All Comments on 'Note to Self'

Hi Blin,

Very well written - great sense of language . . .

If this is a stand alone piece, the characters support your premise; if not, you've created enough space to make them touching and real in a longer story.

Your poignant breast examination offsets the touchy awkwardness of masturbation, although the philosophical reflections sound rather technical to my ear, appropriate for a longer, developed story.

You seem to enjoy writing about multiple characters. It is my hope you explore other genres as well. (Cancer Ward, A. Solzhenitsyn comes to mind ;- p)

M ~~~_/) ~~

I found that phrase ironic, because as I struggled through the first couple pages, I kept thinking, "Is the author ever going to get around to telling a story?"

IMO, this would have worked far better if you'd had her describe what actually happened first, and then had her react to it. Instead, you unload several hundred words worth of emotions on the reader before revealing any concrete information about what prompted them. This makes for a confusing, draggy opening.

Also, maybe it's a case of the journal format revealing more about a character than I want to see, but I just couldn't find it in me to sympathize with the MC. She seems, I don't know, whiny? Grating? A drama queen? In real life, I find such people annoying, and that made the process of looking inside the MC's mind quite an ordeal.

All this being said, it's obvious that you have talent, and that your prose is as finely crafted as it is in your other stories. Will all the semi-literate trash being dumped on the front porch of the Lesbian Sex section lately, stories like this are a breath of fresh air, so thanks for sharing it with us.

4/5

Actually the first girl on girl theme I've read to the end. The images drawn were very sweet. I was startled by the range between penny and baby's hand sized.

Always delighted to be notified of a new posting to be found.

I was soo waiting for their date and to find out what would happen to them when they finally see each other again. The buildup in the story was perfect for their upcoming date. The nerves and lustful feelings she was having could be felt as I read your story. I'm not always a fan of first-person stories, but the way you did it with he journal made it easier and enjoyable to read. I do hope you decide to continue the story. You have made the characters believable and I'm anxious to find out what happens.

I thrive in a well-written first person story, and this certainly fits the bill. I love how your protagonist is a strong woman - she has a tough job and holds her own and better with the guys, and obviously doesn't take any shit. Still, even rock and steel can have soft spots and the surprise coincidence of Susan's intrusion knocked her out of the norm. How does she recover? Will she ever be the same again?

Obviously the reader has hopes, especially given the posting genre, but regardless of what happens in the end this could be a great story - and this snippet alone is well worth the read.

5/5, will read again tonight.

Great story, nonetheless. The dialogue was very enjoyable to read and the characters were well-developed. A sequel would be fantastic, but this was already wonderful. Thanks for a great read.

Once again I am floored by your command of language and imagery. And I am delighted by this sensitive, multi-shaded examination of the complexity of human sexuality. The confusion, the self-questioning, by a woman whose life and sexual patterns were (she thought) straightforward and plain is palpable.

Thank you for a deeper reading of what it means to be a sexual being with complex and complicated feelings about herself, her inclinations, and her beliefs about herself and her world.

As always, I'm simply left to shake my head in admiration.

You say in your afterword that you're unsure if you are the person to tell the rest of the tale. Of course you are. This is an excellent story and it's a pity that it had to come to such an abrupt end: you've started it and somewhere along the line your Muse will show the way to continue. I think there is a hell of a lot more story to be told. You have described Anna's internal conflict very well and it's certainly a pleasure to find a new (to me) writer on this site who can actually write. (I loved the line about '...a kinky topless rendition of Swan Lake...) So keep thinking about it, Belinda, and as we say in the UK, give it some welly!

Brian

Hello Belinda,

Thank you so much for posting this little story,it is such a beautifully written and deliciously horny tale!Please continue with it???

Love your work,

Lindsay.

I hate to be "that person" but as an anatomy nerd, the muscle behind the breast is the pectoralis, the "traps" is the trapezius on the upper back - its not gonna make the boobs bounce. Otherwise I can't wait to read more! Like I said, bit of an anatomy nerd, and again, sorry to be the Debby Downer....

@ilovedirtyjokes - yep you're that guy - the presumptive one.

She was doing shoulder shrugs, thus was working out the "traps". Vigorously, too; so the shoulders are going up and down a lot.

I get it, maybe you don't have boobs (never can tell with "that guy" people y'know) but there's lots of things that can get them bouncing - including rapidly shrugging ;)

I liked the darker introspective interludes with the lighter humor in other places. I found the writing to be superb as usual. This is different from your other stories, more personal with the character. Very well done.

Can't believe there haven't been any comments about this story. I hope this is only chapter 1 as I need to find out what happens when they meet up.

Really enjoyed this one.

i though this was a nice change of pace, i enjoyed reading it, and hope there is another one coming

5 Stars from start to finish.

Are we ever going to find out what happened on their first date?

The realism is what makes this story so responsive. The journal/diary/confessional entries were perfect - pulling the reader along with a smile and occasional roll of the eyes. She's a confident officer/mom/wife yet acts on paper like... a crushing teenager. And the reader "feels" that - impressive conveying in such span! Although a part of me "wants" to know how the drink date went, another part of me is content not to know... and, perhaps, let my own dream of the encounter tease me like Anna's clearly did her.

and?

Love this story! ❤️

This a really good story.