All Comments on 'Oh Lisa'

Hi Gloria,

Thanks for another excellent story. I really enjoyed reading it, as I have your other contributions. In this one, I came across several places where you had left out words or had used slightly incorrect ones. Otherwise, your structure and grammar are very good. Would you be interested in my going through "Oh Lisa" and making corrections? Looking forward to your response.

Thanks.

Malcolm , plan@quinkatla.com

Thanks Gloria, I really enjoyed that and it deserves a Part Two.- please. I will now read some more of your stories.

Short, simple, and believable. As erotic as it was, I'm surprised (and grateful) that you didn't get carried away like so many authors do and drive everything to an extreme hardcore conclusion. I will definitely be reading your other stories now. Thanks!

I liked this! Slightly distracted by the grammar and spelling in places (e.g. a choir sings, when you are working in the yard you are doing chores), but the pace and the believability and the eroticism are all there to be enjoyed. As Malcolm suggests in the comment above, the story could be improved with a little editing.

I will now look at your other stories, but giving this a 5 and hoping it will be continued.

I enjoyed your story! Hope you tell us what happens on your boat trip

What an absolutely rotten thing to do! It just ain't right to cut this off just when the possibility's ramped,

Aw Gloria you can't stop there, you have to write a 2nd chapter and perhaps a 3rd & 4th, I'm sure Dawn would like to become part of the boat crew as well ....

Very well written so far!!

Really liked the teasing, very well written

i agree with the other positive comments. It's sexy, and fun, and enjoyable to read. Like absoluterotter noted, a little proofreading would really add to the enjoyment. This is your first story I've read, and I look forward to more!

Glad to see you're still writing! Looking forward to more of this.

..that it was a great story, a bit of a tease, and that there is much more to come. Great job!

Sorry for the misspellings and incorrect grammar.

I really do know better, I’ll do a better job proof reading in the future.

Aside from that thank you for the compliments.

Gloria

I look forward to reading more of the exploits of Lisa and Jeff. Very sexy!

We want the redhead, what happend to Dawn? I hope we go to the beach, while the weathers nice enough to strip. Jeff never be to eager to share, Lisa is really picking up on the vibe. Its really a fine line between admire don't desire. I worked in construction for thirty years, we were told looking longer than 3 seconds we were in violation of policy and could be terminated.

Looking forward to going for a ride with Lisa and Rodger, any chance we can call Dawn ?

Welcome back.....

Hoping that this can be the start of a long beautiful relationship; you writing and me reading.

Cheers

I think this is really good and I look forward to the next instalment.

... we thought you had gone away, welcome back!

keep up the good work .. your writing style, story telling style, is in a class by itself.