by scottstories
Thanks for letting this be about Allison, and not you.
And they're tricky little devils to sew, you'd better believe.
A well-constructed story. I especially liked the first-party prelude, giving some character and motivation to Allison before getting to the main event.
One small issue with the writing, though. It is mostly written from first-person perspective, the author's 'I' describing what he sees and what happens. However, there are several times when Allison's physical and mental feelings are being described in a way that doesn't make sense if the first-person author was observing. There's a shift to a 3rd person omniscient author perspective. I enjoyed what was written, but these voice shifts pulled me out of the narrative for a moment.
Too bad this is your only story. Well written with imagination. Many thanks.