All Comments on 'New Girl in Town Pt. 10'

This story has potential but the longer it goes on the slower it gets. And with the long wait between chapters its just not worth the read.

Im not worried about the pace of development or the infrequent updates - please keep writing when you can and I will continue reading and scoring you high.

Thank you

Title says is it all. every instalment of this series has been absolutely brilliant! keep it up! Cant wait for the next chapter

While I am enjoying the story I am wondering where the sex comes in? I am all for a slow burn but 10 chapters in and no sex. Great character development but this is beginning to read like a tween romance novel.

There seems to have been a change in the perspective of the narrative from where the whole story started. Apart from that and a couple of missing words, it is another excellent chapter.

Jake doesn't seem to be drooling a much as he might, but then he has had a few distractions away from having his eyes glued to the tight shorts. Good news on the football game officials being banned from officiating future games. Perhaps something further can drip out of that. Sounds like we're heading towards a nice build to Patrick's demise and Jamie's exit.

I think we have more of the Jake-Tracy relationship story to go too. However, best not to lose track too much for our two main characters and their eventual culmination.

Devir Ginator

This story is so fun.... the great thing about this site is almost every other story goes really fast, so .001% is okay... if you don’t like it let your fingers (and palm) go somewhere else ...

I’m loving this. Finally some substance. Don’t get me wrong I love good sex stories but I love the slow development. It really helps the reader to completely emerse themselves into the characters. I will be selfish though and hope that Jake finally keeps some good luck and I’d love to see him get suspended for beating Patrick’s ass

Firstly, I am loving this series.

However, in the last couple of chapters, the continuiy errors etc are starting to creep in for example:

In Chapter 9, Jake walks to Bobby's but Ray stops when he see's Jakes car in the drive.

Marybeth asks Jake about kissing Jess, but he hadn't told her or Bobby about kissing her at that stage....

Chapter 10 is the biggest change as we are now in the third person for all of Jake's involvement..... Chapter 1 to 9 are all in the first person when Jake is involved in the scene. What will Chapter 11 be like ?

Are you asking anyone to check your chapters before submitting ? I must admit, I was over halfway through Chapter 10 before noticing the change myself :) but I wonder if a good editor / proof reader would pick up on these things....

Nevertheless, I love this story and eagerly await Chapter 11 !!!!!!!

Keep 'em coming!

Now more more now now more more now now more more more more more more now now now now now now more more more more more more more more more now now now now now now

If you pay $10 to $15 for a book you can expect perfection in publishing. I love this site and all of the FREE stories, especially to longer ones. Keep the chapters coming and I will keep reading and applauding.

PS: I'm not ashamed of my comments so I identify myself and anyone that wants to is welcome to come back at me.

constantly mixing first and third person in this chapter. You're trying and that is good. The plot is going along nicely, but writing in the present tense is never a good thing and you still confuse POVs at times. I admire your hard work and constant improvement. Good job!

This story has potential, but it's getting drawn out, and starting to lose steam. You keep teasing revelations like they're going to be significant, and then... they just aren't. That story about the halloween party is fine, but it didn't live up to the extended build up across 2 chapters. The first few chapters had some great plot points and development was solid. Now I feel like I'm reading someone's rough draft of a YA novel before all the fluff is cut out.

This chapter was a little bit off, I rushed through it.

Good work though.. keep em coming

As usual this story was very good but remember what site your on.

I am enjoying watching your characters develop and grow up. There are a lot of quirky personalities in the Misfits and their families. You are doing a great job of making them unique individuals.

I am looking forward to reading much more of the life of these friends.

The story is great. I look forward to each chapter. I know this is different from everything else on the site, but I just don’t care. Keep it up!

I liked this chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one, even though I'm somewhat dreading what Patrick and Jamie have in mind at the VB game. And is CC now a Misfit?

Happy to put my name to this comment unlike others who bitch, please keep up the great work it appears that most readers are up for an extended read!

First of all thanks for a much faster post, i am one of those who almost check daily for your next update :)

It was great as always and look forward to your next one.

My one request is to write the way you intended to, do not get swayed by comments here.

I love this series I wish it was updated faster, but is it me or is CC playing for Patrick kinda like Somer is(kinda called that one)

now at critical levels. I wouldn't comment if I didn't like the series.

I do love this story and I also love that this chapter came out fairly quickly compared to previous chapters. (I check pretty often to see if the next part is up) The only things I am conflicted about is 1. How slow the story is beginning to get. While I personally do not mind that the story is slower and more bent on building characters than sex and drama, a lot of people who don’t comment (and a couple who do) likely came to the site, and to this story, to read a more sex-oriented story. 2. I am starting to see that Jake never gets told no by anyone in the story. For a quick example, Jessica’s parents could have told him that he can’t put her portrait in the school’s art fair. The reason I have an issue with this is because it begins to seem less of a reality and more of a fairy tale where everything falls perfectly into place after a few conflicts that are guaranteed to settle in order to advance the plot. This can also be seen with relationships, as nobody has truly been rejected with the exception of Jessica and Patrick (you could consider a few other things rejections, but what i really mean is that there is never a time where one guy/girl tried to get with another guy/girl and they weren’t interested/rejected them.)

These are fairly small issues I have with the overall story and while they are things I have thought about, they are not giant story-breaking issues. This story is easily still 5 star worthy and probably the best in terms of longevity and loyal viewerbase on this site to date.

To end on a good note, I did enjoy how the story was told in the third person all the way through. I think first person is better at times, but for this chapter in particular, third person was used perfectly and the changes in POV that many people have complaints about finally got fixed here. I believe changing the POV is fine as long as it is between breaks in the chapter (***) Great work, and i’m very excited for chapter 11!

Great storyline, great storytelling, great writing. The underlying suspense is perfect.

Only problem is that I caught up to latest chapter and have to wait for next instalment.

Absolutely perfect story. Just wish the chapters were a little longer

Is Chp. 11 ever going to come out? Loving the series and can’t wait for it to come out! Hopefully it’s somtime soon.

So to summarise, we love the story but we want longer chapters that come out more frequently and maintain the quality of writing and storytelling. That's easily managed, right?

I love the story but definitely consider a good editor next time. A lot of sentences where you're missing words. You also go from."I said" and "Jessica said" to "Jake said" and "Jessica said". Stick with a single perspective (1st person or 3rd person). I recommend 3rd person since you would transition from Jake and jessica together to Jesssica on her own. If you were telling this story from your point of view you would have no idea what Jessica is dong by herself which prevents you from doing thing (like when jessica was talking to Staci and Jake was at bobbys)

Great story but I agree with the comment before me. The change between 1st and 3rd perspective is strange. Sticking to 3rd would be best as you have more than one point of view characters.

Thanks for sharing your stories

I’ve given this ten whole parts and sadly will stop reading. You take slow build to a whole new level. I am all for not having any sex related instances in some chapters but in ten there has been a single paragraph HJ and one slightly steamy BJ.... why didn’t this get submitted to the non-erotic section. Nevermind your missing words, person swaps, and zero question marks. I wish I could go on and finish this series but I feel like it will be underwhelming

Ignore the anonymous haters. If they had any guts they would post under their name.

Keep it up... Still good.

This story is like Christian rock of smut novels

I take it that StonedBussy420 is living up (or down) to his name. WTF does he mean? Enjoyable story, if you don't like don't read it, you have a choice.

slow burn but on crack

I'm hooked. I wonder how the final confrontation between Patrick and Jake is going to be. Please don't let the arrogant SOB hurt that young lady!

The story keeps going, so what are assholes up to now?

Much better chapter, long way to go but things finally started moving. It only took 90k+ words or whatever lol.

These should be in the NONEROTIC category