All Comments on 'Of Reunions and Life Ch. 01'

nicely written. Love hear how us "loser's" actually end up winning.

as another loser at school I liked the story but Martins change is a bit too much for me, most of us dont change like that and being good at sport doesnt always make you accepted as it seems Martin was at university. (take my own example- my school was amazingly good at swimming we had 3 internationals - 2 who won gold in Olympic games- and I was fairly good too representing the school 5 years out of 6 at district meets, but I was always on the outer).

Also the fortune he got seems to be unrealistic.

Finally his acceptence of Seth is very quick.

Dont get me wrong its a good story, I like it and think mostly its well written (though a bit more proof reading would have helped - e g the slips into 1st person narrative) and the comments above excluded its believeable. But I think you could have made a good story better...one that would deserve editors pick and a rating high in the top rating section if it were just a bit more true to life as it is lived and if you had concerntrated more on your editing.

I appreciate your effort in writing a story for all of us to enjoy. The technical part is of good quality.

Many teenagers have a miserable existence during their junior school years and only blossom when moving far away. It doesn’t automatically happen but joining up with friends and pursuing a team sport could be just such a push.

I do have some quibbles with the way you handle his relationship with Cindy. Being used in such a cavalier fashion and then being unceremoniously dumped before the senior prom is a particularly hateful thing to do. Being thrown a mercy fuck is no compensation, especially as Lothario’s original character craves human interaction more than sex.

I simply don’t believe that the male protagonist wouldn’t feel strong adverse feelings towards Cindy. After all, she has done what everybody in his live does, ignore his feelings and simply use him for her own ends. Lothario clearly shows how much that bothers him even if he is unable to do something about it.

Your story does not show this at all. He actually likes Cindy. That does not seem possible after the way she treated him.

twenty million, a little much, but what's a few million amongst friends.

I'd give you the highest mark if only you'd used an editor or proofreader. The first chapter had numerous, rather glaring errors, but the story was so strong they were only distracting. I'm not a grammar Nazi, but distracting or confusing the reader is not the best way to get your story across. I liked your characters and wondered at growth of Martin. I like this guy and I want to see good things for him and Cindy. Your pace is about right and I’m enjoying the coming of age setting. Thanks for sharing!

I think WD's story built well on the first one. Agree with the comments about an editor, but the basic plot line is very sound and well done.

I'll have to agree with the commenter who could see just too muchof a transformation in the character of Cindy. Don't get me wrong I do believe in change, but i believe you pushed Erotic coupling well into the midst of a sweet Romance, and a cold and calulating user to a secong mother thresa. It was just too extreme of shift to feel credible.All the above is not meant in any way to sway you away fromfuture writing you got it and keep at it!

Great writing

Excellent job great story

I agree with Gatorhermit. Well written. Good stand alone story.

very well written

I felt every nuanc of this twisting and turning story, I thoroughly enjoyed every word.

Helluva yarn. Fun and original at least to me

Well done, well done!

Bill

I didn't read the previous part and honestly don't feel a need to. This is a great stand alone story in itself.

I gave you 5 stars for touching baby scene and Martin's confrontation with Doug. You are a god writer, though less sex and more story would make your stories even better.

Excellent story. Very well written. Reliving high school memories (good and bad-real and imagined)