All Comments on 'Of Gold & Silver Ch. 01'

you sometimes mix up grammar.

The other thing I find somewhat bothersome: a roman (her name suggests it) woman leading a naval battle in antique time? Romans of that time didn't have a lot of respect for their women, making that part somewhat ridiculous.

Apart from that, you might be on to a great story.

editing needs work.premise is good.

Thanks for the comment. But you should know that there were indeed women who worked for the Roman army. Though the practice was mostly discoraged because they were expected to be submissive and docile those days.

In this story, if u continue to read, u'll find why someone of her rank never appeared in histy of the empire.

Yo got me hooked... weirdly enough a woman leading Roman legions felt less jarring than the reference to cotton rope (cotton being imported from India at the time and hence it seems unlikely to be used for rope), but I admit I know little of the history of cotton and rope and might be completely wrong ;) Odd how some small things jump out, and I can shrug away others ;)

I think with an editor you would be set. Everything you need to be doing is perfect. Everyone needs an editor though. It's hard to find and fix our own mistakes. Story is good. Lots of room for development.

Keep going you got me hooked. It was a great read.😊

You mix your pronouns and your tenses a lot. Best would be to get an editor to go over and catch some of those mistakes

Please continue but you should get an editor

http://www.literotica.com/editors/editors.php

I'm intrigued by the story and, as a bilingual myself, empathetic to your struggles.

Please continue, it's a good story and holds promise.

Good idea for the story, but you need an editor to improve your English. And I just couldn't get over the language issue you ignore (Julia speaks Latin, Josh doesn't).

...is how it's spelled.

Great start but I should have checked to see if it had been finished before starting to read it.