All Comments on 'October Sky'

Iwas ok.

Especially in a first story. Since you are a male, write the next one from hubby's viewpoint, getting inside her head.

Once again, your story is written in the 2nd person--you did this, you did that. Unfortunately, I didn't do any of it. The story would be a lot more interesting if written in 1st person--I did, she did, etc. Please learn to write in the first person, as I like to read the stories, but I do not like to be brought into them, which is what writing in 2nd person does.

A very succinct, and charmingly descriptive story. Your gentle approach amplified the eroticism greatly. I liked that it wasn't trying too hard to be realistic, although I did wish the girls were a little more three dimensional, and proactive.

It almost hints back to a time when girls had pubic hair..

Thanks again.

Nice, breezy writing style, great description, and one of the best uses of second person I've seen.