All Comments on 'One Last Hurrah!'

by scottstories

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  • 6 Comments
DougnlauraDougnlauraover 12 years ago
Enjoyed this one...

Thanks for letting this be about Allison, and not you.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
THE START OF A KEY CLUB

and new sensations for all. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
"She sewed her wild oats where they needed sewing . . ."

And they're tricky little devils to sew, you'd better believe.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
suggestion

A well-constructed story. I especially liked the first-party prelude, giving some character and motivation to Allison before getting to the main event.

One small issue with the writing, though. It is mostly written from first-person perspective, the author's 'I' describing what he sees and what happens. However, there are several times when Allison's physical and mental feelings are being described in a way that doesn't make sense if the first-person author was observing. There's a shift to a 3rd person omniscient author perspective. I enjoyed what was written, but these voice shifts pulled me out of the narrative for a moment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Great game

Too bad this is your only story. Well written with imagination. Many thanks.

tazz317tazz317over 12 years ago
#2 ITS NEVER THE LAST

maybe the next to last this time. TK U MLJ LV NV

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