by goodquestion
Given the silliness of part 1, I had low expectations for part 2. I was surprised.
Part 2 is even worse than part 1. That took effort. Or something.
You know working with an editor isn't like you'll be holding each other's 13" rock-hard throbbing thesauri. Think of it like the comments here, only more 1-on-1. And your writing would greatly benefit from the 13-in rock-hard throbbing feedback.
He is the kind of arrogant asshole who is the bad guy in most of these stories. Someone needs to show up and cut his nuts off and feed them to him. 3 stars for your effort anyway.
Terrific story-telling, and a good sequel to chapter 1. There is both character development in this chapter and some excellent sex scenes, which are so well-written that they never become boring, nor are they too wordy or repetitive. Five stars.
It's good to be 'Master' of your harem! Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading the next. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.
I packed in reading this on page 2 as it had become so repetitive and boring, yes I am aware this is a fantasy but even fantasies have to have a modicum of truth and possibility.
you made us waiting for nearly five years now. Just continue. My Favourite List has new one.
I don't think there will be a chapter three. I would have liked to have read more and followed the author's imagination. I'm thinking if you had the protagonist's skill set you eventually need to add a lady of means to your harem, someone's got to support the gang.
I've been waiting for a new part for over a year! Please continue the story.
I have to admit this chapter was disappointing. After the back story and detail you included in the first issue, following it with a 'stroke' tale felt empty.
I hope you continue to work on this story with renewed creativity.
I hope you add a chapter soon. I love the story premise, and your sexual descriptions are the best. Don't quit.
nice story so far, i wish you the best of luck
but if you do decide to get help from another author it will
help you get over a lot of rough spots, here are a few stories that might give you some
insight.
Tristan's Tale - IncomingPornDuck
The Morrisons - RecHiker
A New Life for Dr. Mitchel - Fat_Dad
Dream Drive - Over_Red
Our Little Secret - deltablonde
Celestial Wars - Noble_Truth
Bean Counter - Creamer
You clearly should write more. Loved it!!!!!!! Mayb u cud make his dream a reality....just thought.
can't wait to read more! you are doing great, release at your schedule and know that people will be reading
-ahaz
I love the dream sequence. The idea of many hot untouchable women pleading obedience and worship in exchange for one man supernatural powerful dick is simply hot. Like to see this play out in a real world harem.
He needs to start dominating rich women and women to make his life better i.e. lawyers and accountants and so on. Great story.
A few minor typos, but they do little to detract from a great premise. I look forward to the girls recruiting more sluts for their master to fuck.
Now that he has 2 Sluts. When will he make a Move to get his Harem together.
He definately needs to get a few others to take care of his needs or he will wear out Kayla & Katie. and he still needs to Collect his inheritance. Maybe buy the Apartment bldg.. To house himself and his Harem.
You tell a really hot tale. Very vivid descriptions of fantastical sex. Very few writers have the ability to put the reader into the character, especially when the hero's sexual powers exceed reality.
I guess what I am saying is read your story is as close as us ordinary mortals can get to experience what it is like to be a powerful sex god. For that, I truly thank you.
Ted
I absolutely love this story line. I hope there are many more chapters to come. You have a great gift for how you write the story and you are one of the very few writers that seem to know how to use spell check. Please continue to write and post on here. I am looking forward to reading the next chapter in the hopefully short future.