All Comments on 'No Welcome Home - Weeping is Over'

4 stories in and all disappointing so far.

not much is added to the original. all in all this story isn't really LW material.

ones lifestyle dictates the present time and space, TK U MLJ LV NV

I was really looking forward to Jake Rivers participation in this FARCE of legends as he was one of three writers I do consider to be legends. Disappointment strikes again. A reprint of a story I had already read, as I have already voted on this I will not repeat vote....

Sad very sad, this was a major disappointment. I expect a much better story than this, I feel like I just threw away 15 minutes of my life reading this. Sorry, you are much better than this.

This version is over twice as long as the original, with more new material than was in the original story. There are a number of new characters. Many of the questions readers' asked about were addressed.

About 25% of the original story has been changed in some manner.

This version of the story is edited much better.

I do appreciate feedback: good, bad & anything in between.

Thanks for reading.

Jake

I thought this was a significant advance for the story and that you handled it very, very well. I would score it between 4.60 and 4.70 if I had that option. Since I don't, it gets a five. Thank you, Randi

Having read all the previous versions of this story I can say that this is probably

the most polished one. Thank you, Jake.

Again, a story that wastes so much time and words in needless detail, with no story substance of intrigue.

It's like a walk down memory lane. I hope to see more stories from you in the future.

but so did he

and his family

I have read most of your stories & enjoyed the majority.

however, we NEEDED to have confirmation that his plan with the wife worked.

Read all the recommended previous stories. This is a good one, but I’m wondering about how Wanderer would have finished. I was really intrigued with his. After reading some of the comments, I think some would bitch about being hung with a new rope.

Not only the original story was from someone else,but places,names and everything was all over the place.

I am really disappointed,was hoping for more. LW category seems dead

Story this seems like it might be it. The geography lesson was nice. I think there were 11 countries, 5 states, 4 continents a half dozen languages. If Umberto Eco were mainlining Adderall this is the story he would write. Glibness aside, it was an entertaining read as I tried to figure the details out beforehand. This was definitely worthy of Legends Day. Thanks 5*

The story was all over the place, I was a bit confused at times. What happened to the wife? I thought the story would pick from where it ended but it was just a boring mess. The story is also quite unrealistic. First off: charging someone with murder with no body is damn near impossible. There would be an investigation. I didn't care for the original story so, this didn't do anything to change my mindset. I thought this version was unnecessary as it didn't add anything new to the original. I knew he faked his death, what was this version suppose to be? Literotica LW category is starting to suck.. These "new" stories are so bland, boring, unrealistic and emotionless, just a bore to read. I haven't read 1 good story.. Legends my ass.

not nearly as good as the original story. Singular lack of subtlety in the plot when compared to the British (Wanderer's) version of this story. Really, it was unrecognizable as being a continuation of his story in any form (recognizing that you did say in a way it was a re-write)

Did I miss the part where you told us what happen to the wife or do we just assume everything went the way he planned it?

Now we know why Dave had no past. Put this together with your other version and The Wanderer's originals and you get a complete story.

A couple of minor nitpicks

Air Force Police are Security Police we called them SPs

It is Safe Deposit Boxes (not safety) but 90% of folks say it the way you did anyway.

I like all of your stuff Jake. Keep it coming.

a great story. I have no idea how you transitioned from the original to 'Dave's' story but what a leap. I have always liked your stuff and this was right up there. thanks for sharing.

fun read. But your not done,ya see Jim Phillips gets Sandra out of jail to work for an alphabet agency as a..... and you could put it in "LW" just to piss people off.

A nice intricate tale. There isn't the emotional angst of a ruined marriage, but rather we get a travelogue of a life. I wish I could speak other languages fluently like this. Regarding the Catholic stumbling block, it is pretty common to get around such things, especially when the wife is abandoned. Anyhow it is just a piece of paper. The wife Sandra was quite a cold fish and, though she was concerned about her missing husband, she didn't have any depth to her. Just another cheating wife we've grown to expect on the LW site. Ignore the knitpicks and vapid criticisms of the usual anon crowd.

Nothing but a coward. His wife did not deserve what she got. All she did was cheat. Not good but not what as and as she got.

She still clearly loved him, didn't degrade him, and was still loving and there for him. I just hate guys who are so cowardly and insecure that they can't face up to life and run away. Stupid. He cut his own nose off to spite his fact. Idiot.

Hope he rots in hell.

to the original tale and rewrite. Filled in a lot of blanks and a nice read

Five Stars!

Even a mediocre lawyer got her off. No solid evidence, no body and he's a writer. Once the Police figure out his background, she got off and kept all the marital assets when she filed for and received a divorce based on abandonment. She's happily remarried to some rich guy living the life of Riley. He, on the other hand, is trying to start over from nothing. Not a nice guy. Didn't enjoy this story at all.

We know from the original author that Sandra did her full time in prison as she refused to make a plea bargain. Can't recall for sure, but I believe it was something like 15 years.

Thanks for your story JakeRivers!

Many people do not realize that conspiracy to murder can sometimes can come with a longer sentence than the murder itself.

In this particular case there is ample evidence of conspiracy.

Sandra even testified to that in her helping convict Andrew.

Nice tale, though the structure was a bit off, the ending would have more punch if it was shifted around and fleshed out a bit so it ended with Maria and them being happy together.

Ending on the point it did just felt anticlimactic.

In the original story, his parents are dead and he had no siblings, so that bit of the story was unnecessary.

inconsistencies from "Before I Weep".

Setting up you wife and lover to a life in prison for being an adultress. Faking your death .why go that far in your quest for payback. This story is so unbelivable that a man would change his life over a pussy. . He could have closed all the accounts ,an absconded with every assets leaving her broke and desperate. Much easier than this crazy lot you wrote. Let her divorce him and suffer.

BTB too vindictive! Flat ending. What happened to her after he set her up? Basically well written but incomplete.

Must do if his spouse cheat on him. And only strong man has the guts to plot revenge it is not everyone's game.

Hooking up with what probably is the only woman under 60 in Lisbon who is against divorce on account of her Catholicism... Then again baybe he should try is luck at Casino Estoril if he is living in Cascais. He seems to be able to hit the one in a million chance regularly.

Also, vinho verde em Lisboa? Uncommon. Not impossible, but highly uncommon...

Didn't like the orginal story, this one didn't add that much either...

I didn't care for the over-the-top story very much, It was put together well I guess, but it just wasn't interesting.

He made two disrespectful cocksuckers suspicious of each other, while making sure that they both got what they deserved and a place to enjoy it in.

I agree that after they were arrested, the mountain of evidence that convicted them at their trials and the severity of their life w/o parole sentences should have been included in the story.

Once a year, on the date of his 'death', he should have sent her a post card that has notes like this typed on it... "HOW SMART DO YOU FEEL NOW?" ... "YOU'RE SMARTER THAN WHO??" ... "IF YOU'RE SO SMART, WHY ARE YOU THERE?" or " 'LIFE' IS BEAUTIFUL. ENJOY IT."

Here's a variation on the quote that JR used.... "He laughs last who's alive to do it."

Not too vindictive for someone that has the means. But what revenge it would be if Sandra was just to see him after her release, not a reconciliation but just enough for her to know that she spent a lot of her life in prison for his revenge and not because her lover framed her.

I guess I made the mistake of reading all 4 chapters of "No Welcome Home" in one sitting. Two by the Wanderer and two by Jake Rivers. To say I'm a bit confused is an understatement. Some of the sections are repeats and if you skip around enough you really lose track of who's on first and what's on second. I think I have it straight now...our hero (whatever his name is now) is happily enmeshed with Maria and is looking forward to living happily ever after.

I think his revenge is way over the top. He was betrayed, so he should confront her and divorce her. To send her and that sleezebag of a lover to jail for 16 years is not only excessive, it was criminal. What he did was indeed criminal and if Sandra was able to build up the necessary evidence he would end up in prison for a long stretch himself. And he gave up over a million dollars in assets on top of the need to go into hiding for the rest of his life. The story (if you couldl extract the relavent parts and make it easily coherent) was creative and well written, but the theme and the lesson to be learned really sucked. I gave it a 3* and recommend that if Jake Rivers ever starts to write again he should stick to his really good romances.

Which, of course, brings up the real mystery of this story. The final installment is dated in 2017 while the rest of The Wanderer and Jake's stories are dated in the 2006-2008 period. Is Jake back? Was the date of the last installment a typo? I do hope he's still writing although I see nothing on his list for the last 10 years. Here's hoping!!!

I took the warning about what to read first as a challenge. I don't think any sort of backfill would have prepared me for what I just read. The story felt ad-hoc...like a collection of paragraphs that should be have been inserted into a story, but they're not. Maybe that was the goal? Well, I disagree with that goal.

I felt less negative about the story where "bud" is used 237 times, where this guy's bud asks to fuck his wife for a birthday gift...bud...and his bud ends up riding off into the sunset with his bud's wife. Half the story was "bud", lighting cigarettes, smoking them, and taking sips of...you guessed it, Bud! Maybe this comment is a bit over the top, but there was potential, and I felt a bit let down. Sorry.

The first story was good this one almost put me to sleep it sucks so bad it hard to put it into words other you need a rewrite.

What tripe. Boring, unbelievable and just plain dumb. Only thing missing was for him to become a king in some country.

So many writers on this site write a Catholic character, who is so religious that they can't at all get a divorce, or an abortion, but its perfectly okay to cheat, isn't that wrong for a Catholic too?

Great story of infidelity and the revenge it incurred. Great backstory, but needed.more about the wife's reaction to her problems. Other than that, good job.

I got about a page and a half into this and realized that I had no clue of what was happening. And I didn't care either. It read like a TV manual that was Google translated from Chinese. Nothing seemed to connect to anything else.

Not one of my favorites.

My only complaint is that of course cheating tales need the angst from the cheaters detailed to make it complete.

You completely changed the story, you had to make it American faa. that neams it stinks.

This is a ridiculous story. He could have had them both disappeared for a tenth of the assets that he left behind!

Lots of writing but no real message or entertainment. you can give yourself a big pat on the back for being a tourist guide if that is what your seek. All that effort to stick it to the cheaters and no real conclusion as to if/what happen to them.

A big miss for me, 3*

Still looking for a story in this mass of words. Reminds me of my “What I did on my summer vacation” essays in grade school. There really isn’t anything tangible here for a reader to hold onto.

No I am

A literary case of blue balls. there's so much more that can be written about this , then again we're not going for a oo7 are we. Other wise quite enjoyable despite the lingering pain. Lol

I can't get to the protagonist's reasoning. He causes pain and loss to family, loses everything he worked for, left his chosen life's work, all just for what he sees as revenge on his cheating wife....Sorry..Not buying it. Bad plot, technically well written.

A lot of words well written but - I'm not really sure. Escape from the mob, no contact with family, let his wife go to prison for 20 years for having an affair. I know he was mad at her but isn't it all a bit extreme? Still enjoyed your travelogue and you can write but I think he should have had his contact arrange for her release.

I've read this story a number of times, and after each, I felt that there was/is so much left on the bone.

I still gave this story a 5, and appreciate all of Jake Rivers work.

Weak

5 stars - I like this story - please write more.

I think if Jake ever gets tired of writing stories for this site he should try his hand at writing travel guides. He’d be good at it, he certainly makes some of the places he writes about here sound attractive. Anyway, very nice story, this one. I wish there was a little more to it, but then I always do. Thanks, Jake.

I really do not see the point of tying this into the original way off target. Would have been better if tried as a stand alone. It also rambled and roamed way off plot too many times.

Well, it was a long story but filled with details that still left a lot unanswered.

Needs Sandra’s side and the fallout.

Awesome travel guide!

Would have been interesting to here the wife's reaction.

Very well written but a very strenge ending.

Okay, I'll admit it was kinda entertaining, but from logical point of view, was it really worth all the trouble for the mc? Especially if he had such amount of resources, could've done it much simpler and without abandoning his settled life, something like framing with drugs, I dunno, there are a lot of options.

So no 5 here, sorry. 4/5

If killing them isn’t sufficient revenge, then it wouldn’t be much more complicated to buy an old warehouse, convert it into a prison, and then torment them for as long as you want!

ZK

Sorry I wasted my time reading crap like this.

Too much fucking drama just for 2 cheaters!!

yea would have been easier to set them up as drug runners or fraud and still given them a jail term - perhaps not as long but he would not have missed out on the lost funds etc so 4 given

Casual murican wet fantasy about military

Sorry. Life in prison is NOT justice, even for a cheating skank.

Good story, but I do feel bad for Sandra. She was drugged multiple times, essentially raped and corrupted by "Andrew". The sad truth is that some of those drugs really heighten arousal and can make sex feel amazing (which is why people take them recreationally) so it's not too far fetched that someone could be drugged unknowingly, have what they consider absolutely amazing sex and then be slowly corrupted (especially in Sandra's case where she was drugged on multiple occasions).