All Comments on 'On The Dotted Line'

Heh. You already know how I feel about this tale - it's the right mix of cyberpunk and dystopia to tick all my boxes. Plus purple cat girl. That alone warrants a high mark. Love the additions and expansions you made since I last read the story.

A wonderful entry into the Geek Pride anthology. Sexy, smart and above all very well written.

Very well written, with many chuckles and out-loud laughs. I liked the dystopian background and the interaction of the main characters.

I've never read anything like this (I know, sheltered upbringing) so I'm glad the Geek Pride event gave me a reason to do so. Full marks from me.

Thanks, Etaski, for introducing me to your world.

I've never played SLA, but I've been hearing wild tales of it on and off for about the last twenty years, since I come from Glasgow, the same as the game.

This was a cracking wee story, everything those wild tales might have led me to expect and more.

This was like being in a sleazy bar just down from Perdido Street Station, nice and gritty. Also, I'm a cat person, and slim, small breasted females... whats not to like here?

Thank you for the great story. Definitely what I expected from you, given that you are one of my favorite all time authors. Great characters who for all their flaws are likable and relatable. At least as much as they can be. As much as I love your other work, this was a breath of fresh air in an unexpected direction. Thank you again and I hope more of your work gets posted back here again.

I really enjoyed this story and am already attached to the characters. I am hoping we will hear more from them.

Lottie x

@Blind_Justice: Good to hear! I appreciated the beta-read and feedback you offered. :) My other beta was familiar with SLA, so you definitely helped me see where you "craved" more, and I feel it's much improved on that account.

@Erinaceous: Wonderful! I'm so glad it made you laugh. :D I said before, I cherish the worlds natural jesters but any attempts I make are always nods to those who make people laugh every day. (Sidenote: James McManus in this story was named for one of those jesters when I first created him in 2006: the humor writer Patrick F. McManus. By sheer coincidence, Pat McManus passed away just last month at 91. His was a very kind humor, wonderfully funny, and this was a well-timed send-off for him. He'll always have a place on my bookshelf.)

And I earnestly agree, this event is giving me the opportunity and reason to try a few new worlds, and I had a great time with your story, too. :)

@Anon-from-Glasgow: *gasp!* O.O It happened! Someone has heard of this game and knows where it originated! That's awesome, thank you for commenting, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

Those "wild tales" are real; it was one of the strengths of the game in that, while "dystopia" covers the basics for the setting, the "tone" you want to focus on could be...almost anything. It's such a flexible setting with a lot of development from fans over the years, that's why I appreciate it so much. One could make it goth-urban-cyberpunk, psychotropic horror, "gun-bunny" shoot 'em ups in the Cannibal Sectors, corporate cloak-and-dagger intrigue, sci-fi/tech/biogenetic thrillers, undercover or murder investigations, crime and gang control, celebrity and fame-seeking, or you could do space exploration on other planets or straight-up military service. And more. You could also get really, really weird (like...a guy with a pumpkin for a head wielding a chain-axe and wearing a recognizable jacket with numbers pins and buttons, including a Smiley Face, shows up in the shadow of an abandoned warehouse you are searching and chases you...and if you don't die, you can't prove he was ever there. Halloween Jack. *shudder*) Any of this could still fit the setting.

@electricblue66: *big grins* Thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it, eb. I'm a cat person, too, and yep, nothing wrong with bitty titties. ;) I still need to get to your story, but lord, I've only read 5 of 31 (excluding my own) so far! But I like to fully absorb a story, so...it'll take time. This is also the most I've read in a long time; I'm usually writing. :P

@Anon-Awesome!: Cheers! ^_^ It's nice to do something different once in a while, and I'm glad it felt like fresh air; same for me writing it. Part Two of the Surface Siblings is 2/3 complete, though, as I've also been working on that a lot lately. Another 15-20 pages...then editing n' stuff. Until then!

@lottie_8853: Thank you very much. :) It's possible; these two characters have been in my head for over a decade and they have a lot of history. I've got no shortage of ideas if I get the opportunity to indulge with them again. <3

A lot of dialogue, the story opened up, was interesting and wonderfully done. Thank you.

Give me a man in a kilt and I'm halfway there. Add clean, focused, witty writing and you'll have me hooked on your she-wraith claws the entire time! There's enough tenderness to both James' and Shiv's hardened characters to make them sympathetic without seeming weak- just like there's enough intimate pleasure (and humor!) to counterbalance what would otherwise be an emotionless rape battle. And your world-building skills conjure up familiar dystopian imagery refined by your unique style. Thanks for your excellent contribution!

I've avoided reading your other work, since you and Tefler tend to dominate the Sci-Fi Hall of Fame. I didn't want to get corrupted by your excellence. Okay, so now I go back and start reading your other works, from the beginning. This was a wonderful tale on the SLA framework and I truly appreciate the well-developed characters - just enough info to let us fill in the background on our own when needed. And thank you very much for stepping up and taking the reins when needed. We've all benefitted. Cheers!

place or time.....Porn will always have a place in any and all cultures. TK U MLJ LV NV

Aha Scottish accent and a kilt, well, of course, I was into the story within the first few paragraphs. I fell a little bit in love with James, while Shiv left me more than a little cold even when she was being warm and fuzzy (pun intended).

The stereotypical big bad corporation with their grey files and the drunk, brawling Frothers were wonderful props to have around this pair and the epilogue rounded the tale out nicely. Great job :)

A great read! Since I didn't know the game this was based on I would have liked a little bit more world-building and background to make the immersion easier. But you're undoubtedly one of the best writers on the site and this was refreshingly different. If you have more stories in this world you would make me happy if you write them!

Stupid jokes. I'm FINALLY getting around to some recreational reading after my grappling with the mad schedule has wound down over here. I had a blast reading this story! Zero idea what to expect other than your signature goodness, which I received in spades. Some comments:

He stared. "Yer shitting me."

"I am not. I do not shit like that."

~LOL

So I'm not familiar with this RPG, and how much of this story is canon to the game and how much is your fantastic brain, but I love the idea that contract killers have sponsors. :)

"The suit smiled and looked creepy doing it. "

~Great line.

My runt cat was yowling in heat while I read this so that was timely. hahaha

"Go for it, kitty. Just don't say my first name 'less it's my turn."

~Way to deliver on this narrative promise. :) Like, as soon as I read it, I knew you would give us a great payoff.

Some hot alien sex and this game setting sounds like a great one. So glad I got to read it! :D

~Eris

Thank you Etaski! As always, you delivered another awesome story. You'll never hear me complain if you decide to continue that story line. :D

No idea what SLA is prior to reading; doesn't matter.

Not usually searching for alien sex stories; doesn't matter.

Drugs, porn, alchool, shady business practices and ulterior motives, underdogs, sex...

This story was extremely fun! And for some reason it got me reading about clitics just now :/

Anyhow, this is my kind of story. As I was opening page 4 I realized that the story was going to end too soon for my liking which is a good sign. I found myself rooting for the couple from pretty much the beginning and when I got the the end my mind was overflowing with future scenarios that these two might find themselves in and how much fun those would be. Like, for example, at some point I imagined them infiltrating a ship and then having a quickie in the middle of a firefight. Not sure how they'd pull that off let alone why, but it was fun to imagine. My mind sure does run wild sometimes!

Thanks for the fun read,

-Vince

Good story, I enjoyed it. different from what I'm used to from you but still intersting and full of action.

TK

Great story well told -- I'm unfamiliar with the game that inspired it (surprising to me considering the amount of '90s RPGs I've owned and/or played), but you drew a vivid enough picture of the setting and characters that I didn't feel like I was missing any references or that I was lost in any way. I look forward to exploring your other works here.

Another brilliant read, and a great peek into the SLA world.

I would have liked to have seen ASC take a hit - maybe Shiv kill Kurtis or one of their other suits, or maybe a financial loss from her "disgusted" fans. It just galls me to see the suits win. Ah well. The house always wins, and the fact that James and Shiv both came away with small victories is enough. They were tough and clever enough to deserve them.

Great story, great fight scenes, very Cyberpunk. Thanks one more time for all the coaching through the GPD anthology.

That was original and enjoyable. Once the premise was laid out I was curious to see how it would play out, and it kept my interest throughout. The open-endedness of the way things finish with Shiv and James makes me wonder if there might be more stories to come in this universe. It was surprisingly erotic considering an alien was involved. Shiv was well-rendered, although I was curious to find out even more about her as the story finished.

way to go, what a story. ups and downs, twists and turns. so much excitement and everyone wins in the end.. thank you for a great read.

As always Etaski, good smut.

This was fantastic! Thank you.

Never thought I'd read sla porn!

Shit-Oh-Dear!!!

A little sci-fi, a little cage match and some intense sex: who could ask for more. Another well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.