by masterhypnotist
great story, very hot. i read your other mind control stories i would like to request more including heavy incest.
I would love to learn what you do to improve my own experiences!
that was well-written, you had a thought-out plot, you expanded on the story, and it was HOT! loved the lesbian action to start and you finished really well. keep it up! we need good writers like you!
It was a decent story. Good plot. Some mistakes REALLY bothered me though: There were a few spelling errors, but nothing major, and I could have looked past it. You put the wrong name down for Kat 2 or 3 different times, and that's just really sloppy and lazy. Lastly, the story didnt have much passion in it. The whole time I was reading it, I imagined a really monotone voice describing what happened. Oh yes, and one more thing bothered me. In the beginning you made it seem like YOU were the one who needed some sex, and then through the story you didn't do anything with anyone except at the very end a single line mentioning "enjoying" Allison. But over all, this story was okay. Next time just proofread.
Another lovely story. I only wish that you would write some current stuff, Did you retire from writing?