All Comments on 'New View Ch. 03'

Wonderful finish, well worth the wait!

It was particularly nice to see the protagonist grow up ;)

Minor typo: s/table clothes/tablecloths

Nice story with a great finish. I hope to see more stories from you soon.

a few times the names were mixed up. her mom called her hailey when asking for the shoes

All the mastubation fantasies and u never write the story of their first sexual encounter??? That is what I was waiting for! Aaaaarrrrggh!

I liked this one a lot. I was all set for an awesome sex scene too after all the build up but NOOO...they've already "fucked" thru the whole thing right? Still a fun read.

I wonder how it would have been had you out more effort (and pages) into it.

The basic idea is damn good, too much for how the turned out.

Sometimes the fantasy sections seemed placed to offset the fact that you weren't actually telling much story at all, and it made the non-fantasy sections disjointed. Still fine writing, but a cop-out in many ways, and disappointing for that.

no com...10/10.

I wish you would put one out from Jason's perspective.

Hallo,

viele nette Phantasien über den gemeinsamen Sex, aber keine "Realität", sondern nur der Ausblick auf 1o Jahre in der Zukunft. Schade, es wäre besser gewesen, weniger Zeit in der Präparation des Vollzuges, denn in die ersten Begegnungen zu stecken.

the idle rich and their sorry lives was a bit much, but the story was still excellent.

I've read this one a couple of times now I think over the last few years, still love it! I think I like it for the odd twist of the story it is more than anything. ...and as a poster mentioned, but I hadn't thought about too much, there really isn't any sex in the story except the quickie at the end, lol! I did skim over a couple of her fantasies this time to get back on the plot though.

Its interesting that he loves his sister and 'loves' his sister, because she isn't the type of girl that most guys would give the time of day to, lol. I guess plastic people can love too ;) lol.

After reading the entire story, I was left to wonder why you bothered to write this. Just a very little sex at the end after all those chapters with nothing really happening. Just her fantasizing. What was all that about? What a big disappointment. If you think this is the way to write a story, you're not going to please very many people with your writing in the future.

Why do so many stories always have one secret mega bucks character?

When is someone gonna write about common folk?

If I even felt I had a scrub of writing talent I would take a swing at it. but I know when I am over matched and this is one of those times.

Not everybody wants to read a story with massive amounts of carnal moments, vividly described. I sometimes wonder how some of these reviewers can type and stroke at the same time while holding their heads in the 'up and locked' position!!!!

The masturbation, interspersed with real time action was somewhat off-putting and made following the thread of the story not nearly as easy as readers might wish.

A reasonable effort and the progression from 1 to 3, clearly demonstrated growth on the part of both the writer and editor.

So, it seems you had a good idea for a story, and then decided to throw it in the trash and post this one instead. There are three main reasons why I don't like the story:

1. While I know that there are assholes in the real world who do stupid things, it is unrealistic that Jason's father would act the way he does towards him. It would make a lot more sense if it were Katie's mom who hated the boy. After all, he is the love child of her husband and a drug addict. Meanwhile, the dad would be forced to ignore Jason in order to save his marriage, but perhaps deep down inside He does care about what happens to his son.

2. How old is Jason? We know that Katie is 20, and that Jason is her younger brother. How is it possible that he is this super ridiculously rich kingpin mafia type at the age of 19 or possibly younger? Where did he get the money from? We know that his uncle is a welder by profession, and you told us that there was no way he could afford to live in the same neighborhood. Since it is implied that he abhors people who use drugs, mainly because his mother was a drug addict, it is highly unlikely that he would be involved with the selling of drugs, therefore he didn't get the money from that. This part of the story is not believable. At all.

3. Very little sex. In the first two chapters and for over 80% of the third and final chapter, all we get are masturbation fantasies. We never even get to read about their first actual time having sex together , which is usually the best part of a story posted in this category. All you give us is a handful of sentences describing a quickie before their friends show up for dinner.

This was very disappointing.

I liked the story and loved the development of the characters but didn't like that 95% of sex scenes were of her imagination and that Jason's past was never explored.

You have excelled yourself yet again. An Englishman.

story sputtered into nothing, no end, reason, big fight. Too bad. Amazing Jason, as a 4th grader had a company bought, father fired, and a family moved away. Not very believable.

I have to partially agree with the previous comment. This installment feels like you rushed through it just to give your fans an ending...any kind of ending.

The best part was when Jason confronted his father and the criminal in the restaurant. But the rest of the story didn't fit together very well. 😕 Jason and Katie should have made more than just baby Richard. In ten years of marriage, they should have had at least four children together.

But even so, I still gave you 5/5.

@IrishMike

I just read your comment below. While items 1 & 3 are mostly valid, you totally pulled an epic fail with #2-How old is Jason. In the very FIRST installment, Katie clearly stated that her mother and Jason's mother got impregnated 2 months apart, and therefore were pregnant simultaneously for a few months. Jason is only two months younger than Katie. He is independently wealthy because of his mother's parents. He's received good business advice from the people that his grandparents had in positions of authority and his own acumen has served him well also.

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But judging from your third question, I think that the sexual aspects of this story were the greatest part of YOUR focus, so you missed all of those details. 🤔

This is a nice flip side to ‘A Legacy of Shadows.’ This is hot and if really pressed into some more depth, could be on a similar level. Hot fantasies and a happy ending.