One Million Words

"I have leukemia." Skylar said simply.

Annabelle's mind was reeling, how could this be? How could Skylar simply decide for her? Does she tell Skylar how she feels, knowing that they have limited time together?

"How could you make a decision that was mine to make? You never gave me the chance to decide for myself! Did you ever consider that I would have wanted to be here and support you through this? Did you even think about me when you made this decision to simply check out?" Annabelle almost shouted in anger.

"I wanted to save you the pain and heartache! I didn't want you to see this or be here while my body fights a war against itself and ultimately destroys it." Skylar said, her own anger building.

"What about the pain you already caused? Did you think that maybe it would be worse if I found out after your death I would have had to live with the regret and guilt for not figting and being there for you?" Annabelle shouted.

"No, I didn't. I just wanted save you from all of this." Skylar admitted in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. I just came to tell you something and now I end up shouting at you. Sky, please don't shut me out, because I would go through any amount of pain if it means I get to be with you." Annabelle said, crying again.

"I am sorry. I just thought I was protecting you." Skylar said, tears spilling from her own eyes.

"Sky."Annabelle whispered and took Skylar's face between her palms.

Slowly Annabelle leaned forward, if she only had a year with the woman she loves, she was going to make every second count. Her lips brushed against Skylar's, the feeling sending a bolt of electricity through her. Skylar pressed her lips harder against Annabelle's, deepening the kiss with each passing second. Annabelle pulled away and looked at Skylar, her heart racing. She had thought of this moment a thousand times and she had never imagined that it would have this profound effect on her.

"Sky, I need to tell you something." Annabelle smiled sweetly, cupping Skylar's face.

"Has it got anything to do with the kiss?" Skylar asked, running her fingers through Annabelle's hair.

"Yeah, a little. I am so in love with you, Sky, and I don't care that you are sick. I want to, no; I need to be with you and I want you to promise that you won't try to stop this." Annabelle smiled.

"I can't, Anna Banana, I can't let you be with me and cause you the pain it's going to bring."Skylar stood up and leaned against the wall.

"Sky. If you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that you don't feel the same way, I will walk out of that door and you will never see me again. I know you Sky, you can't lie and if you choose to lie, I will still leave but just know that it would hurt me more than anything than what cancer could ever cause." Annabelle said, knowing that she would not be able to leave.

Skylar was quiet. She knew she had to try to protect Annabelle because she had seen what this had done to Aaron and she couldn't afford to cause Annabelle the same pain. But she couldn't deny her heart either. She was torn and she hated feeling this way. During their kiss she felt more than she had ever felt at any moment in her life, alive and at home for the first time.

"Sky? Talk to me." Annabelle pleaded.

"I can't hurt you this way." Skylar tried to make her understand.

"I already told you that you can't make decisions for me and I told you what you had to say to make me leave." Annabelle spoke slowly.

"You know I can't say that. Anna Banana, please just understand." Skylar was close to tears.

"Sky, I am not leaving here until you either tell me that you do or don't love me." Annabelle pressed her point.

"I love you, Anna Banana. When you kissed me I felt more alive and at home than I ever have, but that scares me. I don't have a lifetime to offer you and in the little time I have left I will only bring you pain. None of this is going to be easy and I don't want you to see me when I am that weak. I won't be able to deal the look you will have in your eyes when I lose my hair or puke my lungs out after chemo. You are the one person I don't want to look differently at me or treat me differently. Anna Banana, I am scared shitless, because for once I found someone and something that made life bearable and worth living. Now it has all gone to shit because the stupid cancer came back. All I want is to be the soldier in your eyes, like I always was, but I won't be after you see me cry, puke, lose my hair and grow weaker by the day." Annabelle wrapped her arms around Skylar's neck, holding the crying woman.

"Sky, you will forever be the soldier in my eyes. We are going to fight this and I will be there every step of the way. You are the strongest person I know and I love you. It doesn't matter that your hair will fall out or that you will grow weak, the only two things that matter to me is that you fight and that I get to love you as much as I possibly can." Annabelle spoke the words softly, soothing her friend.

"I can't... Let you do this." Skylar said pulling away, she couldn't be so selfish to let herself be happy and bring Annabelle pain.

"Right now, you can't say anything to stop me. You told me you love me, which was all I needed. So just shut up and kiss me." Annable said and pulled Skylar in for a kiss.

The last bit of fight that Skylar had left disappeared the moment Annabelle's lips touched her own. Her tense body relaxed and she melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Annabelle's waist. Annabelle clung to Skylar and that kiss as if her life depended on it, she knew that none of this was going to be easy but she also knew that it would be worth it.

Aaron opened the door and smiled when he saw Annabelle and his sister kissing. He knew that Annabelle would break through his sister's barriers and prove to her that there was something more worth fighting for in this life. A tear rolled down his cheek and he somehow he knew that it would all be okay. Tina, Aaron and Skylar's mother, came to stand next to him, wondering why she had chosen to give up her childrens' childhood to chase a career that could never bring her as much love.

Skylar felt her brother's presence and broke the kiss, she held Annabelle tightly and smiled at her brother, silently thanking him for all of the sacrifices he made to keep her alive.

*****

Life wasn't easy, but Annabelle stood by Skylar and went with her to her first session of chemo. She couldn't imagine what it was like for Skylar and it killed her to see it making Skylar so sick. Annabelle was sitting in the backseat, stroking Skylar's hair as she lay in Annabelle's lap. Aaron looked in the rearview mirror every few seconds.

They stopped in front of the house and Aaron and Annabelle helped Skylar up to her room. Skylar collapsed onto the bed, before darting up and running to the bathroom to throw up again. Annabelle was right behind her, holding her head and rubbing her back, trying to soothe the convulsions. Aaron ran downstairs and fetched a bottle of water and some yogurt.

Annabelle helped Skylar back to the bed, Aaron gave her the water and yogurt and left the room to find Jordan. Annabelle helped Skylar sit up and handed her the water. Skylar drank eagerly and closed up the bottle, settling on her side as Annabelle cuddled into her. Skylar moved as close to Annabelle as she could, taking Annabelle's hand and holding it to her chest.

"Thank you, for being there and here with me now." Skylar said, holding onto Annabelle.

"I told you I will be, sleep my angel. You will feel better when you wake up." Annabelle said and nestled her head into Skylar's back, the smell of chemo clinging to her.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Skylar asked in a weak voice.

"I will be right next to you the whole time." Annabelle said in a muffled voice and raised herself to kiss Skylar's head.

"I love you." Skylar said and closed her eyes.

"And I love you." Annabelle said and squeezed Skylar's hand.

Annabelle lay there in silence, listening to Skylar breathe and thinking about how unfair life seemed to be. Here she was with the person she knew was her soulmate, but she was dying and suffering and there was nothing Annabelle could do. Tears streamed down her cheeks. How could she be this happy, scared, hopeful and sad at the same time? She loved the woman in her arms more than anything and her biggest wish was that she could save her.

****

Skylar had slept for almost three days, only waking up to eat and pee. Every time she opened her eyes Annabelle was right there beside her, like she promised. Annabelle was thankful for the holidays, she sat at the desk in Skylar's room and worked on her project. She had asked Skylar if she could use her as the subject and Skylar had agreed. She studied and worked hard to portray the true emotional stress that went with the disease. Annabelle was honest and told the story from the day she met Skylar to how they went from day to day. She decribed her love for Skylar and the effects it had on her and the rest Skylar's family.

She sat there and watched Skylar's chest rise and fall, her face peaceful and free from the agony and pain. Annabelle wished she could make Skylar that peaceful in their daily lives, that she could make love to her and show her what she truly felt. But she couldn't, not right now, she had to wait until Skylar felt better.

"Why are you staring?" Skylar asked, smiling.

"Because you looked so peaceful and beautiful, I wanted to commit the image to memory." Annabelle said and moved toward Skylar.

"No, you are beautiful." Skylar wrapped her arms around Annabelle.

"I love you Skylar Robertson." Annabelle said and smiled down at her girlfriend.

"And I love you Annabelle Blignaut." Skyler said in turn.

Annabelle bent down to kiss Skylar but was stopped by a hand on her chest. "Let me shower and brush my teeth first."

"Hurry, I need a kiss." Annabelle said and laughed when Skylar sprinted to the bathroom.

'At least she's looking better today,' Annabelle thought and walked downstairs to make coffee.

"How is she today?" Jordan asked when Annabelle entered the kitchen.

"A lot better, it seems. She was smiling this morning, so I think the next few days will be better. We might get her out of the house for a bit today." Annabelle said with a smile.

"Oh God, that is so good to hear." Aaron said.

"Agreed, I just want to take her some coffee." Annabelle said and poured water into the mug.

"Maybe you can give her some good loving too." Jordan said with a laugh.

"Uhm." was all Annabelle managed, with a blush.

"It might make both of you less grumpy." Aaron said and passed her the milk.

Annabelle shook her head and headed back up stairs. She did want to be with Skylar intimately, so much it hurt, but she couldn't do it when Skylar was not up to yet.

"Morning, beautiful." Skylar beamed and kissed Annabelle.

"Wow, hi." Annabelle said, staring at Skylar in her underwear.

"Thanks. Can I have another one of those kisses?" Skylar asked putting the coffee on her dresser.

"As many as you want." Annabelle said and leaned in.

They kissed, their tongues dancing together and Skylar's hands roamed Annabelle's back. She lifted the hem of Annabelle's shirt and pulled it up, revealing that Annabelle had no bra on. She needed to feel Annabelle's skin against her own. Annabelle lifted her arms and allowed Skylar to remove her shirt. Her heart pounded in anticipation, she was weak in the knees and felt the wetness grow between her thighs. She pulled Skylar to the bed, Skylar making quick work of her pajama bottoms and sending them flying.

Skylar gently laid her down, allowing her to move to the middle of the bed before crawling up Annabelle's body and sucking on her neck. Nibbling on her neck and soothing with soft licks and kisses, Annabelle breathed in deeply and let out a moan. Annabelle knotted her fingers in Skylar's hair and held her close, while Skylar kissed lower. She nibbled on Annabelle's collarbone, her hand moved down and softly carresed her lover's breast, feeling the nipple harden almost painfully at her touch. Skylar left a trail of kisses down Annabelle's chest and took her lover's nipple into her mouth, sucking the soft flesh and grazing it with her teeth.

Her attention to Annabelle's breasts got her a loud moan in approval and fingers frantically running through her hair. Skylar switched breasts, giving each the same attention while continuing the slow torture on her lover's body. Annabelle gasped, still in shock of what Skylar was doing to her body with the simplest actions. She ached for release but didn't rush her lover, she knew that this was a moment to be savored. Her muscles tensed with anticipation when she felt Skylar's mouth moving lower on her body, her hips raised from the bed, desperate to find contact that would help her find the release she was seeking.

Annabelle's body was ablaze with soft nibbles and kissing on her torso, moving ever-so-slowly downward. Skylar hooked her thumbs into Annabelle's panties and started pulling them down, making sure to kiss every inch of skin that she possibly could. She kissed down one leg and then back up as she tossed Annabelle's panties away. Kissing over Annabelle's pussy lips she felt her lover's hips jerk into the air and a low growl escape her lips. Skylar hooked her arms around Annabelle's thighs and held her still.

Her tongue traveled the length of Annabelle's slit and when it brushed over Annabelle's clit her breathing hitched and her muscles tensed. Skylar repeated the motion and Annabelle started grinding her hips into Skylar's face, desperate maintain contact. Skylar took the sensitive nub into her mouth and pushed two fingers inside of her lover. Annabelle let out a loud moan and felt the orgasm start to build inside her, like the swell of a wave picking up speed and waiting to crash ashore.

Skylar picked up the pace of her fingers, pumping them hard in and out of her lover, while her tongue used the same rhythm on her clit. She curved her fingers upward and brushed over Annabelle's g-spot, sending Annabelle over the edge.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK." was all Annabelle managed to shout.

Skylar slowed down to prolong her lover's orgasm. When Annabelle's hips stopped moving Skylar licked up every drop of cream she could get.

"Sensitive." Annabelle breathed.

Skylar crawled up her lover's body and kissed her, Annabelle tasted herself for the first time and just knew she had to taste Skylar. She turned Skylar onto her back and ripped her underwear off and immediately repeated what Skylar had done to her. She was immediately addicted to Skylar's taste and didn't let up until she sent Skylar screaming over the edge, twice. Skylar pulled her lover up and kissed her, their mingled juices an even better taste than either expected.

"You are going to be the death of me." Skylar breathed when Annabelle settled her head on her shoulder.

"I think I am addicted to you. I just want more." Annabelle and started to move.

"Not now, please. I need rest." Skylar begged, holding her lover tight.

Annabelle laughed and snuggled onto Skylar's chest, closing and falling asleep almost instantly. Skylar kissed the top of Annabelle's head, falling into her own slumber.

*****

"Sky, I want to play you a song." Annabelle said.

They had been together for almost a year and by this time Skylar had lost all of her hair and she was growing weaker by the day. Annabelle spent most of her time with Skylar, who was cooped up in bed for the most part of her days. Annabelle remembered this day to be one of Skylar's last few days and when she heard the song by one of the South African artists that dealt with cancer she had to play it for Skylar. She picked up her guitar and sat on the edge of the bed next to Skylar.

She strummed her guitar and started singing, tears rolling down her cheeks, as she softly sang the words that had become her life.

'She asks are you awake? He says yes, so she asks what would you do with a million, one million words? I will write poetry about your mouth and body. I will then make songs and sing it until you fall asleep. Tonight I will kiss you in a new language created just for us. Oh, with one million words.'

Skylar was crying hard by this time, her heart ached and she knew that her time was almost up. To see what it did to Annabelle hurt her even more and to hear these words caused her deeper pain.

'I write your name on the trunk of a tree, where now reside. I wish I could ask you once more, hey what are we doing today?'

Annabelle tried to stay strong but she couldn't. She hated the thought that Skylar would soon be away from her and she would never see her again. Annabelle completed the song and put the guitar down, Skylar wrapped her arms around Annabelle and they cried together, holding on to each other for dear life.

****

Skylar had made dinner and asked Aaron for the night alone with Annabelle. Somehow she knew that the end was close and she wanted to give Annabelle something good to remember her by. When Annabelle came home she smiled her biggest smile when she saw the table set with candles, roses and wine. Their favorite songs were playing softly in the background and Skylar came from the kitchen, dressed in the same clothes as their first night together when they watched the sun rise.

"Wow, this looks and smells amazing." Annabelle said and kissed her lover deeply.

"I wanted to remind you how much you mean to me." Skylar said, her arms wrapped around Annabelle's waist.

"And you to me my baby." Annabelle responded.

Skylar pulled Annabelle's chair out for her and took her seat across from Annabelle. She poured wine and they talked for a while, shared the meal and talked well into the night. They laughed about the funny times they shared and reminisced about good times.

"The first moment I fell in love you was that day we sat on the mountain and watched the sun set. My entire body tingled when I wrapped my arms around you and stared out at the scenery." Skylar admitted.

"I fell for you that night we waited for the sun to rise, cuddled up under that blanket with you. It was magical." Annabelle smiled at the memory.

Skylar walked around the table and kissed her lover deeply. She took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. They kissed deeply and slowly removed each other's clothes. Each savoring the seconds and small actions that it took to undress each other. Once their clothes were removed they moved to the bed and fell into their familiar pattern of love making.

Skylar took her time making love to the familiar body beneath her, she kissed every inch of skin she could find and spend a long time sucking, biting and kissing Annabelle's nipples. Annabelle came from the extensive attention that Skylar gave her breasts and once she came down from her high she felt Skylar making love to the rest of her body. Skylar sucked Annabelle's pussy lips into her mouth, savoring the taste of her lover as she ran her tongue inbetween her folds. Annabelle whimpered when she felt Skylar's tongue enter her, pumping in and out of her with a desire she had not felt in a long time. Annabelle came again, screaming out her ecstasy to the world. Skylar didn't let up until they both collapsed from exhaustion.

Cuddling up afterward, Annabele's head rested her head on Skylar's shoulder and Skylar felt tear drop fall onto her skin.

"What's wrong, baby?" Skylar asked, concern very audible in her voice.

"This is it, the end?" Annabelle asked in a mournful voice.

"No, I just wanted to make you feel special, my angel." Skylar lied to reassure her lover and partner.

Annabelle knew it was the end, but this was not how she wanted to spend her last moments with Skylar, instead she held her tight and tried best to bathe in the warmth of her lover's embrace. Yet as Annabelle fell asleep, Skylar lay there and watched her. Tears were close but she kept them at bay. She lay there for hours and when she saw the first rays of the sun she silently got out of bed. She put some clothes on and walked to the balcony. Annabelle woke up shortly afterward and sat behind Skylar, wrapping her arms around her lover. They sat like that for a moment, Annabelle felt Skylar's head rest against her shoulder and within moments her breathing stopped.