All Comments on 'Oliver Teases His Sister Ch. 02-03'

I love where you're going with story. Keep up the good work.

I really like the build up. Keep it like that. One suggestion, don't rush the sex. Let it just seem to happen. Sex between siblings is a gradual process, not a hot lusty rushed thing.

I love it! Your style of writing is really good and perfectly conveys their rising sexual tension. Can't wait to see what you do with these siblings next! :)

I am enjoying your story. I've gotten to the end of 2-3. A small criticism here- You seem to keep switching voice. At some points it is first person and at others it is in the third person.

Ex.

The next day, I woke up to the phone ringing. Groggily, I reached behind me to the phone. "Mmm?" I said into the phone.

and then

"Mom," Oliver shrugged. "She's not coming back for a few days." he smirked.

it might be better if it read

"Mom," I shrugged. "She's not coming back for a few days" as I smirked.

All u did was simply combine 2 of what, 2 u, is a normal sized 1/2 ch in2 1 normal sized ch. Fair 2 middling.