OK Ch. 19-22

He went downstairs to the kitchen. He had furnished this before he left on his travels and so it at least felt like home. Not that he objected to anything he had seen, Tracy had done her job wonderfully and he loved it all, but it did feel a little like a show house.

He made a pot of tea and sat at the kitchen table. He thought he might have found a note welcoming him home from Tracy, but there was nothing. He surmised that Tom was working her so hard that she had little time to think of such niceties.

The tea having brewed, he poured a mugful and took it to the living room where he sank into the plush new leather sofa. He drank the tea and fell asleep for two hours.

He awoke with a start, realising it was four thirty. Time to prepare an evening meal for Tracy. He found two thick sirloin steaks in the fridge, made a marinade and steeped them in it. Then prepared onions to fry, and made a salad. It was good to be at home in his own kitchen again, preparing some food - he'd not cooked for four months.

--

Chapter Twenty

John heard the front door open and went to meet Tracy. She put her briefcase down and slipped off her coat and hung it up, offering him a smile as she did so then a look of concern. He went to her and she came into his arms as they hugged and kissed.

"You look so tired," she said, searching his face.

"So do you," he responded, noting that she was not her usual ebullient self.

"Welcome home," she said kissing him again. "It's been so long."

"I've missed you," he said into her hair.

"We've a lot to talk about," she said. "A lot has happened while you've been away, but it'll wait until after dinner. Time for a shower?"

He nodded and they disentangled, she going upstairs and he to the kitchen.

"News is you were in the Far East, sorting out our suppliers," she said as they ate.

"Philippines and South Africa," he said.

"Heads rolled at Head Office," she said. "That you?"

"Fredericks and Curran," he replied, nodding.

"Matterson as well," she said, "That was a surprise."

"How's it been with you?" he asked.

"Busy," she said. "Colin Amstead had a stroke soon after you left, and won't be returning to work as far as we can see, so I'm now managing Sales full time on my own. I've been rushed off my feet. Tom hired me a new car and I've been on the road a lot getting to know customers."

"You looked whacked when you came in."

"It's hard work, and I've not got a PA yet, Tom is still trying to find someone out of resources but they're short: two on maternity leave! They're running on supply staff. The sales staff are on the ball, but I need to know the customers personally."

They finished the meal and stowed the washing up in the dishwasher.

"John," she said seriously, "I need to bring you up to date with what's been happening - not at work. I suppose you'd call it socially."

"Sounds ominous."

"Not really, but four months is a long time and a lot has happened."

John got a couple of whiskies for them and settled down to listen.

"You have some very nice and very good friends, John. A few days after you went, Susan and Jessica turned up on the doorstep and invited me to join them for a drink and then on to a hotel for some clubbing."

"Yes," said John thoughtfully. "That's Sue all right, but she's usually got some nefarious plan going!"

"Quite right, I'm sure she had, but her invitation was genuine and they really looked after me. We had a great time. The hotel is very nice - run by friends of yours? Ryan and Karen Frinton?"

"Not my friends," John said. "Friends of Susan and Carol. By the way how's Carol? Settled with her new man?"

Tracy's face dropped, and John misinterpreted it.

"Surely not married? Engaged?"

"John," she said with some annoyance. "Tell me. This top secret job of yours: how long was it really top secret?"

John was surprised at the turn of the conversation. He thought for a moment. "Until Fredericks and Curran were arrested, I suppose. Probably three months out of the four, at most."

"Then why the fuck didn't you write? Email is quite easy to do you know." Her sarcasm was cutting and obvious. She was annoyed.

"Tracy, you know I like to concentrate totally on the job when I'm away. I was very busy in that final month, flying to and fro between Manilla and Johannesburg. God, that's a dreadful journey, fifteen hours, changing at Hong Kong. Sitting about waiting for connections. It felt like I was jet lagged all the time!"

"John, that's your job. We are people. People come first! Anyway, be that as it may, It's messed everything up for you and for others."

"Messed up?"

"Yes, messed up. You've no idea."

"Well," said John with a smile, "obviously I haven't, but I've a feeling I'm going to be enlightened."

"For heaven's sake, John, this is no joking matter! OK-"

John winced.

"Oh, grow up," she actually snarled. "It's only a word. Now listen, this is serious. It was clear that the group of women had been warned to keep off you as a subject of conversation, and also not to mention Carol.

"Well, one girl, I think it was Kathy, clearly hadn't been told. She launched into questions about you and me. I could see the others tense up: they were trying to signal to her, but to no avail.

So I chatted about how upset you were about Carol finding her old school friend just as you were trying to get back with her, and then you had to go off on your James Bond mission." She smiled at the reference. "Then since the cat was out of the bag, Susan enlightened me.

"John, you're the victim of Liam Malley's lies and tricks a second time. There was no school friend. She was not up in 'his' room, since 'he' did not exist. Carol was at the party all the time."

"But the recept-"

"Had been told what to say by the owner, Ryan, whom Liam had lied to, as he had to everyone else.

"Carol was waiting all night for you to arrive. Her phone was dead, and she didn't get your text or the voicemail until much later in the night when she got home and charged it up.

"John, she was devastated. She tried to contact you, but as usual you had cut off your phone. She went into a severe depression, despairing of you ever coming back to her."

"I need to see her," said John urgently. "That bastard Liam! He's really twisted. Supposed to love her? He just wanted her. Selfish cunt!"

"Oh, don't worry about Liam," Tracy said. "Carol's brothers gave him a good going over, and by the time the news of what he'd done the second time had got round, he hadn't got a single friend left. Carol's brothers made it clear he was to go far away. I think he went back to Ireland."

"So, is Carol still living in the same flat?"

"I haven't finished, yet, John."

He subsided into the chair, and gestured her to continue.

"Carol and I actually got to meet at one of their Friday nights. It was clear we were not going to get along. She was convinced, according to Jessica, that you and I were a permanent item, and nothing would shake that idea. I think it was the fact I was furnishing the house for you that did it-"

"And it's beautiful, my darling. It feels so right! Everything is tasteful and fits perfectly with everything else."

Tracy smiled with satisfaction. "Wait till you see your credit card statements!" she laughed.

"Anyway," she sobered up and continued, "Shortly after that meeting, Colin had his stroke, and I was running Sales and Marketing solo. Little time for Friday nights but I got out to a few. If Carol was there we didn't speak; there were enough girls there to talk to. It's not so bad now, but until recently I was working weekends and evenings till ten. Tom and Ann invited me regularly for meals, and he had to tell me to ease off or I'd be in hospital with Colin." She laughed again.

"Last week Susan got me out for a drink, just the two of us. She said that Carol was sure you and I are an item and that a couple of weeks ago she went out with someone from her work. They've been out together since then, but she hadn't decided how serious it was going to get. Susan wanted you to know, and thought I'd be able to reach you. If I'd been able to contact you..."

John sagged. "Oh, well, there's no point in going to see her, is there? There might not have been an old school friend, but she's found someone else now."

"John!" Tracy shouted at him. "Susan was right, you and Carol can be so stupid at times. She's out with this bloke because she thinks we, are, an, item. We're not.

"She was a wreck when she thought she'd lost you, can you imagine what she'll feel like when she finds you were free all the time and wanted her? For pity's sake John, promise me you'll go and see her."

John was surprised by her vehemence and saw her point immediately. He nodded. "All right," he said. "I'll see her and explain."

"Here's her address. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow. Is that all, or is there more?"

"Well, yes, there is more," Tracy answered hesitantly. "The fact is, I've met someone."

"You mean met as in met? As in with?" John grinned broadly. "You're serious about him - you? Serious?"

Tracy looked uncomfortable then obstinate. "Yes. I didn't think it could happen, but I think it is happening. We just seem... well, right for each other."

Then something clicked in his mind. "You've moved into one of the other bedrooms, I noticed your clothes were missing. So you really are serious about this guy?"

Tracy's eyes were by now soft and dewy. "Yes, he's really special. It's Dermott."

"Dermott?" exclaimed John. Then, thinking about him, "Well, yes, I can see that. He's known to be one of the most solid, good hearted blokes in the group. Intelligent. Entertaining. Attractive Irish accent. So your days of casual flings are over? In fact, you're moving towards telling me that our days are over. That right?"

In spite of himself he felt a stab of loss. Tracy and he had been close and lovers for a long time, though always without strings. His face must have shown it, for she became agitated.

"John, I said you should have got in touch once the secrecy was over. I'm sorry-"

"No, no," John hastened to calm her. "You're quite right, I should have emailed at the very least. I take it, knowing you, you've tested his love-making abilities?" and he laughed.

She smiled. "Oh yes, and he's very good to me."

There was a pause as if she was gathering herself. "John, I hope you don't mind, he's stayed here overnight, but not in your bed. That's why I moved out. I went to his place at first, but I felt I should return the favour, which brings me to the next thing.

"It wouldn't be fair to have him over here now you're back, so I'm moving into his flat tomorrow, and looking for a place of my own."

"So your temporary stay up here is becoming permanent," John said, interested in what she planned to do.

"If you come back, and Tom takes over from me, he's agreed to my being his PA. Colin won't be coming back."

"Sound idea," John said with some admiration. "Good planning."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "We wondered if you'd feel Tom should have asked you first."

"No," said John decisively. "Tom is Manager. It's his call."

"So tonight..." she hesitated.

"Tonight I sleep alone. Tracy we've always agreed no strings, but it seems to me you've made some sort of a commitment to him."

"You're not upset?"

"Frustrated, perhaps, but certainly not upset," John laughed again. There was a good deal of adjusting to do. Tracy was leaving the next day, and he realised he'd promised to go and see Carol.

Then a thought struck him. "You said if I come back. Do you know something I don't?"

There was no sign of dissimulation in her expression. "Rumours, John. Rumours that you'll be going south again to head office. Talk is you're destined for great things."

"News to me," he said, though that was not strictly true. "But in view of these rumours about me, you can see now why sometimes secrecy is essential. If any of what I did had been leaked beforehand, there would have been no evidence of any wrongdoing. It would all have disappeared."

"Speaking of which," she replied, "tell me all about your trip. Details John!"

So the rest of the evening was taken up with his account of his three months away. At the end Tracy sat in silence.

Then, "I can see where those rumours came from. Seriously John, after that I can't see you coming back to managing this place. You know Maurice Callaghan is nearing retirement? The word is he'll do five more years if that. The rumours were that he was going to resign over what you found out, but the Board would not accept it. In the meantime they'll be looking for a replacement. I think you're who they have in mind."

"I can't see it myself," he said. "I'm too young for a start. Maurice went all over the world for the company before he got the job."

"John," she chided him. "Where have you been recently? Holland, Philippines, South Africa. And before you came to this division you went just about everywhere... Eh?"

He shrugged. She had just confirmed what he thought the Board had in mind for him: a roving brief.

"Time for bed," he said.

He had expected to feel frustrated and a little lonely, having Tracy in the house and not in his bed, but her comments on his putative future preoccupied him. Was he really being groomed for Maurice's job?

Surely the Board would go head-hunting outside the firm? Maurice had been internally promoted, conventional wisdom would want new blood this time: a fresh direction. However, deputy CEO one day?

That said, he wondered what the Board had in mind when they talked of 'the future' after his leave. He decided there was no point speculating, he would enjoy his leave and let them do the worrying.

With that he fell asleep, and did not awake until ten the next morning, to a knock on his door, a fully dressed ex-lover, a mug of tea and a loving kiss.

"Good morning!" she greeted him. "You obviously needed your sleep. I've packed and loaded the car. I'll make you breakfast. What would you like?"

He knew what he wanted, something he'd missed all those months. Even in London he'd not attempted to buy it.

"Croissants and coffee please," he said.

"There are Pains au Chocolat?" she suggested.

"One of those as well. Oh, it's good to be home."

It was a good, nay a delicious breakfast in which Tracy joined him, and then with a hug and a sensuous kiss which he thought encapsulated all he had meant to her, she left for her new life and new lover.

--

Chapter Twenty One

John returned to the bedroom and stripped, had a shower and a shave, and then dressed casually for the day. It was the first Saturday of December and the first day of his holiday, and he thought back to the last time he was planning a holiday months ago. Instead he was sent off to the Far East and Africa for months. Where was it he had planned going? Italy! That was it.

It only took a glance out of the window at the leaden grey clouds parading across the sky and the rain pattering against the window to disabuse him of any thoughts about going on holiday to Italy.

If he were to go somewhere warm and sunny it would have to be far away, the Caribbean for instance. He had a brief vision of white sands and blue, blue seas, sunshine and warmth! Then he remembered he was not a beach and sunbathing type! He liked touring, seeing sights, exploring quaint villages, visiting art galleries and museums. Still, he thought, there was something to be said for a relaxing tour of the Caribbean Islands.

He went on line and surfed among the Caribbean islands and the various holidays on offer and before he knew it the light had dimmed somewhat and it was mid afternoon. It was then he remembered his promise to contact Carol.

He looked up her mobile number and keyed in the digits, to find that the number was no longer in service. He then found he did not have her land line number. He toyed with the idea of sending her an email, but realised that the last emails he sent her were to no avail.

He decided to check the food supply and found that Tracy had stocked up well for him. There were a few items, like his favourite beers, that he wanted, so he took the car and drove to town and bought in non-essential supplies. He wandered around the town relishing the feeling of being back home again. He had a coffee and a danish pastry, enjoying the bustle of the weekend families in the coffee shop.

As he returned that evening in the dark, the phone was ringing. For a second he thought it was Carol. Then remembered she did not know he was back in Britain. It was Tracy.

"Have you been to see Carol?" came the blunt question.

"I don't know either of her phone numbers," he said. "Have you got them?"

"No, but John, just go round there and see her. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

He felt a lethargy descend on him: he did not want to go. He did not analyse why.

The silence provoked Tracy. "John you promised you would see her today."

He sighed. "Yes, yes. I'll go this evening."

"Solemn Promise?"

"Solemn Promise!"

"Good boy!"

"Hmmph!"

A cackle of laughter and a click.

He made an evening meal of a ham and cheese salad, and particularly enjoyed the drink of tea. There had been no shortage of tea in the Philippines, but somehow it never tasted quite the same as now. He washed up, and feeling he had put off the moment long enough, found Carol's address that Tracy had given him, left the house and drove to her flat.

It was early evening, and so he assumed she would be going out later. He felt a frisson of fear about this visit. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and he suspected she had moved on, whereas he had not. He would see her and fall for her all over again and she would tell him it was finally over.

Get it over with, he admonished himself and rang her doorbell. The door opened and there she was. She had not changed: she was still as painfully beautiful as she was the last time he'd seen her.

However there was a look of blank surprise on her face, rapidly followed by recognition and annoyance. She folded her arms, a picture of rejection.

"What the hell are you doing here John? Haven't you messed up my life enough already without doing it again, and after I've managed to move on?"

"I messed up your life? Who messed up mine? You did, and Liam did - twice! You know what you did. What did I do? Tried to get through to you. Got beaten up for my trouble."

John took a breath and tried to quieten down. "Do you think we could discuss this inside instead of in this hallway?"

"I don't think so. I've got company, so say what you've got to say and then go."

"Oh, so sorry to interrupt your time with your boyfriend. Didn't take you long to forget all that guff you spouted at me about wanting me back and nothing would stand in your way, did it?"

Carol bristled. "You sent me an email telling me to forget you, if you remember, and anyway it's a bit hypocritical coming here when you've got a girlfriend of your own living in your house. I know all about Tracy. So go home to the tart and leave me alone."

"You're the tart Carol. You knew I had been lied to at the midsummer's party and that I thought you were with someone from your past love life. You knew that I came to the party to ask you to come home. You also know what my email really meant and why I sent it, to set you free for your non-existent earlier true love. It was me lovingly letting you go to be happy with him, but you knew the truth - that I was deceived.

"After all you said about us, you couldn't wait for me, could you? Straight into bed with someone else! You seem good at that.