- Gay Male
- On the Rebound
- Page 3
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Click hereScott grins. "I was just kidding anyways. That little exercise was quite enough!"
Alec smiles back, very content, and snuggles against his lover. Scott holds him until he falls asleep.
- COMMENTS
63lsmithalmost 9 years agoI found this to be a very enjoyable read. Please continue with your writing. Will be looking for more from you.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoYou are starting your writing from a strong place and the more you write the better you will get. The present tense is a bit distracting as it is uncommon; however, you are using it well to give a voyeuristic feel. I would be interested in the story continuing. Now that Alec has found a safe haven and support, you can slow down a bit and let us learn about all these young men. Tell us about each individually and how their journeys mesh.
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoI enjoyed reading this. Yes, it's somewhat fast paced, but it's your first time writing.
I don't know why people have to be such jerks when critiquing.
Alex is not a slut. He's just happy to be accepted for who he is. He cares for Scott, but wants to have fun too. Why the hell not? The only problem I have is them not using condoms.
I'm looking forward to reading more chapters!
Anonymousalmost 9 years agoIf you meant for him to be a slut you should just said so. Don't include love in the description. That's just bullshit. Don't lie. Just say that he was kicked out and the guy that saved him from homelessness is encouraging him to be a rent boy without the pay.
Chris7swalmost 9 years agoThe story is good, if a bit fast-paced. It starts out as if its going to go on building steadily - and then leaps almost immediately into sex with a stranger. Ok - you're not the first person to have done that in a story (I'm probably just as guilty) but it came as something of a surprise and the sex really should have been introduced with some by-play.
And I have to be honest and say that the use of the present tense put me off somewhat; we're much more used to a story being told of some past event rather than something that's happening at that moment.
Other than that, I'm delighted not to find too many errors (Ben instead of Scott once) and precious few grammatical errors either.
Keep writing - you're doing fine!
