All Comments on 'Office Legs'

Very erotic and very believable. Thanks.

You have a style. I like that you spend time on all the little details here. There are a lot of technical errors, mostly incorrect punctation that had me reading some sentences twice to make sense of them. One example: "Time for a bit of slack time he figured, he'd earned it." Should be either: "Time for a bit of slack time (but then you have 'time' twice in one sentence)(period). He figured he'd earned it." OR

"He figured he'd earned a bit of slack time." OR "Now for some slack time. He figured he'd earned it." Keeping it simple is usually best.

"the swashing jiggle of her buttocks" I don't think 'swashing' is the word you want here.

I highly recommend a program like prowritingaid.com. It will help a lot with the punctation, sentence construction and point out other errors of style and grammar. It has certainly helped me write better. Good luck!

Good premise.

But when the sex happens it happens too fast. Needs preliminaries. Needs to move slower. Needs dialog about what each one wants and expects, and what does the other want and expect.

Three stars.