All Comments on 'Neglected Red Headed Trophy Wife Ch. 02'

This is a great story. I can not wait to read more

I have no complaints about your content or category, but overuse of -ing verbs in general, and of the dialogue tag + -ing verb construction in particular was a huge distraction in both chapters. I encountered all of these without having to scroll down on the first page of this chapter:

"Fuck," he groaned, rushing...

"I was starting to worry," she whimpered, looking...

"I'm sorry about that, pet," Paul smiled, walking...

"And what's this?" Paul asked, taking...

"Oh!" She gushed, shaking...

"Can I be your kitten? Will you call me kitten?" She begged, looking...

Pull up the story in your browser and search for "ing." I think you'll notice that you've got a habit....

The story is great Paul is one lucky bastard, although her husband will know when he fucks her, as her pussy would never be the same. My only beef is the power dynamic is all over the place, he has to be dominant to win her then she calls all the shots. His being dominant over her has nothing to do with punishment and everything to do with control, and it is spinning away from him.

I like this a lot.

Wouldn't mind more.

Waiting for the next chapter... don't make us wait too long.

Made me so wet!!! Arghhhh I loved it just wanted to keep reading and reading

I may be wrong but I thought he was a virgin fresh out of high school and a computer nerd. The way this is playing out he learned a lot in a short period of time just by reading her computer info. I guess what I am saying is it doesn't flow. However I am enjoying the story and concept.

I hope he wasn't one of those predictable strategists who always took Australia first. That's so very lame.

Paul has cum a long way in a short time, he is my new hero. Some wording is over the top, lick up my whore juice, for example, butt I just ate it up. So Paul will find fulltime ownership of a pet is well a fulltime job, perhaps he can enlist his nerd gamer friends. I might consider her the prize for a game off with her present during the competition, of course distracting the players is required.

Sucks that you seem ready to turn him into just another pathetic cuck. Letting better men have his woman.

I like how Paul knows when to be Hard and when to be more gentle and knows what she needs as a woman and a sub and as a slut. I've needed that at times for a few Mens to know me like that and be able to handle me and Own ALL me and my Holes. Even when I was with some that I knew was just Pimping me out after I was with them for a while.

I love the "note to readers" at the beginning and the P.S.'s at the end, they are fucking hilarious!!! It's not like you gave it to a friend and said 'tell me what you think', it's on a free open website. I mean if u bitch about someone else's stories they are allowing you to read is there anything you don't bitch about!! Sorry for the rant I just think your notes are amazing!

Great Love Story Five Stars

Well that’s a very good 2nd chapter, still well written but still just a wank read

Still going strong, a little light hearted but a good and easy read.

Valerie is a complex women with many hidden talents. It seems she's finally found someone who she can connect with and truly be herself. The master/slave aspect of the relationship could be problematic but maybe just maybe Paul will be perfect for her. I hope it works out. Although whoring her out kind of ruins it for me. It loses any sort of closeness and connection for me even if it's meant to be one of her fantasies or whatever. It just feels cheap and degrading. Hopefully he doesn't go through with that and it remains only a fantasy.

Story is very unrealistic. No way a super hot Valerie could be dominated by a virgin who is also a nerd. She is gorgeous and talented. Paul doesn't deserve her.