All Comments on 'Nefarious'

I am very interested in the story, I hope you decide to keep working on it.

This story is part of a larger body of work. The characters in this vignette are part of a four part series I'm working on. I have the first book in the series written and will be publishing it very soon. I'm so excited you like it! It is a lot of fun to write.

This part cannot stand on its own. You need, at a minimum, a hook to hang it on. Reminds me of a preacher I used to have to listen too. He thought all he had to say was God! then everyone was supposed to tremble and fall on the floor in ecstasy. I dont think he ever realized how boring he really was. It was the congregations fault for not being religious enough.

In short, find a topic and do something with it that is different than what 80% of the other writers have done.

That being said, I did see a shadow of talent and original thought. Something a lot of others do not have. But it is going to take work.

Thank you for your feedback. I understand what you mean, vampires have been done ad infinitum. The larger story this spin-off comes from definitely has a different take, I don't think it will be found cliché at all. The underlying question asked in my series is, what is, and what makes, a vampire.

It is always from a literal bite. Not in my story. It's from the loss of one's humanity.

The second story in my series puts Talcott in the Kaiser's Imperial Army at Fricourt, France. You may know this as the Battle of the Somme. While the British Army rains down artillery on the German front lines, Talcott is driven mad and vicious by the ever encroaching fear of his own death, and the many he has killed. All the while he is being haunted by another vampire, Lucius, who appears in the smoke from blown shells and the clouds of phosphine gas. Lucius taunts him, and seduces him to evil. It's obviously light on the sex, and high on the decent into madness and depravity. But don't worry, books 1, 3 and 4 are quite licentious.

I hope that's not too cliché.