by DavKrieg
On the believability angle, but please keep striving for perfection.
Strive for better consistency. You say the girls are 18, but they were also born while Craig was in the marines. Since he retired after 25 years in the Fire Service, the girls should be somewhere between 25 and 29.
I think Klitomaniac was right about the believability, though that may have been helped by starting the story at an earlier point, like when the girls first started getting interested in Craig.
Still, a pretty good story. Please write more!
Really makes me wish that I had a lovely sexy daughter to fuck like that. So hot!!
I agree with the others that are saying this is on the believability and I would like to add that it woukd be very high if not actual .
Great story, publish the next part. I hope you continue this as the possibilities are endless.
Love it and hope to read more of this sexy tale. Will Susans mommy get involved too? Seems like there could be a few babies in the future as well.
I wanted to like this story. It was a great set up and your descriptions of the characters were good. However, the constant shifting from past to present tense, and back again was incredibly distracting. Also, a story is either told from a fist person perspective (I, me, my) or as a third-person account (Craig kisses her forehead...) This story waffled between both.
I provide this feedback so your next story might be better. I didn’t rate this story because I didn’t want to kill your HOT rating.
No talk of blood, so I guess both the girls have busted their cherries on their dildos? Daddy just got two prime pussy's to fuck. Mmmmm
Great story enjoyed it alot can't wait for the next chapter..
Love your writing, more please! Read your shipboard shenanigan's first, lovely , erotic , definitely more please!
I have to say that this being your first incest story it deserves more than 5 stars. I have read other incest stories from other authors that have done several incest stories and this is as good as the best and better than a lot of others.
Sequel/Prequel please.