All Comments on 'Of All People'

They still had the issue of them cheating on him before the marriage ended, what have they done in penance to him? What did they do to make it up to their parents who had to watch all that?

His sister's comments that from then on she would befriend all of his girlfriends, after Katie and he broke up, so he would have only himself to blame for his own life...that was way too much way tooo soon and after she had taken his wife away from him she had to have had some idea how badly that would come across. For someone that claims she loves her brother that was just...wow.

Considering that it makes me wonder about how quickly he reaccepted Katie into his life, even considering she had moved to be with him again but considering they seemed to be apart longer than together, especially after the way she threw it in his face that she wasn't going to listen or respect his pain after what happened.

At least the sis finally figured out she did the majority of the damage, but again I don't understand how after those years they reconciled so fast. Especially with how it ended the last time they talked, even at funerals there are some reconciliations that dont happen and with good reason.

Then the request for his sperm for a kid? Did they always intend to ask him or did they take advantage of the situation to ask him? Were they prepared for how badly he could take it, especially as he and his ex had at one time planned for a family of their own?

Good story, I would have rated it more but I didn't see much of a repayment or finding a way to help him deal with the pain. If mom had been thinking that way, why didn't she say it sooner ? Just curious.

Faced with the dilemma that either Hannah or her twin brother was going to be unhappy, she nominated her brother for the honor. And assumed that he wouldn't mind. As you do.

Also, Katie was going to be friends with Hannah. It would't affect Henry, it would be something apart from Henry and Katie. Henry can just live out his life being silent to his wife about anything he doesn't want reported to Hannah.

Sometimes I just can't believe what a bitter person I've become.

don't think this could happen in real life. I have a hard time believing that he would even put up with half the crap that went on.

This isn't great writing, but it will hold you over till some comes along. I didn't like the ending , too new age for my taste. There's something fundamentally wrong with the wife and twin sister of narrator who KNOW it will cause pain of betrayal squared, but go ahead and tryst anyway. That being said, I give credit as to how the author paced the story and made the best possible case for how he decided to grant a pardon for breach of trust.

People that break faith in this manner usually extend that pattern of chaos. It doesn't mean that I want the narrator to smite them Old Testament style , the cheaters usually will punish themselves given enough time. There have been studies that document that cheaters RARELY settle into lasting unions with the carnal confederates that caused the marital break.

In terms of actual story technique , credit is accorded to BigGuy33. I especially liked how the temporary estrangement with Katie and reconciliation was handled. "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl " sang young Donny Osmond waaay back in the 70's.

One subpar page ( in terms of my taste ) doesn't mean the other five well- conceived and executed chapters should be dismissed out of hand for the concluding, whoopie cushion of an ending. Accordingly I pinch my nostrils tightly shut, swallow hard and then thank the author for sharing.

The part where they tell him about their betrayal could use some more help. Their selfishness and absence of any integrity made no sense coupled with his forgiveness because they are in "love". The story would have been better served with the hero rejecting his ex and sis. I couldn't buy the forgiveness. The pain and betrayal was too much to be overcome with a kumyah moment. The protagonist for most of the story wasn't ambivalent about his situation.. To beat a dead horse, the betrayer ( including mom) didn't engender much sympathy. I like happy endings but this one felt creepy

I couldn't be forgiving in this instance so it was difficult for me to read on one hand. On the other hand the story was very well put together and flowed well.

The reason it resonated with me is because I fell in love with my best friends wife (and she with me) and out of respect for them and our friendship I cut ties with them. Needless to say we never acted on it. She ended up cheating on him but that is another story. I didn't see them for almost 4 years and by that time the feelings had faded. My buddy and I can drink and laugh now, if I had done something with his wife I would have lost that.

Anyways it was a good story and well deserving of the 4 stars. Thank you for sharing!

Ahaz

what Hannah and Christie did is one of those things.

I'd be civil, nice, and polite, but there is no way I'd ever trust them again.

3* I did not care for the all forgiving ending, both his sister and his exwife are adulterers and his exwife is a cheater. How can you in reality forgive someone for those acts done against you. And yes his parents were at fault, instead of pointing out what the two women had done was wrong, they tried to foster it onto him as him simply not forgiving them, meaning they approved of the two's actions. Makes me wonder what type of life his parents actually led.

People don't just fall in love. It's an act of will. His sister knowingly and with malice of forethought pursued his wife and took her from him. His wife's betrayal was bad enough, but for his sister to do what she did . . . that's unforgivable. Then his parents simply expected him to suck it up and deal with it. Oh my, that's also a tough row to how. I don't know if I would ever completely forgive that. I might get to the point I could spend the holidays together and be polite, but that would be about it.

The last scene where he asked his sister if, knowing how badly it would hurt him, would she do it all over again would have had the exact opposite effect on me. She cemented herself as being completely self centered and ultimately not giving two shits about her twin. Everything in the entire story was twisted around her wants and needs, right up until the end.

Well written and I look forward to more of your work. This one wasn't my cup of tea. I can enjoy a good reconciliation story when it's earned. This wasn't it.

so much the bitch of a sister or the whore of a wife or even the controlling bitch he ended up with. No, it was that his parents totally and to the exclusion of any of his wants or emotional needs from them, took the sister and ex-wife's side and absolutely shut him out. Not one of the 4 of them ever understood or seemed to actually care what they had done and were doing to him. I don't see how he could maintain a relationship with his parents and I really don't see how he could ever have anything to do with Katie again. He made his position clear on Hannah and Katie told him to get fucked, she could have her as a friend and it had nothing to do with him. Married people do not have friends that have nothing to do with the other. That's like saying I have a part of my life that is none of you fucking business. So live with it. Well, where does that position end? Is it just Hannah or is it some guy that she takes a fancy too that's "just a friend" until he isn't and it's none of the husband's business what she does with this friend either. Not a healthy marriage or any kind of a relationship. Evidently Hannah was the dominate twin and poor Henry was just what was left over after she was made. That was her attitude, both parent's attitude and I guess from a life time of conditioning, it was Henry's attitude as well. Seems to me like you gave him Katie, a combination of all of the dominate women in his life.

Hannah will take Katie or his daughters away from him also, that's her thing to do. I gave you a three, but I just barely like it enough for that. And the more I think about it, I really didn't like your resolution that much. Like someone said, 4 fairly good pages then total nut-up on the last page. Sorry his Dad died but that shouldn't have turned him into a pussy. It was always all about "him" accepting everything and finally you got him there. Glad you are happy with your resolution. Your story after all.

Not bad. In fact, some of it was well done. There were a couple of weak spots - predominately around the reconciliation.

and then take a look around and think of that helping hand. TK U MLJ LV NV

The question of whether one would have taken his own best friend's wife if they fell in love was utterly unpersuasive. No, if he was a decent man, he wouldn't. Also, as long as we're dabbling in hypotheticals, if it were his brother instead of his sister seducing his wife it would be immedately obvious to everyone that the sibling is a horrible person.

I enjoy the writing, but really couldn't go along with the story here.

You can fall in love with your sibling's spouse, but you can not act on it! It would be hard enough if the spouse divorced your brother, for you to make a move on her, but she was currently married to her brother. There is no honor in such an action. It is an act of ultimate betrayal. You protect and support your family before anyone else. I couldn't have done that to a friend, so doing that to my sibling would be unthinkable.

The parents should be able to understand the distinction. They should have supported the brother, and the burden of fixing the sibling relationship should be on the sister. The stealing of the spouse is just an act of overwhelming selfishness on the part of the twin sister.

I'm all for love and "soulmates", but what about loyalty and consideration. How does the actions of the sister show the love that should exist between twins.

I might have been able to forgive after I had found happiness, but I can't imagine having any kind of close relationship with my sister after what she had done.

I mean, they betray him, crap all over his life, refuse to grant him what he asks for "just leave", and then have the gall to insist, basically (with the parents' help) that he just basically "forgive & forget" what they both did to him?

No. No, no, nonononono!

The GF taking up the cause by befriending the betraying bitch of a sister would only rub a crap-ton of salt into the wounds...and the sister's refusal to leave the GF be (s a regocnition of the pain she already caused him - at the very least) would pour another crap-ton of salt on top of that!

So he leaves, and later, the GF follows...time passes, but STILL no penance, and along comes Dad's death - and the "magic" all happens? Sorry, but no way. No way at all. Being civil and allowing them to stand in the same room with you, albeit very briefly, might be one thing, but forgiving them and then agreeing to father a child FOR THEM!?? absofuckinglutely not.

The only cliché thing missing here was the family's church pastor giving him the "forgivness" speech...but even that would not pass muster in this situation. Pennance and recognition of the sin - the harm done - was a required element. Sackcloth and ashes. SOMETHING needed to be done, and sis did absolutely nothing (for him) but get on with "being happy" with her stolen bride. It's fucked up I tell ya.

Now. I'm one to put myself in there in the cliché'd Pastor's role here and preach the forgiveness - but not for the sister's or mom's sake - but for his own self's sake. Nobody, but nobody, did that here. It's a complete misunderstanding of the purpose and usefulness of forgiveness, making it a travesty in this case. In this case it's letting the perpetrator get away with leaving the scene of the accident, with the other driver's wife in her car, gleefully flinging their undergarments out the window, laughing as they drove away from him and his destroyed car while yelling that his mom dressed him funny too. While mom & dad came by 5 minutes later to say, "hey son, buck up, and get over it already." Hell - the fuck - no!

The story was well told, and the author showed sufficient care and skill in telling the story. My problem was that the story was a bad one to tell. 4*

Pappy7's comment already sums up what I feel about this story and the characters, but for me the defining moments of the manipulation are when Katie browbeats him to accept staying at the same house with Hannah and Christie, and when the mother confesses that his two exes will be given the family house and she has already chosen them and won't make any effort to go live with him. Both show the lack of respect either his wife or his parents have for him and for his feelings.

I do understand the reconciliation, but not the way Henry was forced into it, or how he took so easily his parents and wife always taking the side of his sibling, without any regard for his feelings and needs

yeah i read this story until it became Obvious that it was just another idiot wimp ffs why cant you writers atleast ones have a man be a man and let them have there diginty. and becouze you cant let him have that you make him a litle boy trowing tempre tentrums and make him completly foolish i would never have spoken to the fucking bitch again

and this shit assed exuse of soulmates is even more redicules on avrage a human falls 3 times in love in his live its a test evry marriage faces and the fact that crissy bugged out ad the very first flicker of feeling for someone else just means how unworthy she is of love

Carp, carp, and carp.

Just one big unforgivable manipulative family.

but somewhat overworked. Again highlighting what appears to be, particularly reading the predominantly US comments, a serious issue of emotional immaturity amongst US males - "that womun is MY property and no-one will trespass upon her" - which is the constant theme in this sad tale. If he and his twin were so alike in their tastes and behaviours there was an inevitability of this happening. His intransigence was the real problem. He caused the rift in the family. His attitude was redolent of a six year old stamping his feet when he couldn't have everything he wanted. Simple piece of advice to all males confronted by similar choices - grow the fuck up!!

Where are the real angry men gone to? When a man is betrayed, really betrayed, nothing will change his mind. Ever!!!

You should call yourself sissyguy33. Why insult all men (real men) out there?

Forgiving hannah was never an option. Forgiving christie was never an option either. The parents were too fucking biased towards the cheater. At the start of the story,

you write that you are happy with the way things work out for the guy. Which part of justice don't you understand? How was this even remotely fair to him?

The author has succeeded. He has made the guy a complete fool and wimp and hacked people off. After the first page, I felt uncomfortable and skipped to the predictable end. In real life, the guy would have topped himself, rather than have anything to do with his sister and ex wife. As for giving them a child? Please! Even in an erotic love story, there has to be some realism.

being betrayed by the wife and family, to me IS unforgivable and unforgettable.

1. Yes, when you "fell in love" with another person's spouse - you walk the fuck away. Encouraging a married person to cheat is negative, destructive and demeans all involved. Homosexuals do not face the same responsibilities of a heterosexual relationship - natural children. They do not face the reality of merging their life with a person of the opposite gender.

2. "but she's my soul mate" - is a load of shit. It is a selfish line of crap that has it's roots in mental illness. ANYONE who bounces from a marriage into another relationship is clearly UNSTABLE. Something is wrong. If you love someone, you don't take advantage of them.

3. The last fucking thing a man should do is to father a child that he is not going to raise as the FATHER. There have been studies done to show that children in these situations suffer emotional distress from not having their father present. They come to resent their homosexual parents.

4. The acceptance of the daughter's aberrant and destructive betrayal by their parents is enough to write them all off. They were shitty parents, no wonder the lesbian daughter thought of herself first and stabbed her brother in the back.

5. This PC story reeks of the putrid lies and self deception of the society we live in.

I completely walked away from my family over their crap when my brother bedded my then wife. When "mom" gave me the BS about family and blood when they decided to get married I told her to go to hell and hung up the phone. I never spoke to her or any of them for years until I got a letter begging me to contact them as my brother needed a kidney or he would die, we have some genetic issues that make it essentially impossible to match. I went to the local florists and sent a black wreath and said in the note "For the fucking funeral ass hole." Two months later my father showed up hat in hand trying to get me to change my mind. I called the police. I heard my "brother" died a year later and no one in my extended family even tries to contact me anymore. I am as happy as a clam.

Thanks. It´s rare these days that a "real" story appears among all that cuckold stuff.

3* ok but forced plot. What twin did was unforgettable and unforgivable.

I have a friend whose wife loved me and wanted to leave her husband for me and I loved her but never acted on it! I told her i could never betray my friend that way and we would have to remain as friend's. I suggested marriage counseling to her. They did seek help and have been mailed over 37yrs now with great kids and grand kids. Oh and we're still very close friends.

As a person of faith I believe in forgiveness for the wrong but that doesn't mean taking the person back onto your life. The parents should have never chosen sides and respected the son's decision. They should have berated the daughter for corrupting and destroying the son's marriage. Families almost never come back after a betrayal like this. Maybe the son would have lost his wife and marriage at a latter date. Christie should have looked for profession help and been up-front with Henry about her feelings. That's why communication in a marriage is so important.

This was alittle to PC.

Now for the good..... Story is ok and I can see it happening in real life . Writing was good for most part. You are listed as one of my favorite author's just so you know I do like your work for the most part.

Nope , I simply didn't like this storyline.

He should have left town immediately , I would have slept in my car before I simply "traded" apartments !

If he had left on his own terms , I'm sure he could have found another wife and mother for his kids , then he'd never have to be around any of them again .

I'm sorry , but his own parents treated him like shit. They could , no they should have at least honored his wishes to spend time with him , the day before or after a holiday , but no , he was just shit out of luck.

2 *'s

I thought the arguments for the brother / sister conflict were fairly well presented.

I also thought the parent's betrayal was bit underdeveloped. It would only have taken a paragraph or so. Maybe recognition by the mother near the end that they had utterly failed to support their son and a real apology. But it was left out.

Still 4*.

This could have gone several ways. He might have gone postal, set them up by getting a lesbian friend to come on to his ex-wife, etc.

Wimp asshole!!!Grow a pair dude.You do not have kids with two betraying bitches.

I agree with Crkcppr, they all fucked him over. Then asked him to be the bigger man. I would have broken all ties and moved on.

I think this was pretty good. You don't have to like everything to appreciate the thought and effort by the writer. He made us hate the sister and really dislike the wife, but he allowed the guy to work through it, over five years. It all seemed possible, except maybe a nurse falling for a guy that got drunk and fell down his own stairs. I liked how he broke up with the nurse when she told him she wanted to be friends with his sister. Deja vu all over again! I think the BgGuy has something here. Thanks for the work and for posting.

Lets review! A backstabbing twin sister. A cheating slut wife. An ex-husband who donates sperm for the two low-lifes. The parents who support adultery and turned against their righteous son. Welcome to the 21st century! Just like the Romans, the end is coming. 2*

Some serious issues.

This is an erotic story site, NOT a site for writing essays to help with your therapy.

It is about time the site admin had a purge of all stories like this one.

sister cheating, wife cheating,parents cheating bur husband is guilty 1*

Loved the characters, the emotionally charged story, and the strong ending. Looking forward to your next effort.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

the man has no right to his feelings. His sister and ex-wife, oh, they *need* a baby, they don't *feel* it would be right for a stranger to donate, so they get what they want since their feelings count.

Also, have to mention, fraternal twins do NOT share any more DNA that regular siblings do.

And, I really think there is only one valid interpretation of this story: Hannah is a self-loathing lesbian who envies her brother at a somatic level, like she always wanted to be a guy herself, she wanted her own dick, so she tries to become her brother by stealing his entire life. The apartment, really!? And how could the friendship she pursued with Katie be viewed as anything but another attempt to steal whatever her brother has? Katie might not have been able to anticipate the seriousness of the new friendship, but Hannah knew, Hannah was doing it deliberately.

Hannah, the character, has serious psychiatric problems that bode ill for her children and spouse. This is not a romance, this is like watching a car bounce down a 15K foot mountainside.

He is stabbed in the back by his future ex-wife, his twin sister, his parents, and his future wife, NONE of them really gave a damn about his feelings. When Katie showed up at his door he should have slammed the door in her face. If she could't see his point of view then he should have nothing to do with her. In the end he gives in to all of them. He should have "wimp" and "loser" tattooed on his forehead.

The first of two issues: mom's rationale was disturbing. What if Christie had met a man that was her soul mate, would mom have had the same feelings? Were her feelings simply rationalized because it involved her daughter? This was nothing more that a cheating wife and sleazy scumbag who can't leave a marriage alone story with the depth of betrayal doubled. The second was that sperm donor brother was telegraphed and if you were hoping for a surprise twist you blew it. Was this their "family" plan from the start, wait for reconciliation then drop another bomb on him? I think Katie gave in too quick to not have been informed ahead of time and her previous actions doesn't lead me to believe she didn't work behind his back with mom, dad and "family". I seriously do not think anyone in the story understands the level of betrayal shown here. If you can't trust your sibling, wait, if you can't trust your TWIN sibling with your wife who in the hell can you.

Okay three issues...swedish-dude, wow, did reading this story destroy your stroke-off mood for the day? That is a sad state of affairs your body and libido are in.

The story was well written and it had good characters but like everyone has said: gaping plot holes. Male or female you don't pursue your siblings spouse and generally, if you're a decent person, you cut your time so what happened here doesn't. If Christie really was a closet lesbian, Heather should've pushed for her to go to counseling with him to either get over it or get out of the marriage before she had kids with him. If after all of that (and enough time had passed), Heather pursued her, it would've been crass but borderline acceptable as opposed to an unmitigated betrayal of the highest order.

Second the parents - wow. One siblings knifes the other in the back and you should just make up? Their claim of staying neutral was BS and at some point, he should've called them on it in some form. This is not an excuse but you see it in real life, when parents have an issue with two kids often times the one whose literally there gets the benefit of the doubt, a more sympathetic ear etc just by virtue of being there. The mom pushing the way she did was horrible but not unexpected when he never stood up and explained to her just why he felt so betrayed (and notice Heather never offered it up either).

Three. What kind of woman, or man if the situation is reversed, becomes immediately interested in someone long-term who got so drunk they fell down the stairs and ended up unconscious for two days. That's....unusual. She literally started flirting from the moment he came to. And later if she 'understood' the way she said she did his issues with his sister, she should've come to him first, at least, before becoming friends. The lack of respect there is enormous and you never really resolved that. He left and she followed and offered up an explanation for her attitude but not her actions in the first place.

Finally, i do see forgiving them, for yourself, as one other commenter put it and to let go of a ton of anger when there is more important things to worry about (wife, kids, job). But a reconciliation? Way to much hurt and way to little effort by the sister to heal it.

And it's the last I'll read. Please find a story where the man isn't always so weak. As you said this doesn't have to be a BTB but how about a little spine? You were on it with the main source of anger being the sister but there's no way forgiveness can be found. I wouldn't hate the ex or the sister but they sure as hell would both be dead to me. I just wouldnt acknowledge them ever again, they earned that.

I like my stories to have some backbone.

My praise for the writing. full of tension and drama, once you start reading you can't stop. Time is a great healer and forgiveness is necessary if only for our own peace of mind. But to forget, does anyone really forget something they consider to be a great wrong whatever the others explanation may be. Blood is thicker than water they say, I don't believe that, one only has to look around to know different. I understand that A goes before B and B goes before C etc:. As soon as Christie realized she had feelings for Hannah she should have walked away from her marriage and after a period of time start consolidating a relationship with Hannah. What they did was cruel, it's not nice but he will get over it they thought. I take the point made by mum that given Christies changing needs the marriage would have foundered anyway, but a woman telling her husband that her needs had changed and was going off to find a different life, then after a period of time got together with his sister, that can be respected, it's honest and upfront. This was initiating a relationship with her husbands sister and telling him about it later and is treachery by Hannah and Christie of the highest order. the double whammy, betrayed by wife and sister. Although well written this story says you can do anything you want and to whoever you want and it will all be lovey dovey in the end. In life it's not always what you say and do but how you say it and how you go about it.

I too can understand forgiveness for ones own wellbeing but complete reconciliation would be out of the question. Hannah threatens to destroy any and all new relationships, that is down right psychotic behavior towards someone you profess to care about so much.

Plus I struggle with the fact that Katie came back to him not because she loved him so much but because Hannah told her too.

His whole life is filled with the most selfish grouping of people but such is life, I guess........

Pretty good story until you decided to completely fuck it up, so I skimmed over the last couple of pages seeing where it was going. Being a charitable kind of person and in the spirit of Christmas, I gave you a three since I never rate lower than that unless it's a no vote at all.

As usual I'm writing these as I go.

"...Hannah and I have...fallen in love. I'm sorry but I'm going to file for divorce." – Okay, at least unlike in some stories there is presumably a lot of background with Christie and Hannah, but after all these years(?) knowing and hanging out with her, all it takes is one night of I presume drunken sex to decide that she loves her, to the point of wanting a divorce? I can buy, “I think I’m in love with her,” and then having some counseling to sort out her feelings.

How does his half of the rent compare with Hannah’s rent? If her rent is lower, he should just pay her rent. If it is higher, then the girls should pay the difference, because he should have his rent go up because he’s moving out to accommodate them.

“brother/best friend” – Some way to treat your “brother/best friend”!

Oral without a condom? Can’t you get a disease from cum in the mouth as well as the vagina? Maybe even worse, because it’s going into the stomach and therefore into the entire system.

“They never made any effort to block out time for just me nor could they seem to avoid this mess as a topic of conversation.” – I agree. They should respect his feelings and drop the subject, and as he says make time for hi alone. They could have done what he thought might have happened, told the girls to go to Christie’s family for Thanksgiving.

“You've never missed a Thanksgiving before” – They never spent Thanksgiving with Christie’s family? My wife and I alternate sides each year.

“We're just trying to find some middle ground” – “Middle ground?” Why does “middle ground” mean him coming over to their side? I repeat my prior comment – he and Christie never spent Thanksgiving with her parents?

If his mother REALLY wanted to “compromise” she would have told the girls to come over Christmas morning, and have Henry over Christmas Eve. Her idea of “compromise” is “do things my way!”

"So was I right in assuming you were checking out my ass as I walked out of the room?" – Hell, you wiggled it at him!

“what makes you think you can dictate who my friends are?" - It’s not “dictating” who her friends are, it’s respecting his feelings! This is more than just a “friend he doesn’t agree with,” this is the sister who betrayed him!

LOL, I was going to say that if Hannah fucked up one more relationship for him he should move, and I see he isn’t even going to give her that chance!

“Would it really have been a big deal if they were friends as long as I was kept out of it?” – Yes, it would have been a big deal because you KNOW Katie would have added to the full-court press to reconcile with his family!

“To me, that meant she should have walked away.” – I agree! She should have told Christie that if she wanted to leave Henry to pursue a lesbian relationship, that was one thing, but it couldn’t be with her. I don’t think everyone would have been so sanguine if Christie left him for his brother!

His mother mentions a “best friend’s wife,” but this is WORSE it was her BROTHER’S wife! I hate repeating myself, but if Hannah was his brother instead of his sister would his parents have been so casual about it?

“I think they were planning on in-vitro fertilization” - As soon as his mother mentioned them starting a family I saw this coming. But why in-vitro, why not artificial insemination?

I'm not sure that I could have been so forgiving. One thing that still sticks in my craw is why didn't Hannah agree to stay away occasionally so that he could have time with their parents? As I said earlier, why couldn't she let him have Christmas Eve and she and Christie go over Christmas morning?

I would never forgive or forget. That is betrayal at its highest level. People are killed for this . No one could manipulate me to make pease and anyone who tried would be cut off. Also the analogy of being in love with a friends wife was horseshit. I would never allow myself to think about a friends wife like that .i a choice to be a sneaky scumbag or a true honorable friend and if the friends wife is willing to cheat especially with her hubbys friend than she's a no good slut and will do it again down the road to you. He was hard core about it then he allows it to become part of his life and that's where I didn't like the story

I didn't like the plot of your story. It was well written, good character development and all of that, but as previously stated by others you don't poach your siblings spouse period, full stop. Do not pass go, don't collect $200. It means that the sisters character is reprehensible and she doesn't deserve to be forgiven EVER. You then destroyed the husbands moral high ground by buying him off with sex. That's a cheap shot and not very satisfying to many readers.

To put my money where my mouth is I will even sign this comment. Seems folks aren't fond of anonymous comments on Lit.

Grant

Grant501@outlook.com

No one even remotely considered what he was feeling and that the sister was one sick messed up fuck. # 1 You can do better. Stop writing shit like this

Yes, at SOME point it would have been nice if the parents had said to Hannah, "You two have really hurt Henry, and since he won't come if you are here, I'm sorry but you can't come for Thanksgiving. You can come for leftovers on Friday."

Yep, I said the same thing, and we all know that it is true!

Assuming your story is true, it's interesting that they spoke to him when they needed his kidney, then when the need was gone they never contacted him again,

But I found myself most curious of the Mother's reaction and actions. It was almost as if she went out of her way to "side" with her daughter, and led me to believe that perhaps she herself had some of those same conflicted feelings? This couple married later in life, "didn't bat an eye" at the daughter's "coming out," and became activists for the Gay movement. And then allowing her daughter and ex-wife to move into the family house while she moved to daughter's old room? That level of comfort with those circumstances would be unique where I come from...

Thank you for sharing your time and talent. It was thought provoking entertainment.

Good story if a bit conflicting. On the one hand, I understand his emotional dilemma. On the other hand, I don't know if I could have been as forgiving as he was. Also the fact that his parents didn't make an effort to spend individual time with him is telling. I wish they had handled it a little better. Anyway it is your story and I appreciate you sharing it with us. Keep writing.

You know I'm a fan, and while I obviously had a lot of problems with it, it WAS a good story.

I feel the need to reiterate a few of my biggest issues:

His parents: I don't believe they would have been accepting if Hannah had been his brother instead of his sister, PARTICULARLY his father! No father that I know would condone one son stealing his brother's wife and would probably kick his ass out of the family, and Mom would be right behind him if she argued about it. So how can his parents be so accepting of a daughter doing it?

His mother talks about him refusing to "compromise"! What compromise did she offer? Did she offer him Christmas Eve without Hannah? No.

The "best friend" analogy. YES, he should refuse his best friend's wife, even if he has to break off the friendship, and a BROTHER'S wife should be even more off-limits!

He swallows the steaming pile of horseshit he keeps getting pushed to eat.

Look, there is no such thing as a 'soul mate'. There is no one-perfect-person for you or for anyone else; some people are more compatible but there is always going to be someone more compatible out there. So, you make your choices, you honor your vows, and you honor the people you love in your life by not betraying them.

The sister should have walked away; it doesn't matter if his marriage wouldn't have survived because his wife was a closet homosexual claiming she didn't know that when she made her vows, she should have walked away because she loved her brother enough to honor that love for him. Because there would have been someone else, somewhere else, as good or better for her than his wife.

And the wife should have honored her vows, even if she 'discovered' something about herself. She obviously loved him enough to marry him, was attracted to him enough to have sex with him. Maybe she found someone more compatible, but there's always going to be someone more compatible, even with the sister, so she should have honored her vows, thus honoring herself and the love she had for her husband and his family.

His parents should have honored their love for their son by not trying to force him into reconciliation. Tough position? Tough shit. It's not their place to choose one child over the other the way they did, and yes, they did. The same with the second wife, though obviously she figured that out at some point.

I may be a tougher son-of-a-bitch than some, but there's no way I'd reconcile, and I would have also cut my parents out after their behavior, and I'm not sure I would have taken the second wife back after pulling that stunt. I get her reasoning but again, you make your choice and you honor your love and your vows. There aren't exceptions to that I find acceptable.

And no way would I give them my sperm. Just another way to fuck him over later, which they have a history of being willing to do. This story ends with Hannah and Christie suing him for child support. Don't think that'd happen?

Well, it did. There's an infamous court case of just that happening; a lesbian couple suing the voluntary sperm donor for child support despite a legal contract specifically severing parental rights and obligations, and to my knowledge, the court made him pay.

The story is well written, and for the most part, the characters believable. Parents do choose one child over another in things like this all the time, siblings do fuck each other over at the drop of a hat. The only part I can't take is when he swallows the steaming load of manure that what they did was okay or even for the best. It was a horrible betrayal, magnified by continually repeating it until for his own health and sanity he's forced to leave the area. It really is a story of abuse.

but emotional blackmail would make it worse for me. I'd go to my parents' funerals, but that's it. Don't care who Mom blames, she's got a daughter and daughter in law to keep her happy. If Katie didn't like it, she can marry Hannah too. As for in vitro...he'll no! Still a well done story, thank you.

That your fairly plain unadorned but very effective writing style combined with your slavish addiction to linear plot development makes you one of the best writers here. You do have a tendency to be a bit soft and unrealistic at times and most of your narratives do chase a happy tidy neat ending at the expense of a bit of plausibility but ... This is a VERY good take indeed. No tricks, no fancy plot devices, no ex-marines or terrorist fighting archeologists just a plain simple good yarn written correctly for the genre. Well done ...

The damage was done at the beginning. The real issue is Hannah. You never betray a sibling and then a twin sibling like that. If she thought she was falling for her then maybe she should have stopped spending so much time with her. The other point is the audacity to ask for his sperm. I understand the author tried to introduce smell of the modern day concept, but missed the big picture. His seed was intended to impregnatexperiment his wife and establish his family. That is the purpose God gave to the seed, and now we have preversed it. I have no problem with the women wanting to be together, but not with my seed.

I feel that forgiveness in this case is too easy. The source of betrayal was rightly directed at the sister but that is what makes forgiveness so hard. A family betrayal is harder to get over especially when that family member promises to look out for the spouse prior to the infidelity. Hanna knowing seduced Christie and was selfish in putting placing her and Christies relationship above Christies and Hayden's. Ideally Christie and Hanna would have a true heart to heart and then have a heart to heart with Hayden before sleeping together and before things got as serious as they did.

I also think that hayden was betrayed by his whole family as they would not support or listen to his viewpoints and were on focused on protecting Hanna's relationship. The mom also manipulated him into accepting the current status quo. Also the whole idea of him accepting to be the donor father is unrealistic. In two ways, one he could not overcome that betrayal especially with family to consider becoming the donor. The other aspect is Hanna and possible insecurities about her wife Christie regaining feelings for hayden. Hanna as the spouse whether female or male would not take that chance especially when they were true feelings of love in Hayden's and Christies relationship before Hanna seduced Christie. I am not adverse to reconciliation but this is the one part I see as almost unrealistic. There is just too many hard feelings and trust issues

Again I am not critical of the author and the story is well writtenand enjoyed. My only criticism is the donor part other wise my comments are directed at the story and characters.

I should have put more thought into my reactions, I was hoping the guy would stick to his correct and moral position- at least until his sister and mother really apologized, with penance and atonement. Which, come to think of it, may have been ok for a reconciliation if you could have created a story that showed that actual atonement- instead you validated betrayal, all in the name of political correctness and "honoring" "alternative lifestyles."

So, while the mechanics of the story earned a 4 from me, the moral sucked. I mean, if you are gay it's okay to betray those who trust you?

And, I for one had moved clear across a country and have little to no contact with my family for a far less betrayal.

This betrayal would go too far; I would've cut ties, disowned my parents and changed my name if they had sided with the wrongdoers. And, would just go back to spit or, worse on their graves.

A question I keep asking myself is: what if it was a twin brother or a really close friend to betray him in such a way? - the story wouldn't hold water. Changing it to be a lesbian love affair is just going with a trendy fashion.

I've never read a story like this on LW and it most definitely hangs together.

Excellent dialogue and character development - except for Christie, but that's

forgivable.Kept my attention to the end and I wasn't quite sure how it would end

up. Great work, BigGuy33. 5 stars

I have an ex that cheated on me. It was 45 years ago, and to this day I have not spoken to her.

Some thing come first, like divorce and THEN go to someone else, not the other way around.

I used to enjoy your stories. After the last two, I won't be reading again. You were always a decent writer from the technical aspect. The characters all seemed a bit on the shallow end of the intelligence gene pool. So did all of these in this story. They take implausibly stupid actions and expect good results. Not very sharp.

Your stories have taken a very nasty turn. You have become ham-handed, writing stories that are intended to provoke, nothing else. Set up the most despicable of betrayals in the most treacherous manner possible, add inflammatory rhetoric and then have the characters, beyond all reason and sense, suddenly find the betrayal and treachery acceptable. This guarantees you will get many comments and a strong reaction from anyone who believes in fair play.

So, you accomplished your purpose. It's for the last time, with me. Not a fan, or even a reader any more.

This is how a very average writer gets lots of attention. Write the stupidest fucking story possible that will piss everyone who reads it off. That's how you do it.

re:

Excellent premise but somewhat overworked. Again highlighting what appears to be, particularly reading the predominantly US comments, a serious issue of emotional immaturity amongst US males - "that womun is MY property and no-one will trespass upon her" - which is the constant theme in this sad tale. If he and his twin were so alike in their tastes and behaviours there was an inevitability of this happening. His intransigence was the real problem. He caused the rift in the family. His attitude was redolent of a six year old stamping his feet when he couldn't have everything he wanted. Simple piece of advice to all males confronted by similar choices - grow the fuck up!!

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So from your (European?) POV sneaking around your own brother's back, lying to him, causing him to lose his marriage are all just wonderful things to do to one of your own close family?

It is not about 'property'.

It is about honor, honesty, doing the decent thing (in this story for her own family member).

They had it all planned out for Christie to dump him and move Hannah in with her before he was told a single thing.

Oh was a complex web you wove, BigGuy! Fundamentally there is the whole facet of what is love, how is it shared and what does true love do to people. The further you went with this, clearly the hurt then understanding came in. From a few comments made, they believe in the BTB approach. That's not always the answer and that really isn't what happened here as the story developed. Near the end, the last request could easily be seen. I think it was a really different but good story, well developed, and truly a novel Loving Wives' story (for a change).

Carry on!

Tiny Tim

Have to agree with sbrooks on the parental portion. As I read it, I was very upset at the fact that they not only seemed to be ok with good own sister causing him t lorae the one he loved at the time. Doesn't matter that she apparently didn't really love him as much in return, because of she did she most likely wouldn't have wanted to leave him. Then his patents kept trying to sell him on not only getting over it, but accepting it and that "they are happy". Had it been me, I would have probably speed talking to them until they realized just how bad things really were. If my brother was the Hannah character, and somehow stole my wife, I would never forgive him and the parents would be persona non-grata until they figured out the pain he caused and not force the family back together. In this case, for Henry, I think it worked out okay in the end, buy doing that his strong connection with the twin would forever be weaker. How could you ever trust that sibling again, at least the same as before?

Anyhow, thanks for sharing a story that obviously had me somewhat emotionally connected. 5* and can't wait to see your next one!

What a bunch of Chit

Several words there in my comment got swapped lol. Meant him instead of good, and the rest was just a funny garbled mess there in the beginning. Lol sorry.

You are correct about the child support.

It has happened more than once.

That is the real reason sperm donors at clinics are absolutely kept anonymous.

The courts don't care if the sperm donor never met the woman, if the sperm makes a baby the donor is on the hook for support.

All the way through graduate school in some states.

Personally, if my sister had done what his sister did, mom or no mom, I would NEVER have forgiven her. I'm just not the forgiving kind. Call it a character flaw, most people do, but I just don't forgive.

However, this story wasn't about me and I think it was written very well and made the reconciliation plausible and tolerable.

I believe this was a 5 star effort all the way so that's what I gave it. Great job, BigGuy.

Started out very good, crashed and burned in the end! I being a Neanderthal would have never had any relations with the two ever again!

Yeah, I love how authors always are pointing out that the cheated upon spouse is the "bad guy" without respecting other people's feelings.

The sister was a predator and actively pursed the relationship. These things don't just sneak up on you. I have been attracted to other people that would have been a good fit with my personality but they were already in a relationship. Did I continue a inappropriate relationship with that person? No, I respected the previous relationship and backed off.

All you have to do to put this story in the perspective it should be is make the twin a boy and not a girl. Then no one would side with the twin.

Garbage ideas.

this was a great story in how it played out. started out as a cheating wife story then turned to a sister taking something from her brother that wasn't hers to take but his wife was her soulmate. sad though it took his dad dying to bring the family back together. the way his mom put it is true it would be hard to live that way. glad it all worked out in the end.

His opinion was never considered throughtout the story. At the end, he should have told his ex and his sister that he would not be the father. It would have been one stand on principle where the others would have been the angry, scorned ones.

This was the best story I've read here for a good while.

Thanks

MFH

No. And hell no. We all see things we want but have to restrain ourselves for a variety of reasons, social mores being just one. Unforgivable. Mom should have been asked how she would feel if Hubby were to leave her to be a fudge-packing cocksucker with his fishing buddy. Loyalty and fidelity are the foundation of a relationship. I liked the story. Great drama and dialog, but Henry was repeatedly beaten up with a branch from the dreaded Estrogen Tree. In the end they all win. Except Henry.

This story was really about the repercussions of a lesbian coming out of the closet, and the story should have been in that Literotica category.

So marriage is forever and for life, uh, until I meet the person I was really supposed to marry? And the first dumped spouse is supposed to understand and accept that type of thinking and behavior, because they love the person who is dumping them? What about when the second marriage gets stale, and then the whore really does meet the person they were supposed to marry all along, the second time, or maybe the third? And can we just forget the "falling" in love bullshit? Mature love is something you grow into, not fall into. The writer obviously has no clue what ethics and responsibilities are connected with marriage vows. And no sense of how decent people should behave to respect those vows.

Actually, I could sympathize with Christie going for a real pussy, since she was already married to one, but who couldn't deliver the sex Christie decided she preferred.

The whole story of the parents embracing the lesbians and winking at their daughter and daughter-in-law's betrayal is just pathetic. The son should have accepted his parents' abandonment in the same vein he accepted his sister's and wife's. He was now essentially an orphan and should have lived his life accordingly. His family preferred what made them happy and feel good over what was ethical and loyal. They chose their despicable dishonorable daughter over their blameless betrayed son. What does that tell you about these people as parents? That the son lacked the strength to stand up for himself again reflects why a closet lesbian found him suitable husband material, at least temporarily. His later submission to his second wife simply demonstrated what a wimp he is.

So I think this was a mediocre effort to support an untenable argument. The whole point of making marriage vows is to assert that you have found your mate, and that you will forsake all future possible mates. That includes removing yourself from relationships as soon as any feelings of desire start to form. Good grief, marriage is difficult, and has ups and downs. Don't you know how easy it is to assume the grass you just met might be greener than the grass you have been living with for years? Grow the fuck up.

A well written story about immature people trying to play like adults. So they all come off looking shallow, selfish, and juvenile. Thanks for your time and effort. Wish it could have produced a more appealing story.

This is very much a well written story, but all of the family including the second wife was horrible to Henry.

Sorry, but with the way you wrote Henry I can't believe in the reconciliation happening, much less that quickly.

Also, I saw zero remorse from his sister. That makes reconciliation even less likely.

Was a well written story, but I just can't buy the ending.

Look forward to your next story.

anonymous 12/15/16 says...perfectly!

. . . should never have been any reconciliation.

I like stories that get me emotionally involved, and this story did that in spades! I think the sperm donation was going too far though. I can easily see how the hero would eventually make peace with his sister and ex--especially for his mother's sake. But I just don't see a man who reacted that strongly to a betrayal turning around and giving the betrayers an opportunity to raise his biological child. That's a pretty jarring shift in the character's behavior with no real justification other than the author's need to provide a "happy" ending.

Well written and you did promise a "somewhat" reconciliation at the end. Yes some of the 90+ commenters might have said that this needs to be in the Lesbian section, but there's enough LW content to allow it to be here.

Written with only one word mistake that I noticed. 5 *'s

You made the main character bear to much of the guilt and the "what if". You made your protagonist too accomodating in order for the story to be resolved. The only supporting character that gave the protagonist the most consideration is the dad, and that is by making him the most neutral. The dad is the one that atleast understood that he shouldn't push his son to reconsider.

You made the protagonist accept his ex wife's infidelity and his sister's betrayal. What did the ex wife and his sister get? The acceptance of the family, their cooperation to make the protagonist understand. The family barely considered that the protagonist was really hurt, only that he should get over it for the sake of bringing the family together.

Had the ex wife divorced her husband before hooking up with the sister perhaps this ending would be appropriate. However you put in elements of betrayal this tale. And betrayal is something that should not be resolved with a wave of the hand. I know reconciliation stories are hard to write to the reader's satisfaction and i appreciate a decent tale. But in my opinion authors who write reconciliation stories are better served if they focus on the efforts of the betrayer to fix the mess they made rather than focus on how hurt the betrayed is. I, as the reader, don't know if perhaps the ex wife and sister helped the protagonist so that he would be healed from the hurt they inflicted. I think this is why many reconciliation stories are unsatisfying, despite having the elements that can make it a good tale. The protagonist (betrayed) is the one doing the most, if not all, of the "understanding". The betrayed is the one who is hurt yet he is the one that has to accept that what the betrayer did is "not that bad".

Shit!!! i think i'm going to start writing my own story. I just made my own plot in the comment section hehheheheh.

and so clearly from both sides of a difficult, complex situation. I felt like the topic was fully explored, and in the end, I put my hatred for Hanna & Christie's betrayal aside. That is saying something....

I will h ave to reread but one of the things that is in my head is that Hanna and Christie didnt apologize for their actions initially. And the parents seemed to have their heads stuck up their asses in their never ending efforts to reunite the family. I feel they should have carved out time for Henry to see them without pressure of solicitation, including some portions of holidays, to balance the scales. What the girls did was wrong, or at very least a breaking of the original marriage vows, so the parents should have lined up more on the son's side.

Great job, you are becoming a writer I have to read. I am sure the lower score reflects the difficulty people have with this situation, and the fact that not only did Henry reconcile, but fathered their children. But by any objective measure this is a 5*

But the part about him meeting "Katie" was not plausible. It is not believable that a hospital nurse would instantly, and for no apparent reason, fall in love with a patient, and throw herself at him sexually. Especially if she was as attractive as this woman was supposed to be. Maybe if he was a millionaire, or a physician, but this guy was apparently not that special. Cheating wife stories in which the jilted husband soon meets a perfect replacement woman, who throws herself at him, just seem contrived.

This is a story line I haven't read before, so kudos to you. Part of the story really pisses you off, so congrats on making others feel an emotion. To the anti RAAC crowd, you did give fair warning.

and they are tremendous! I wish I had written mine after reading the insights of the board. Truly some great perspectives on right and wrong, action and reaction. wow.

Ok, they've been married for at least 3 years and together for 5 total. his wife all of a sudden discovers that not only is she a lesbian, but his twin sister is her sole mate. Then we have the parents who with no background of taking sides find no fault with their daughter's actions. Now we have a love at first sight from both him and his nurse. She now wants to be friends with his sister and sees nothing wrong with what she's done. After she travels 2500 miles to be with him she never says that she won't communicate with his sister, only that they won't be doing things together. He needs a prenup stating no contact with his sister, but doesn't do that. I understand going home for the funeral of his father, I would have insisted on a hotel room. I could even see being civil to his twin and his ex while there. Forgive - NEVER! Forget - NEVER! Donate sperm for their children - WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!

I am a regular reader, and rarely make comments. With that being said, I am glad that you like the story BigGuy33. In my book it is a mush mushy hallmark style waste of time. Hey, maybe you could sell it to Hallmark, since the media loves any and all diverse emotional fluff. Frankly, if he was going to write his sister off for her betrayal, he should have nutted up and shunned her for life. Mom and Dad were traitors too in their own right.

You never , ever do the dirty on family . The parents ARE WORSE than the sister . Their son 's wife cheated on him , yet they UNDERSTAND why ! ! ! They accepted , even condoned , what their daughter and she had done , welcoming them both with open arms ?They should have backed their son , SHAME ON THEM !

The end was just---------SICK ! The author went from reality to twisted fantasy mode ! Oh, come on ! P-please !

What a fucking wimp,, yoh should pf burnt thd bitch!!

As a writer you can make whatever you want of your characters and he did this well. 5* well. I challenge any of you who haven't made any contributions but who just troll this site making crap comments and lack any appreciation for what it takes to spin a tale, any tale, write it down and publish it. Good on you BigGuy, keep up the good, nay, excellent work.

Congratulations on figuring out this is fiction. Don't you think it is a compliment that we care this much about BigGuy's fictional characters.

And yes, he can make his characters do and be whatever he wants, that doesn't mean we can't disagree with what he has them do!

...it was his twin brother that took his wife? What then? Why does the sexual identity of the sibling make a difference? I don't get that the fact the twin is female makes it okay to poach into the brother's marriage. The parents are not fleshed out much but from what I can glean from the way they are presented, they certainly have a favorite child and it is not the male. Why? That would have been an interesting side story in itself. Falling in love requires actions by both parties. It doesn't strike like lightning from the sky. The wife cheated on her husband, the sister betrayed her brother, the parents essentially turned their backs on their son, and his "soul mate" was anything but. What does he do? He rolled over and kissed ass. A lo tof bad people populate this story.

However, the author has written an interesting story that I read from beginning to end. I was invested in it and made value judgements about the characters and I kept waiting for someone to actually support the poor bastard protagonist but that wasn't the way the story was written. I'll give him the 5* his writing deserves for setting the stage and following the path he decided on so very well. I did not like the characters but so what? It was a well conceived story.

You have two children, One of them SERIOUSLY wronged the other. The wronged child refuses to visit if the offending party is there.

You do NOT tell the wronged child that the other child will be there, you should just come and "get over it". You tell the offending child that since the offended child won't come if he/she is there, that I'm sorry, you'll have to make other arrangements.

At MOST there should be some sort of alternating arrangement: this year offended child comes to Thanksgiving, next year the other; one comes Christmas Eve, the other Christmas Day.

In this story, I still haven't seen any explanation why Christy apparently never spends Thanksgiving with her family!

It's hard to imagine Henry, Hannah, & Christi reconciling. But it impossible to imagine him fathering their child.

And early on, when Katie and Hannah begin their friendship? If they are both so stupid as to think that Henry will be cool with that, then perhaps all 3 women need to move in together.