or does some people complain of anything. these complainers should be complaaining of plotless stories instead, this is a true story, and i understaand it enough. i sort of think both their spouses have not good lovers, and i believe their spouses would approve , but some people on here would want to see a foursome. the man in the hospital i bet knows, but i bet he dont know of the life insurance policy they put on him. but eroticaa is only interested in good sappy endings. now if a guy on here has a not true life dumass story with good english these people on here would be haqppy. they probably cant enjoy ablack and white movie, that is not widescreeen, that dont come in a pretty box they can stare at all day, like a record, high on pot

I hate to be critical because I am not one of those "English schoolmasters that like to bang on about "proper English" however, as much as I liked the subject of his relationship with a next-door neighbour it was the use of swearwords that spoilt it for me. I simply do not like profane swearing to describe the sexual act. It would have been so easy to use other adjectives to gain the same effect for the reader. Sorry but 3* is the maximum for your true story effort.

"the adventure continues, with a bit of a twist..."

you mean without language used by a virgin?

Good quick read bit different but not bad for that