All Comments on 'Offside Offense'

Dirty, sexy, and so so hot.

The build-up was captivating too, especially their dancing at the club. Scandalous.

Hit all the right spots.

I'm not normally a big fan of build ups like this but damned if you didn't tackle that well, and the conflicting feelings she was going through and what a prick Marq was.

This was like reading my own fantasy... I'll probably burn out my big B.O.B. reading this story over and over. Incredible way of building the tension, and holding the reader's attention. I've added you to my favs... Thank you for a great read. And more!

The part about the intentional injury took the enjoyment out of it for me. I know, from a literary, anti-hero pov, it seemed brilliant but ... would not read it again nor recommend it.

The intentional injury confession and her reaction ruined it for me, however this would be a great loving wives burn the bitch opening.

She just couldn't help herself. Will she be back for more? 5*

This story was awesome. The buildup, the thought process of the girlfriend, the detail, the grammar, all excellent. This story reminded me of the "Billy" story that has, sadly, not yet been finished by its author.

Great job, I loved it, and I am looking forward to your next story!

Good stuff. Nice slow build, relatively believable characters (especially for this genre where women somehow become sluts the moment they see a penis) and it was nice to a see a interracial story where the "big black guy" aspect was more of a coincidence than some super-fetishized thing for white racists with little dicks to get off on.

Really glad you finally got around to finishing this. I hope you could maybe add another chapter or a sequel to this. :)

I enjoyed the story with the exception of her being such a hot head (and foul mouthed!). I hope this continues with them because I really enjoyed the last line of her liking what Marq had said. I hope this expands to maybe them getting busy while Dan is texting or things like that

have longed for this story to cum out... and must say that I am much impressed much better than i had expected (sorry)

Fucking brilliant build-up for not talking about the whole sex scene - just sad she didnt get it in the arse... but I guess thats for the next chapter... right?;-)

How about one more chapter where the nice guy boyfriend finds out about her infidelity and his reaction? The clues are there - her screaming for the neighbors to hear, the broken glass in the picture, maybe someone seeing them in the club or getting out of the cab together.

The story was great. Good build-up. Would really like to read Chapter 2.

Very good story. I liked the build up. It kept me invested. I agree with some other comments that his admission to hurting her boyfriend on purpose took away from it. Not exactly ruined it, but killed the momentum.

Overall good stuff. And I do NOT wish for a sequel. I think this story stands on its own just fine.

Great story. Does Marq visit Dan in hospital while Jemma's there, do they have another sex romp behind Dan's back?? Does Dan get out of hospital?

Man we really need a sequel to this

That's one outstanding story! Fucking awesome, man!

great story...I was waiting for his confession...well played

damn i wish there was a sequel to this, show more Jemma in the aftermath. Does she marry Dan? And/or Does she seek out the wrongness of cheating and big betrayal again in search of the high she had the first time?

This story's great. It had great build up and a better climax.

fuck him up and then fuck his woman...as old as time itself...just too bad that Danny hadn't been forced to watch his lovely girl getting roughly fucked into the mattress and inseminated, sperm spilling from inside of her. How nice if she ends up pregnant...with twins. Terrific erotic writing.

Glorifying evil acts only goes to show how slimy you are and completely cowardice. Face the light and you all melt lies and deceitful people get to burn for eternity constantly begging for your pathetic souls. May you all receive the Karma you earn, that goes for writers who send evil out into the world you are propagating bad thoughts and bad actions and it only shows your true colours!

This story is very realistic it shows how self-entitled and narcissistic women are, and how they do whatever they want whenever they want and refuse to take accountability for their actions, even when caught the spout excuse after excuse as why things aren't their fault but others. In almost every situation in life they avoid responsibility and when unable to they will start crying and claim that they are the victim. I wish this and stories like it would continue having the innocent men enlightened as to how they are deceived by these evil, lying, and manipulative whores, and for bonus points have them face consequences for once.

I think you should write a sequel to this story