All Comments on 'Oh, Julie!'

Oh julieee.. Awesome writing!

I liked it. I'm still hard just from reading it.

But a year and a half of dating with no sex?

I'm far from a fuck-on-the-first-date guy, but a couple of months is plenty of time for two adults to cement a relationship. And if a lover invited me to go on a trip and stay the same room, we probably wouldn't make it as far as the bed.

I find it hard to believe that he didn't have a box of condoms "just in case.

Great details. Very hot for a pretty vanilla scene, well done!

"had a fist full of acne" Do you mean "Face?"

"definitely one of my of not biggest high school crushes." You need to edit more carefully.

All numbers under 100 need to be written out: Seven, fifteen, etc.

"we ended up on nearly identical paths.

During that time, we both ended up dating our college sweethearts that ended up becoming very long relationships."

You've got "ended up" three times in a row.

"way it clinged onto Julie's body' It's "clung". There's a lot of bad grammar here. I advise you to get the help of an editor.

I'm all for a slow burn, but these two have been seeing each other for a year and a half, they're staying in the same hotel room yet he's overwhelmed that she kissed him?

"I had to sped walk " You say "sped walk" twice and that's not English.

I kind of doubt a woman who wants to get fucked in the ass - with NO lube - her first time with someone would have waited over a year to have sex or that it never would have occured to either of them to bring condoms. And I guess you don't know, but going from anal to vaginal sex can cause a massive infection in a woman.

This story could have been one third its length and not changed anything. I hope some of this helps!

Needs to be tightened up, little dialogue and reads like a chronicle more than a story. Get somebody to bounce editing with. Good details.