All Comments on 'Norwegian Wood'

Congratulations on your courageous submission. In producing extended poetry in prose, IMO It walks the thin line between poetry and prose. It’s rare and I love this sub genre (because of its rarity?). You could have probably received more response in the poetry submission with some sententences divided between lines for the appearance of “poetry”. But you did not – good for you. It IS a story; not a poem. There is narrative, following an adventure in time and place(s). It visits themes of identity; sexuality and morality.

Your ‘gutsinees’should be applauded - you are not afraid to challenge the reader. To the most part it’s showing, with no mediator narrator summarizing or explaining.

There is one important aspect which, I feel, is weighing the story down. I refer to the unnecessarily elevated and fractured language. A simple non –literary jargon would have filled you r bill for this story so much better. In this almost stream of consciousness type of continuous present reporting, the normal language is what feels to me is the most natural tool. “The compulsion to defend my honor drops the words off my tongue right as I'm noticing their incongruence;” or: “her face is priceless. Anger and curiosity and flattered pleasure and offense all marbling together” – it’s beautiful but in a way that only someone who sits and carefully crafts each word to slow down and maximize the weight of each word would do. And I found myself not believing this report. She could not have been thinking in such flowery language at the time… I realize it’s an illusion but I felt I was somewhat robbed of it by the language. Still, it’s an impressive submission (especially a first). Please continue!