Obsession Ch. 04

We came across a privately owned set of storage units, far off the road's path.

"I don't think we can be here." I clung to his arm as we walked around near the back of the facility. There was unlocked gate near the back.

"Trust me." He placed a hand on my lower back, guiding me in the dark.

We walked past blue doors with faded numbers painted above each one. We came to a stop near the middle of the second row of units. I glanced around, nervously, the night perfectly still. He produced a key and worked with the lock, struggling momentarily before gaining access.

"Go on," He gestured for me to open the door. I bent to pull the door up and lifted it up to waist-level before I noticed the dim glow from inside.

"On your knees." Julian gripped my hair at the nape of my neck in a low voice.

"What-" Panic shot through my body, I tested his grasp and felt some hair rip painfully from his grip. He held me still.

"Now, Cadence!" He forced me to the ground, my knees painfully dropped to the pavement. "Keep your head down, eyes on the floor. Get in."

On my hands and knees, I crawled into the storage unit, terrified at what I would see.

"Look what I have for you." He pulled the door down behind us.

I squinted against the dim yellowish light. Silver paneling lined the walls, the floor concrete save for a black tarp centered in the claustrophobic space under a bare mattress on the floor. Already it was extremely warm in the closed off space. From what I could tell, restraints were connected by long tethers beneath the mattress. The cuffs poked out at each corner. A box covered in a sheet sat at the foot of the mattress. Stunned, I could do nothing

but stare.

Still on my knees, I felt Julian gather my hair and pull it to the side in front of me, clasping a tight dog collar around my neck. He clipped a leash to the front and led me wordlessly onto the center of the bare mattress.

Sensing his calm, I looked up at him.

"Julian." I managed in a quiet, firm voice. Composed, despite the sirens blaring in my head. "What is this?"

"I know you're hurt by the other night. I wanted to apologize in a way that would leave you with no doubt that I had curated this for you."

He moved me like a ragdoll, clipping the chain leash to the top of the mattress, trapping me with his body as he made quick work of my wrists, securing them tightly. He then moved down to my ankles and did the same.

"Pull on them." He prompted, kneeling at my side. I wriggled weakly. "You need to actually test those for me." His voice grew a sternness that filled me with urgency. I pulled at the restraints and he adjusted until I was tied to his satisfaction. "Are you comfortable?" He moved my sweaty bangs out of my eyes and ran his fingers through my hair gently. I nodded.

"How . . . did you manage all of this?" I asked nervously.

"It's actually very simple. There are a surprising amount of resources available if you look and, of course, if you're creative enough. Bribery also helped."

"Bribery?"

"This isn't a 24/7 facility. They have security." He reminded me. "You would be shocked at how little they get paid."

"Oh my God."

"I wanted to give you an experience. Something you'd never forget."

"This is too much." I tried to reason, too nervous to test his temperament.

"Things are going to change in a matter of days. Things will grow complicated very, very quickly. I'll be moving in with Sara in no time. It will make it very hard for us to sneak around." He began rummaging beneath the mattress and pulled out a long metal bar with cuffs attached. Yanking my skirt up around my waist, he placed the spreader bar between my legs and fastened each end to my thighs, again, asking me to test it. I couldn't pull my legs together.

"You're still getting married?"

"Yes, of course." He said as though it were logical.

"You said she knew about us."

"She does." I could hear his effort to be patient with me. "I can't see you after tonight, Cadence. It's too risky. There's a lot I have invested in my relationship with Sara."

"Please, Julian. Can't we go back to my apartment?"

"And skip out on your abduction fantasy?" He raised his eyebrows pointedly.

"What?"

Julian pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"T_Brautigan asks, Next move, hardly. No judgment, but that's not one of my many (listed) interests. What are yours?" Julian read smugly, leaving me in shock. "Good girl, not going to a stranger's party." He praised before continuing.

"And then, ElleVeut replies: Oh, the usual. Nothing too crazy. Spanking, I like the idea of wax, light slapping. Sometimes breath play. I've always had this secret abduction fantasy. Forced play, but only with someone I trust. Nothing out of the usual."

I stared up at him. "This is seriously fucked up. How did you find me? I just made that account."

"Bad, bad girl, coming to meet a complete stranger. That was awfully reckless." He chided, rustling through his duffel bag. "What if he had an STD? There's no telling what kind of twisted shit a stranger could pull once he has you alone. Don't you know there are all kinds of abusive jerks out there aiming to prey on helpless girls like you? And for the record, your e-mail was linked to the account. You should try harder at hiding your second life."

"But you didn't even know about that . . . fantasy . . . until today." I protested.

"We have a connection, Cadence. It's undeniable." He pulled out a gag. "I had this planned for some time now, but you essentially asked for it by name. It was only luck that you're so desperate you told the first man who paid attention to you after me." It felt like being slapped.

"Julian no, no. Please." I began pulling desperately at the restraints. "Please, I'll be quiet. Please, please."

As he pushed the gag between my teeth, he hushed me like he was calming a trapped animal. I whined desperately through the gag.

He lifted the sheet at the foot of the mattress.

"This beauty will push your limits."

I craned to see a small but heavy machine between my feet with a black dildo attached. Having captured my attention, he played with controls and turned it on. It came to life, thrusting back and forth in the air making a remarkable amount of noise. I looked up at him in alarm as he switched it off.

"Incredible right?" He ran his fingers over the front of my panties, rubbing my clit through the fabric and moaning low in approval. His touch knew me, the pressure forcing my hips to buck. I barely moved for the ties keeping me still. Pulling out a small pocket knife from his pocket, he ignored my yelping protests as he yanked the seat of the undergarment and quickly cut through the fabric, leaving me exposed to him, the tattered fabric left me defenseless.

With some effort, Julian positioned the machine between my legs, fitting the head of a dildo to me, gathering moisture before pushing it inside of me, it felt larger than I had been accustomed to. He turned on a switch and there was a whirring as it came to life. It began moving independently inside of me, thrusting in and out of me slowly. I closed my eyes against the sudden sensation, unable to suppress a moan. Miniscule movements of my hips were all I could muster, and I felt no relief from the insistent rhythm. Calling out to him, desperate, I watched him peer over me, unaffected by the noise.

"I have an idea." He had a perfectly cool demeanor, standing back to watch me squirm. "This doesn't have to end after tonight." While still intense, I began to get used to the rhythm of the push and pull of the machine. I felt a deep pleasure begin to grow. "What if I kept you here?" I looked up in alarm. "Let's see. You broke up with your boyfriend. What is the policy at your little coffee shop? You stop showing up and they replace you in week?" I began to shake my head, begging behind my gag as my pussy contracted around the dildo. He toyed with the controls of the machine and it began to move more rapidly inside of me, making it impossible to adjust. "Do you think there would be a lot of questions if your belongings were moved out of our apartment building? What do you think our landlord would think, maybe you were some irresponsible kid? That you had moved in the middle of the night."

The machine droned loudly as it penetrated my sensitive cunt.

"Do you need help getting to that next orgasm?" He adopted a commiserative tone. "You're getting used to it beautifully, that big cock fucking you. You fucking whore. You need a big fat cock filling you constantly so you don't get bored and wander into some hotel bar, huh slut? Well look what I have for you." He pulled out a silver egg-shaped vibrator and tape. "I think this will help."

Working quickly, he knelt next to me. I could tell he was sweating in the heat of the small room. He nestled the small, still vibe against me and tore a piece of tape with his teeth, smoothing it over my mound. After checking his handiwork he pulled off the layers of formalwear until he stood in a wilted white undershirt and pants.

"There." He spat, dangling a small black remote control above me before switching it on. "There you go, slut."

My hips jerked with a flood of sensation. I had been riding the cusp of a climax, and with the quick humming vibrations on my clit, it was like being pushed off of a cliff. My stomach seemed to drop as the pressure mounted and overcame me. Eyes shut, I lost control as I could feel wetness flood around the relentless pounding of the dildo. My orgasm came explosively. I bawled into the gag as it was ripped from my body. I pulled at my cuffs to no avail.

"My beautiful slut, my play thing." Julian reached over and ran his hand over my temple down my cheek as I convulsed and rode the crest of intense feeling. There was no relief as the sensation seemed to flow in waves, orgasm after orgasm bled into one another. He pulled his hand back and slapped my face. I looked up in shock. He blanched for a moment and pulled his hand away, watching the pleasure peak again and again before him. Thinking better of it, he unbuttoned his zipper. I watched him reveal his thick hardness. His cock looked angry in its swollen state, the head beading with precum. He began frantically jerking off over me.

"Who do you think will come looking for you?" He growled at me. "I'll be your entire world and you'll love every moment of it." He spat in contempt, his fist pumping rapidly over his dick.

I surrendered to the sensation, no longer fighting the pleasure as it swelled and crested and numbed me all at once. The hurt and the vitriol and his stinging disdain, reduced me to my pulsing clit and pussy, throbbing and clenching and cumming for him. All thoughts were muddled and lost to a tunnel vision. I howled as I began to embrace the single-minded intensity. I wanted it to stop, and I didn't.

Intense doesn't encompass what that time was, but it's the only word that comes close. I had loved the intensity of our dynamic, had always wondered what it would be like at its peak and now I was staring it down and it was bigger and more frightening than I could have imagined. My world was the storage unit, it was the damp mattress beneath me and the omnipresent thrusting of the tireless machine and his cold, wrathful lust that didn't feel like sex anymore.

Julian cried out in that familiar, like a hurt animal. He came unceremoniously over my face and I shut my eyes to the degradation.

"You love it, don't you slut? You want to be my secret? Be mine for real? Tell me you want it!" He reached down, breathless, tearing the ball gag from my mouth.

"Fuck you!" I gasped with as much vitriol as I could muster.

He looked taken aback. "Cadence, what's your safe word?"

"Stop!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stop!" I sobbed.

"Fuck." He pulled back for a moment before turning off the machine, pulling it from me unceremoniously. "Why didn't you stop me before?" He seemed to begin to panic.

"You're fucking insane! Untie me!"

"Oh my God." He moved quickly to undo my restraints. "Oh God," He unclipped my thighs from the spreader bar and unlatched the leash from the top of the mattress.

I curled up in the middle of the mattress for a moment, allowing myself to weep, my body trembling violently. I accepted his dress shirt into my trembling hands, blindly to mop my face of my tears and his thick ejaculate and my total humiliation. I cried with relief, in grief. I felt a wave of exhaustion hit all at once.

"Are you okay?" Julian put a tentative hand on my shoulder.

"You will never fucking touch me again."

"Okay." He stood back, "Let's get you out of here."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I'll get a cab." I sat up on the mattress, my limbs jelly-like and weak. I readjusted my clothes to salvage what dignity I could. My hair had matted to my neck with sweat. I searched my purse, discarded by Julian upon entrance, for a hair tie and failed.

"Come on, Cadence. Do you know where we are right now? It would cost a fortune. Let me take you home."

I moved unsteady to my feet. Any imminent danger I would have been in had obviously passed. I didn't feel as though he would hurt me, and I truly had no guess as to where we were.

We walked through the darkness in silence. I carried my shoes in my hands, feeling feeble and unwilling to navigate the gravel path in heels. Back at the car, I climbed into the back while Julian walked around to the driver's side and had a short conversation in low tones. I caught the driver steal a glance at me. I shuddered to think of how I looked for my reddened face from crying, and the terrible humidity of the storage unit. I combed my fingers through my hair self-consciously.

The drive back to our apartment building felt excruciatingly long. I had calmed, for the most part but knew we must have looked miserable together, Julian anxiously avoiding eye contact. I, disheveled and shaken.

"Can you raise the partition, please?" Julian spoke to our driver.

The stoic man seemed to wait for my response.

"Please." I offered the ghost of a smile, grateful.

Once we were essentially alone, he turned to me. "I swear, I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think you'd like it." He spoke quickly.

"Have you done this to anyone else?"

"Of course not!"

"Are you going to do this kind of shit to Sara?" I had to know.

"God no." While the implication burned, I could tell it was the truth.

"Are you . . . are you going to tell anyone?" Julian's voice shook.

"I should." I glared.

"It would ruin my life." He whispered. I stared at him, pulsing with rage. He had some nerve.

The city seemed still at the obscene hour. I would usually never be out at night this late. I rolled my window down and let the wind whip my hair about. Once we were back in a neighborhood I recognized, I felt flush with relief.

"You don't need help ruining your life."

He took the sharp words and accepted them wordlessly. I knew he thought that he understood what I meant, but I didn't think he fully could comprehend how lonely he was, resigning himself to a life that appeared charmed to any outside observer. Tomorrow he would be wed to a beautiful woman that didn't understand him and likely never would. I imagined the fly tape of seduction and sadism he'd lure other women to with his charm.

It would be easy for him to find a willing participant. They'd be exciting for their strangeness, alluring for the sake of their transience, but he would stay with Sara. I knew it. And she would know that he was unfaithful and would never again fully believe he wasn't, even if it were true. There would always be something lurking in the shadows of their relationship. And that is how it would be. Never fully suited for one another, never enough tension to cause a separation. That would be Julian's life. Living between worlds, never fully satisfied with either.

As I climbed out onto the sidewalk before the apartment building, I leaned down to address him through the open window, a simple "Goodbye," and watched the car drive away.

"I should have called, probably." I made a strong opening argument, as Ethan stood in his doorway, looking surprised.

"Probably." He acknowledged.

"I wanted to apologize for the other night."

"That's okay." He nodded, stiffly.

"I wanted to know if you could ever forgive me." I felt particularly small out in the hallway of his apartment building.

He studied me and rubbed his eyes the way he did in response to a headache. "If you want to come in there's a no manipulative bullshit policy."

Once inside I felt a strong wave of nostalgia. I was surprised to see he had bourbon poured and waiting for him on his coffee table. Ethan rarely drank. He took a seat next to me on his couch.

"I should apologize. Sober. I realize we couldn't have a conversation while I was in crisis mode." I wiped my hands on my jeans surreptitiously.

"I mostly want answers."

"Okay."

"I don't want you to pander to me, and I don't want to watch a pity party. I want honesty from you."

"Okay."

He took a drink as he appeared to deliberate. When he spoke, his questions came rapid-fire, his tone even

and calm.

"Who initiated things?"

"Me."

"Do I know him?"

"No."

"Are you still seeing him?"

"No."

"And who decided that?"

"I did."

"Was it just sex?"

I hesitated before deciding. "Complicated sex."

"You said I couldn't hurt you. Something about chains." We locked eyes, and I felt my face burning in humiliation. "What did that mean?"

I studied Ethan, feeling so far from him for the first time in years. He had become so much a part of my life, I almost ceased to see him as separate from me. I could be in a room with him and feel like I was alone in the best way possible. We were that close. I hadn't allowed myself to fully feel the weight of our breakup up until that point and so I saw him in that moment with new eyes. His handsome face, unshaven, looked more tired than I remembered him looking before. He knew me better than anyone, had seen me on my worst days, and had still bathed me in the warmth of his affection.

The man before me, a stranger in our separation, was now asking me why I would throw away everything I had him with for something so trivial. It seemed all at once absurd now that I had to look at it plainly in the face and call it by its name.

"He was a sadist." I let the word escape my lips, I had reached into the jumble of adjectives and nouns that described my relationship with Julian and it seemed ill fit. It felt like he had asked me what his pants size was. I had no reason to measure it. I hadn't had to articulate it while our affair was kept secret.

"Is that what you want?" It felt as though he were unwrapping a very fresh wound and was about to pour a scathing disinfectant over the mess.

"No," I reflected, "but sometimes I want to hurt." That didn't seem right either. It was too simple. "It's not having to be in control, I think." I looked up from my lap, helpless in my tongue-tied struggle.

"You only wanted a BDSM relationship." He probed.

"It's not that exactly." I shook my head, frustrated. "It's hard to explain."

"Why didn't you talk to me about it?" It sounded so logical.

"I don't know." I furrowed my brow. "I was afraid of being rejected. Would you have even wanted to?"

"I would have tried."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not a proper apology." His voice took on a new feel. I wasn't sure if I was reading him properly.

"I don't know what else I can do." I baited. We sat, staring at each other. The tightness of my chest, hyper-self-awareness of his gaze unwavering.

He leaned toward me on the couch and I met him halfway. Our eyes met for a moment before I moved to kiss him gently. The familiar pressure of his lips against mine. I pulled back, searching his face before he pressed his lips to me again. Ethan's hand cupped my face as he pulled away slightly with each kiss, teasing me, enticing me closer until I had crawled to his side of the couch. I climbed onto his lap, my knees framing his torso beneath me. He held me to him for a moment, his arms around me. I rested my forehead on his and I heard him sigh. We stayed there, wrapped in one another, not wanting to end the moment.