All Comments on 'No Way Honey --- Heather'

It seems that his wife cares very little for him. He gives her a fantasy night and her way of repaying him is to act like she is cheating? Sorry I would put my wife on probation for years over a stunt like this. I would also verify everything she has told me after her trip. And I would make sure she new I was verifying it. She lied to him about the trip. How does he know she hasn't lied about everything else. Well written and believable I just did not like how he takes everything without verification. The note could have meant anything. From you don't know where I am cheating. To I am fucking with you. Why would he assume the best when she has shown the worst.

Love your teasing!

Boyd

Well, you certainly earned your nom-de-plume Brit 'tease' with this one! Very clever, and well written as usual. And the ending was a (pleasant) surprise, as well as a warning — don't get too carried away with your role playing!

What was the verification of where she was and what she was doing? He was set up and played. If my wife did anything even resembling this her ass would be grass and clipped to the ground. This isnt a loving wife, playing with her husband, this is a vindictive bitch trying to hurt and humiliate her husband. For all he knows their is a Canadian office and she just spent those days in Canada entering the higher up. That the trouble, she was lying to him by her own words, and once someone breaks the trust, you cant trust anything they say or ever said.

.

If my wife did this to me she would be sleeping on the sofa for at least a week. The second Heather came through the door I would contact her parents. Verify first, accept later that would be my thinking. Role playing is one thing, making something like this up is something else. I am not some insecure husband who doesn't trust his wife, in fact my wife works for an insurance company and two or three times a year she has to go to meetings in France and Switzerland and I have never questioned what she told me happened there. But if she ever pulled this stunt on me it would certainly dent any trust I might have. But Britease, as always interesting story.

Normally I really enjoy all your stories, but this one I didn't care for. To me it isn't teasing. She took a wonderful marriage and introduced doubt and mistrust. What will he be thinking the next time she has to leave? I dont believe the marriage could ever be the same if it survives at all.

wow was this awful. can some please explain what part of this shows a Loving wife?

<br></br>

why was he-- the super wimp British pussy of a husband STILL there after she told him she was going to canada fuck the other guy?

<br></br>

would you?

Here is the BIG question all have overlooked. <b> At ANY point in this story did Heather EVER think... <i>"hey maybe I am taking this too far... he sounds kind of shook up?"

</i> </b>

<br></br>

the answer is clearly NO. That is WHY this is not Just a case of playful teasing wife that might have pushed this too far. <b>She NEVER thought about her husband's reaction at all during this whole stunt.</b>

<br></br>

She actually says <u>I am going to Caanda for few days to fuck another man that have development a emotional attachment too. </u>

<br></br>

hmmmm maybe that is going too far....? Nah!

<br></br>

At this Point one has to wonder what a lying schming manipulative bitch like Heather is thinking. <i> "Wow I had Jack totally fooled. He didnt Get angry & he <b>believed everything I said.</b> Next time I can cheat on him and poor old stupid Jack would never have a clue..."</i>

<br></br>

There are other serious problems here. How does any Husband send his wife to Paris business conference without knowing here she is stayng?

<br></br>

that is Not remotely believeable

<br></br>

Consider what HE thinks he Knows

<br></br>

<i>Heather couldn't be doing this to me. She was either winding me up, or risking throwing our marriage down the pan.

<br></br>

"What!" I screamed down the phone. "What the fuck do you mean by that Heather? --- What the hell do you mean ----- got back to your own room this morning?"

<br></br>

Then I started to think about the note she'd left, and the truth of her visit to Paris dawned on me.

<br></br>

The cow ---- the bloody cow. She had all this planned in advance.</i>

<br></br>

what does jack do when he Heather comes home?

<br></br>

<i> Having devoured my lovely wife in kisses and nearly cuddled her to death, we eventually settled down, and I demanded that she told me what the hell had been going on. </i>

<br></br>

Only the Brtish could shower a lying cheating whore like Heather with Kisses while DEMANDING to know

what is going on...

<br></br>

pathetic. There are not negative values Low enough in the universe to show how bad this story is

Stupid is as "stupid does". Why are they even married?

A good story is a good story.

wat een stelletje ongelooflijke zeikers hier, zeg.

en daar moet je dan voor schrijven?

(as i have to translate your drivel, go

and translate mine)

Different strokes for different folks. I would not find the tease erotic at all, so that part I didn't like but story was well written and fun so while creating damage in most marriages if it works in story so be it. Different is good, thanks.

Nearly choked up my tea when you had Arsenal winning the Champions final. Very funny.

Great writing. Not sure I like the wife though. Her teasing was way too severe. I think he would be well within his bounds to give her a real blast about this so called 'joke'. But thanks for sharing.

Gary

Very clever and creative. Nice read.

I mean he never checked up here story did he? and even if everything is true she said (visiting her parents)this would have been close to to much. For sure she would not have had a funny arrival and for sure no sex the next couple days. I know girls always think that's the best to make first a guy angry and then have sex. well not with me. if I'm angry I'm angry and for sure no thought of sex. there are certain limits and this would have been over the top. and for sure it would have been the best of hiding having a lover even in town.

Good reading as usual, but ... It reminds me of another story on this site where the wife used to pull practical jokes on her husband with their neighbour or friend. They went too far, the husband got mad, and the trust was in their marriage was gone. *** Even if he WANTS to believe her, at least he should verify. Also, the way he was thinking of a revenge plot shows their role playing is clearly escalating. Indeed, next time she has to go away, he will start wondering again. From there to mistrust is a small step and the seed for more problems is planted. He should make sure NOW there was nothing more involved than just an "unpractical" joke to avoid future doom. G.Belgium

Britease:<p>Nicely written. Plotting and pace were good. However, your punctuation does need a little work.<p>The wife <i>played</i> the husband. If she had truly been unfaithful, she wouldn't have flaunted her indiscretion so openly. If she had actually cheated she certainly made no effort to cover her tracks. The husband has a myriad of options by which to verify her explanation. Confirming the veracity of her story is just too easy. He could contact her boss, her friend, Wendy, her parents. If she intended to have a fling in the future, what better way to raise a red flag to make her husband wary?<p>These two, by all accounts were perfectly suited and were happily married. They role played. He admits his wife teased him and was always playing pranks on him. Granted here she may have gone beyond the pale. So, spank her. But to consider this marriage as being in jeopardy...hardly.

it had me worried for a while until I realised(guessed)what was happening.Unfortunately for British authors many Americans(except for the intelligent ones) cannot appreciate the British sense of humour(humor)

Is anyone else tired of these stupid role playing plots. If I were married to the teaser ,I would have had the locks changed and filed divorce papers against the obnoxious bitch.

the Ct. Yankee

The reader/ poster WELL DONE is TRUE idiot. THAT poster wrote

<br></br>

<i>The wife played the husband.</i>

<br></br>

CORRECT.. BUT the Fantasy Play between them was NOT about pretend Cheating. Jack and Heather would pretend to be famous Movie stars/personalities. There was NO hint in their bedroom play of anyone ACTUALLY cheating.

<br></br>

Think again chump

<br></br>

<i>If she had truly been unfaithful, she wouldn't have flaunted her indiscretion so openly. If she had actually cheated she certainly made no effort to cover her tracks.

</i>

<br></br>

How do we KNOW that? Where in this story did Jack do any checking!?

<br></br>

<i>The husband has a myriad of options by which to verify her explanation. Confirming the veracity of her story is just too easy. He could contact her boss, her friend, Wendy, her parents. If she intended to have a fling in the future, what better way to raise a red flag to make her husband wary? </i>

<br></br>

HUH? are you reallty this obtuse? <b>How EXACTLY does Jack easy acceptance of what Hheather did make Her wary of cheating on him in the future?</b> what story did You read?

<br></br>

All he did was "shower her with kisses".... that reaction not only makes NO sense given what Jack WAS saying/ thinking but his easy accpetance tells Heather that Jack is Moron and Next time she can REALLY cheat.

<br></br>

<i>These two, by all accounts were perfectly suited and were happily married. They role played. He admits his wife teased him and was always playing pranks on him. Granted here she may have gone beyond the pale. </i>

<br></br>

again their Role Play did NOT invovled Pretend cheating.

<br></br>

<i>So, spank her. But to consider this marriage as being in jeopardy...hardly.</i>

<br></br>

THAT is the god damn point. He did NOT even do that! Jack's reaction was absurd.

If or when she decided to try & return she'd find her possesions in storage were it me she tried that on, plus a lawsuit against her employeer, wonder if she'd still be thinking her joke was all that funny.

Way to go; nice change of pace.

She hit the nail on the head. I can only reiterate what she commented.....except of course that I cannot.

The story featured what most readers, including me, considered a cruel, heart crushing misrepresentation by the wife. How did she know he would endure it? Perhaps she knows her husband better than she knows the average male reader.

Story is pure SHIT. She is a cruel WHORE and he is a pathetic MORON. He should have slammed her in the guts with his fist the minute she walked up to him. Knock her out, take her to an abandoned building and torture her to death, be just as ruthless as her. I'd love to put her to my blades.

Harry:<p>Hi again, Harry. Imagine my surprise when I saw that you took issue with my remarks. Really, you have to lighten up or an attack of apoplexy is waiting for you just around the corner. That was my post which I had inadvertently sent as "anonymous."<p>Harry, "not covering her tracks" means that if she had indeed had an affair, she would have done a poor job of concealing it. Nowhere in my remarks did I state that the husband had actually checked out her story.<p>I have no idea what you are asking in the following: <i><b>"How EXACTLY does Jack easy acceptance of what Hheather did make Her wary of cheating on him in the future?"</b></i> What I wrote was that were she ever tempted to really stray, <b>her husband, </b>not <b>she,</b> might be wary of such a possibility.<p>As to their role playing, what do you know about it? We are told that she is a tease and a prankster, and that they, as a couple, have often role played before. The husband describes the wife as a prankster; tells us time and again how well they fit together; and feels so secure in their relationship that <i>"I don't think either of us ever had so much as a tinge of jealousy about the other."</i> Harry, I sincerely ask you to grant me this: just maybe, I mean just maybe, he could have taken a moment to consider that he was being punk'd. This episode could justifiably be viewed as a prank gone wrong, but it absolutely doe not make her a whore, nor heartless, nor cruel.<p>The crux of this story is a matter of <i>doubt</i> versus <i>trust</i>. <i>Doubt</i> led for most of the way, but it appeared to me that, at the end, <i>trust</i> won.

I generally like your work, but this one, frankly, SUCKED! Maybe I didn't get enough of his character from the first part of the set-up, but I would have extremely angry, & disgusted w/ her little "prank" for, if nothing else, the sheer disrespect that she showed for him & his feelings

In terms of the writing quality in this story and the author's ability to really tweak the reader, this story is a 100. But in terms of the plot itself, Heather goes way too far and there are too many ways this marriage could end up in divorce with what she did. I would have emptied the accounts and the valuables and split.

I would have turned around walked to the bedroom packed my things and without a word ambled calmly out the door. British humor has its quirks and cruelties (ala Monty Python) and granted many Americans do not find it funny. But this "joke" was as others have pointed out simply mental cruelty and went on too long and reached a point where she went too far. Someone right now is going, "But it is only a story and can't just lighten up?" As I said, if my wife had pulled this prank in exactly the same manner, my answer to that person would be, "No way!" That was unacceptable. So while I continue to believe he is a terrific writer, I found the plot was not in the end very plausible - maybe if he made the husband a moron that would have worked, but he made him a likable and intelligent man, so his acceptance of the joke did not work for me.

This story doesn't fit in with the other "NO WAY"! The teasing I can get to a point, but now there is a VERY BIG TRUST GAP. What did she really do while she was gone. Hubby is way to wimpy for this one.

If I had known the poster WELL DONE was in fact you I would of said things differently. Perhaps I should given your point of view a 3rd look/ consideration.

<br></br>

well I have. I think the world of your reviews and insight but in this case your analysis is crap. I am NOT saying you are wrong in the absolute sense... but for me it is. You are missing key ideas.

<br></br>

FIRST look how many reviewers here do NOT agree with YOU and do agree with ME!!.. at least in Part. And some of these posters RARELY if ever agree with me about anything.

<br></br>

SECOND Your assertion <i>As to their role playing, what do you know about it? </i>... is idiocy to the Nth degree.

<br></br>

IF this was one of those JPB stories or Palles stories were the husband & wife go to a bar and she pretends to be a hooker or single and gets herself all hot and bothered

nd they go home and fuck like bunnies... THEN your argument makes sense.

<br></br>

<b> My wife pretending I am James Bond while we fuck is NOT the same thing as her telling me she is has fallen for another man while away on a buiness trip and am going to another coutry to fuck him for a few days. </b>

<br></br>

Those two things are NOT the same.

<br></br>

THIRD would you agree that sometimes practical jokes can go to far?

<br></br>

would you also agree that in THIS case the Husband who at first was somewhat sexually stimulated... made it clear to Heather over the phone how unacceptable and worried he was about her Misbehaving & cheating?

<br></br>

Didnt he scream into the phone? didnt he BEG his wife not to do this ?

<br></br>

can you tell me Phillip which part is the funny part?

Disdain was earned by the writer not with her antics but by the wimps excitement over someone else fucking his wife.<P>

Typically British - not humour but sought humiliation.<P>

You writer could be much more than this absurdity about a weak man seeking helpless male disrespect.

Hey some of you guys are just so serious. Get a life and enjoy yourself as I do, partly by writing what many of my readers fortunately see as simply amusing little stories.

Re the critisism --- I did make a great point of pointing out that he knew his wife was a tease--- that he did actually several times think that she might be teasing him --- that she kept asking if what she was telling him was turning him on ---- that she left the note, just incase the joke went wrong and she could explain --- that he could easily check up her story with other people --- that they were used to playing jokes on one another ---that he did point out to her that he thought she'd gone a bit too far.

How much more transparent do I have to make my plots so that you can all follow them? Please if you are going to continue to read my stories, then lighten up a bit. Life is too short to take fiction too seriously. Thanks a pile anyway for bothering to read and especially making a comment. Good or bad, it is what makes it all worthwhile.

dont try to explain yourself, they wont understand.

whatever you write will be killed. i dont even think

they read what you write. and if they do, i am glad

i cant follow their line of thinking most of the time.

i liked the story for the teasing entertainment it was.

thank you.

Brtease.. instead of tellig 33 readers to lighten up why do you get a fucking spine asshole? Its clear you cant even read your own stories correctly.

<br></br>

sure the first couple of nights/phone calls Heather was teasing him. Sure the 1st couple of times he knew she was "teasing" him ... or playing him as it were.

<br></br>

sure he was a Bit turned on.

<br></br>

THIS is NOT being turned on folks. This is NOT Playing

<br></br>

<b><i>What!" I screamed down the phone. "What the fuck do you mean by that Heather? --- What the hell do you mean ----- got back to your own room this morning?"

<br></br>

Then I started to think about the note she'd left, and the truth of her visit to Paris dawned on me.

<br></br>

The cow ---- the bloody cow. She had all this planned in advance. </i></b>

<br></br>

I do think it is amusing that angiequesophie is trying really hard to be "cool" and "sophsiticated"

playing around"

Harry:

I know there is an element here who may choose not to agree with your comments simply because they come from you. They're wrong. More often than not, my reactions are pretty much in accordance with yours. Not always, but many times. I admire and appreciation your passion, and your dedication to who is usually the underdog in a great many of these stories: the husband. And no one nearly as well dissects a story as you do. I readily admit that reading your remarks has oftentimes helped shape my perception of a story. But please understand this, Harry. While it may be comforting to see others share your same opinion, it is not necessarily an indicator that yours is the only one to hold. As the old adage goes, "Might does not make right."<p>Now for me, one last time about this story. The husband tells us that they, as a couple, mesh perfectly. Mesh = Ardent love. Yes? The husband further tells us that his wife is a regular prankster. This implies that it is a game she plays with him often. Since she does so often, I extrapolate from that knowledge that he has not objected or else she most probably would have ceased the practice. Lastly, the husband tells us they have never experienced a moment of jealously. Lack of jealousy = trust. Would you agree? With all of that in mind, why would a husband who completely trusts his wife, a wife who he knows pulls pranks, so readily accept the idea that she would have an affair? With all of his experience with her playing pranks, why would he not have considered the telephone calls another prank? From what the husband told us about the relationship, his wife having an affair and rubbing his face in it would have been totally out of character. And the clue she left was so obvious, I don't understand why he didn't immediately get it. So, as in the logic in which I see this: <i>out-of-character + often-playing-pranks = she's-pulling-his-leg.</i><p>You questioned why he would smother her with kisses. Harry, I know you have children. Imagine one of them as a teenager who is not home long after weekend curfew. You will initially become angry. As time goes by, you will become concerned. After more time, you will become worried. With your child still not home, the worry will consume you. When he/she finally comes home, your immediate reaction will not be to express your anger, but to feel the incredible relief that your child is safe. While your anger may lurk and burn under the surface, I would imagine you would first take a moment to embrace your child and savor that joy of relief. Imagine the husband's relief when he saw his wife standing there. That is why the he smothered her with kisses.<p>Your assertion that this was a joke gone too far definitely has merit. But, despite what some have suggested, it is certainly not cause to "torch the bitch." And don't forget, it would appear that others were in on this as well: her parents and, most likely, her friend Wendy. If he becomes sincerely pissed off, he needs to also speak with them. And I can understand if you see no humor in all of this. We all have different stands as to what we think is funny. I didn't guffaw when I read this story, but I certainly thought it to be well done.<p>My best, Harry,<p>Philip

when you feel like having fun. I read quite a few

of the comments before reading the story and I was

sure that he had been wiped out by her game, and was

ready to suggest a divorce based on incompatibility.

<P>

Because even if she had not got it on in Paris

she deliberately tried to convince him that she did

and that by itself.... But... they deserved each other

and he did get excited except in the last round which

lasted as long as he took to read the note.

<P>

Though he was kind of dense about the note....

<P>

Just the title called me to read a fine consequences tale which this was not...

Putting one over on the audience is not always a

good idea...

Have to admit the I always felt that fantasies

about other people was a dangerous idea!

the author did not put this in the "humor" section is that it is NOT funny or humorous. <p>

nor is it very serious. <p>

nor is it "creative" nor interesting, as some lame readers said. <p>

it is just silly nonsense. and stupid. most adults, if they read adult oriented sites/literature, know humor, HAVE some humor.

She replied. "To get you back for doing your James Bond thing to me the other week." So what did Jack do other than dress up like James Bond? How is that a prank since they had role played being different people? I really did not get the idea that role playing was the same as pulling pranks like someone taking your clothes at a beach leaving you naked. Also Jack who knew his wife so well was taken in by her stunt. Heather did not come off as this master prankster. You could feel his rising anguish and terror as this fake seduction got worse every day. I do not understand how the statement that there is no Canadian Office would be insurance when she is supposed to be in Paris? Was it a prank - yes it was. So do they pull bigger and bigger ones on each other? He would have to avoid the lover type prank because she would know it was a prank to get even with her. Jack could pretend to die in a car accident so he can see which one of his friends try to hit on her? Jack could pretend to get in an accident and lose his memory/abilty to get an erection (via drugs) to see how she will handle the situation. Perhaps Jack could convince Mike to try to seduce Heather using some fake pictures of his "fling with a hooker." Jack could pretend to be so upset about her prank or that she has a lover (maybe he could plant evidence) that he is depressed and fske his death/start divorce proceedings. Jack could pretend to be so aroused from her little prank that he get them invited to a swinger party where everyone pretend to get started but stops when she gets her clothes off. That will get her!

cried Heather, laying the flowers at his grave, "That Jack had a heart condition." LOL. Great un-Valentine Story. STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.

kind of like a dream sequence and the person steps out to find it was unreal?

I loved it. Held my interest start to finish. Beautiful well told story.

Heather cried over the grave. "I didn't know he kill himself!" (After her last call Jack thought) "How long had she been cheating on me? I wearily pulled myself up...pulling open the drawer to the small desk...There it was! The note...One little note that signalled the end of my life as I knew it."...the end of my life as I knew it, the end of my life as I knew it, the end of my life as I knew it. I couldn't take it any more; I picked up the loaded Walther PPK I kept in the back of the drawer and...Hey, GREAT "LOVING" WIFE STORY, NOT!!

Heather cried over the grave. "I didn't know he kill himself!" (After her last call Jack thought) "How long had she been cheating on me? I wearily pulled myself up...pulling open the drawer to the small desk...There it was! The note...One little note that signalled the end of my life as I knew it."...the end of my life as I knew it, the end of my life as I knew it, the end of my life as I knew it. I couldn't take it any more; I picked up the loaded Walther PPK I kept in the back of the drawer and...Hey, GREAT "LOVING" WIFE STORY, NOT!!

If indeed the wife’s big idea of having fun at her free time was spending time away from her husband while pulling grand scheme pranks at her spouse (sounds kind of sad and pathetic to me…), the least I could say is that it was a bad prank. It was both crude and cruel. Upon seeing how distressed the husband was (what's the point of it if both sides do not enjoy it?), the wife could have toned it down (or better yet - end it!), rather than escalate it..<P>

There are in LW few stories which put at center the theme of ‘the prank which went too far' (how can the spouse who was teased really know that it really was only a prank; should there be a revenge, and so on). Here you made it abundantly clear that it really was a prank, but as far as the background you provided on the couple, it just did not make much sense. They liked to fantasize but not to actually include a third person in their sex life; we don't know that the husband ever liked any of his wife's other pranks (or what they were all about); finally, the overarching theme of your series is - how shall I best put it - at least a somewhat resilient or a non -wimpy husband (hence the "No Way Honey.." in the title). Here it seems like it would have been more appropriate to call the story: "All the Way Honey - you may run over me"

Another great story thanks. Got to stop and get some sleep sometime tonight

I wonder if she found an empty home when she got what would she think?

Or If she wound up on the wrong side of a pistol if it would still be funny...

a complement to your writing, but not to your plotting. Another commentator mentioned that he wondered how she would feel if she came home to an empty house. Empty of everything including hubby. So good and convincing and creating DOUBT, that he can never again trust her. She did not play with matches; she played with an acetylin torch and did not give him the mask to protect his eyes. The first time she talked the way she did, he should have hung up and gone to Paris to verify. I wonder what the French do to husbands who kill their wife and her lover? Maybe, he goes to her room and tells her not to return from her conference and even gets to sue the company mucky-muck that she fucky-fuck with and then the company gets to pay him a large sum too. I think English Divorce law is a little different from California law. Adultery is messy there. Or maybe she really is just teasing; but he has no evidence at the end of the story and assumes that she is faithful. I am a firm believer that seeing is believing and her game has ended the possibility of being sure and believing. Again, complements for creating such a vivid image of her cheating, but just too good a job.

She fucked as a part of work, she is a whore. She can say it was all made up, it was a joke, it never happened. But for him the reality was her phone calls and I would have the locks changed hwen she arrived and her shit on the lawn in boxes ready to go. Who needs a woman like this, no one!

I kind of got the idea that she thought that her prank would turn him on because of the role playing. Let's face it, when she got home they had some really exciting sex probably caused in part by his relief from all that anxiety. Which just served to reinforce her prankish behavior and more than likely cause it to escalate in the future. Dangerous game. I did like the suggestion that one reader had about moving out but instead of really doing it just make it look like he did and stay with a friend for a couple days. Take a few days off work for "personal reasons" and then have Josie call his home looking for him. Now that's payback. A fun story but I would have liked to have seen you take it a bit further, back and forth leading to the eventual and probable conclusion. Thank you

If he beat her up as part of a game and then said "oops, it was all a game dear" would that be OK. She was vicious and cruel. You don't get to say "just kidding" after something like that. Screw her. With a "loving wife" like this who needs enemies.

the thought of your wife having sex with someone else gives you a hard-on? No Way Honey - Britease

This is a good piece of writing. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

"Woman you have been served", ...... would be a nice surprise for her. In Literotica, at least, Divorce papers are made instantly out of thin air and would have been served on her as she walked in the door...

What a terrific real life end to the "Practical Joke".

. . . . . From the darkside of

Kilroy

You are a good writer and this story is no exception. Having said that, I cannot believe ANY self respecting husband would put up with the crap his wife put him through. I would have expected a different slant on the story from his side. Technically, this story is great, subject matter wise--sorry, it sucks.

and would have left a detailed comment but, having read the previous comments I think all points are covered. The mere fact of there being such a vigorous correspondence suggests that it sparked emotions.

Sorry, I must add one after all: if it had been real (it IS only a story) she risked coming home to an empty flat. In fact there has been some chat on how he could have teased her back. Going missing for two or three days might have worried her.

not read your god damned stories, I hope you won't mind if I choose not to anymore.

Thanks for sharing a funny little story.

You know you're a real jerkoff Brit. what the fuck.

If I wasn't so pissed off I'd laugh.

HA HA

are in great danger of getting bitten. TK U MLJ LV NV

Dear God! You'll never know how much I wish I'd thought of doing something like that!

Women are life support systems for their cunts with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. EXCEPT if you bury their heads in the sand you can use them as bicycle stands

A man more like my self would have locked her out and ignored her calls until the weekend she said she would be home. Even then, I would profess not to believe her, nor allow her into the house. With proof that it was a joke in bad taste, slowly leather back in. Similar story but more drama and perhaps a more satisfying ending.

But then again, I didn't write the story. Enjoyed it.

Chilley

please add footnotes and diagrams for people of Harryin VA's level of intelligence - perhaps even make every third sentence read 'This is just a story that I made up.' Obviously, if it hasn't got a studio-added laughter track, it can't possibly be funny - you should know that if you've watched American TV.

The upshot is that I see one spouse using the sum trust & love accrued during the duration of a marriage to push their partner's buttons & leverage that to inflict mental torture. Some people enjoy having their buttons pushed in this manner. I don't. Maybe the husband does & can punk with love as well as Heather.

The story ends with her chortling in satisfaction at the ruse and him fuming & fumbling at any kind of meaningful retribution. The balance of power is very far askew. This doesn't auger well in the long term.

I don't agree with some of the commenters up here. I know that this is the loving wives category and most of the stories are about cheating, but you get a character who didn't actually cheat and people are still upset. They would have tried to end the marriage over a joke? I seriously doubt that. If he didn't have a reason to distrust her before this, why would he still suspect her of cheating when he realized it was a joke. If your level of distrust is that high that you would feel the need to verify every part of her "joke" then you will never be happy in any relationship. She was playing with his head. It was a joke! Get some therapy people.

I loved the story. Heather was terrific! Only a couple utterly and totally in love could handle a trick like Heather played. She had total confidence in her husband, and he recovered nicely.

Now let's remember this was just a silly little story. I can't recount how many times where I've read about the guy who catches his wife in his own marital bed with another man only to slink away to decide what to do. You know what I mean; 'I have to get pictures, I need proof so I can win in the divorce, I have to buy a lot of electronic crap so I can prove what I saw, and only then can I burn the 'B'. Those guys are the real wimps. Then sometimes I read a story where the guy gets the baseball bat and emasculates the interloper. That's my kind of guy.

Some of you guys, you know who you are, wimped out, and now the only way you can get your rocks off is to complain about some fictional account you find on the Internet.

I guess the closest to reality I've read here would be DQS's WWWM, and even that went a little off the charts when our hero took his boat trip.

What I'm saying is the best stories involve the discovery, the disbelief, the heartache, and the attempts to reconcile the reality with the broken dream.; think of poor Early's discovery regarding Susan.

Although the wife may have played it a little too hard. As the commentators have mentioned (they do get fired up over a story - don't they?) some men might have sought to dump her. Some that were insecure might have done worse. But if this was their relationship (the teasing and playing) he should have been a little more prepared for her games. Maybe not answered the phone for a couple of days? Maybe checked at her workplace and with her parents if he was really paranoid. But I, for one, would like to see a sequel where he played a game on her. After all - payback can be fun! Or the old cliche, "Don't get even, get ahead!"

The point of a practical joke is for the joker to humiliate the victim by showing in some grandiose fashion how powerful the joker is and, correspondingly, how impotent the victim is. Practical jokes are sadistic and cruel, the more elaborate the joke, the meaner and more sadistic they are.

Oh, how funny! But only to the bully. The victim always suffers.

1* for this miserable piece of crap about a miserable piece of crap.

Although this is supposed to be a fantasy, it didn't work. Why didn't it work? Because it was too cruel. There are certain things you don't play around with. Sort of like screaming out "FIRE" in a theater or other public place. The point being; there is real pain and mental anguish. I didn't like the story for the aforementioned reasons in spite of it being extremely well written. Thank you for your effort.

of blowing the wrong mind, TK U MLJ LV NV

Nicely written. All the tension of a carnival ride. Trouble is, sometimes a ride will make you sick. Appreciate all your stories thus far....hope you have more in the offing.

Well written and a good read, a tension is built and maintained almost to the end. A joke albeit a quick one liner or a more protracted practical is only funny if the victim thinks it's funny, tact and being sensitive is important you don't tell a graveyard joke to someone who has recently lost a loved one. Heather has no sensitivity, it's border line mental cruelty to carry out that sort of joke over a few days, a five minute wind up can be funny but I think Heather is "away with the fairies".

You forgot to include the last line:

When the dust settles, Jack says "its a good thing you came home when you did - tomorrow morning right after I stopped throwing up and crying, I was going to start divorce proceedings."

You seem to like your characters to "come out even". That might have done it.

He should probably checked to make sure she was telling the truth. What a great way to cover up an affair and fuck with his mind the entire time. What she did was cruel, plain and simple.

He's the Best Man, he hadn't met all the bridesmaids before the wedding?

So why was he so surprised to see Heather?

Yes, she was a little too hard to him, but it all ended well...Imagine if went out also....

I would have knocked the bitch out cold

But how is she "getting him back?) All he did was put a tux on and seduce his wife in role play that was an extension of established practice. Her actions were somewhat cruel if anything, can he really believe her? Maybe she did have a fling, I'd be tempted to not believe her, be quite angry at her she'd get no smothering kisses from me that day. Thanks for the sleepless nights bitch.

This is one of your most awful stories, sorry. My second least favorite of yours, and the only 2 I read I gave 1 star to.

Not the quality of writing, but the attitude. She is a cruel, heartless bitch who didn't care whatsoever how much she hurt the man she professed to love (and clearly doesn't).

The husband needs to check the lost and found to see if he can find his spine, or perhaps his wife’s panty drawer for his balls. By the time this young lady returned home I would have her divorce papers waiting, then we could see how funny that would be.

For her pratical joke, I would of gotten divorce papers and left them on the bed. On the last page in very large type written, "FAKE PAPERS". Let her figure it out.

... but what happened to you when you were writing this? Do you honestly think any guy with a spine would have been so accepting of the "joke" the way your hero was? No way she's not cheating on him. No way is this a happily ever after story.

so she makes you beleave she cheated as a joke ?? sorry but that just dont fly with me a 1

I think Rhett Butler had said it best, Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

Fantasy is one thing, this however would destroy any trust in the marriage. Yes it may have been a "Joke", but to my mind it was taken way too far, and from then on anything she ever told him about any trips away, or any delays coming home suddenly become suspect. He won't even realize it, it will be totally subconscious but, he will have lost any trust in her leading to a slow decline of the marriage. Thanks for the offering, but not one of your better works to my mind..

lucky he didn't go out and get laid.

Wife went too far. Divorce will show her how he really feels about having his feelings screwed with.

The story could have been much more interesting with hubby having more honesty with wifey and with a stronger backbone.

Trust and verify. I would check every part of her story, before I let her come home.

Well, Brittease has always leaned to the cucky side, so........

Funny,,,,😀

I assume you go to funerals to laugh at the family of the deceased.

I'd of left her. Gone. Fin. Mental cruelty.

To be fair, she got him good.

Now for his turn, he needs to go through with a divorce to "get her turned on and worked up a bit". After all, the demented bitch seems to think that torturing your spouse emotionally is hugely arousing...

A little too much tease. Need a little payback.

“A little payback”?

“Teasing”

Look, your partner is expected to be a good *friend*

Someone who helps you through Life’s difficulties and you there for them.

If ‘pranks’ and ‘teasing’ - which create genuine distress amuse you, I’ve gotta think you haven’t yet discovered how harsh Life can be, how importantly friendship depends upon trust.

“Oh, I - or we - we’re just having a go!”

No. Just ‘go’ away.

with them subjective experiences can be more real to your brain than objectively verifiable reality

From an emotional stand point she made him think she cheated in him, and was planning to do so for another week, objective reality notwithstanding

Were I in a relationship with a woman who did this it would be over

Here is how the story should end. After their ferocious lovemaking, he should have said to her , " remind me to call my divorce lawyer on Monday morning to stop action " then roll over and go to bed.

...name is Heather. This couple are paddling crotch-deep in shark-infested waters...and there are fins all around.