All Comments on 'One Night 02 - Twelve to Two'

Loved it, can't wait to see what happens next. Please continue soon.

Very good start, the kind of mind control that is seldom a theme. Please keep this going. Now, one bit of critique...thrusted is not a word, the past tense of thrust is thrust. Like the past tense of ground is not grinded but ground. Sorry to be a grammer Nazi, had a major in English.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

I will be writing as much as possible in the coming days.

This summer I have only two goals: growing my business and writing stories for you guys - so I'm going to do my best to write and produce as much as I can!

More more more please

Thank you for making use of your English major! Haha.

Sometimes in the heat of the moment I'm just blasting full steam ahead and the words run out of my brain and through my fingers onto the page without going through my internal grammar filter.

I'm grateful for the catch! And I'm so glad you're enjoying the uniqueness of the story. My hope is to share something new and fresh with you, because there are only so many times you can read the same story over and over with different masks before you start to die a little inside.

Hi

nice part two, its nice how he's growing in power, and at the same time being a normal horny man. hope to reead more of tihs story.

thanks for the shear.

I think this is really well written, and the progression from your earlier works up through this one shows you've really put in the practice to become better at designing characters and dialogue. I've always been a big fan of the "slowly build a harem" genre, but it's hard to find stories that do it well.

Mostly the different women are cookiecutter and their "personalities" are pasted on, usually to be stripped away entirely within a few paragraphs. I appreciate that the women all have their own thoughts and traits which they continue to display after they become his. I like the idea of women who only change in their allegiance and sexual preferences, while keeping all their own amazing qualities. "Bimboization" is the most overused mind control trope.

Finally, I appreciate a character that is neither a goody two-shoes nor a complete asshole. A guy out for himself who happily snaps up women as is convenient, yet doesn't lose a sense of humanity. Too many stories craft absolute monsters and still expect us to sympathize with them. There's a point at which it's just too much and is a big turn off. I think this guy is likable enough, he's not an evil mastermind with no other life, and the circumstances sort of excuse him a bit too. Yet he's not too worried about having a harem of obedient women and enjoys taking advantage. That's a balance many writers seem to have trouble with. So kudos!

I have been waiting for the next chapter. Keep it up please.

Another great series on the bloom.

Waiting on NEXT lol.

I started reading some of your other writing and although you're creative, it just didn't grab me like this story does.

The first chapter sets the tone with a decent enough guy who makes a mistake.... Creating a situation where, like it or not, he's going to have to use his "gift" if he wants to make it out alive.

Pretty cool!

5 stars and please continue.

This is definitely not like most mind control stories. The life and death stakes of the story and how Jason uses his abilities to get out of bad situations, turning them to his advantage is what makes this a story worthy of addiction to. In other words it keeps us guessing with how you will get Jason and his growing harem to Maria's father, so Jason can become the son-in-law and not just another dead boyfriend other a homicidal mob boss' daughter.

It is apparent that the happy ending result is that Jason and Maria marry, with Chiara acting as the couple's head of security; that is unless if Chiara dies in the succeeding chapters. My guess is many of the women added to the harem will either be assassins or professional women (like a female doctor) who aid them during their night on the run. The interesting part will be in the telling of the story, not the general results which assuming a happy ending is telegraphed.

I very much enjoyed this episode. Mas, por favor.

Good Stuff

By far !!

Suspense, action and hot sex. Keep it up and hurry

Really great stories, im enjoying the deeper action/plot!

Not just a super-hot erotic story (like seriously holy crap some of the best I’ve found), but also an exciting and thrilling plot line. I can’t wait for more sexy scenes, but I also just can’t wait to see what happens next in the story! Keep it up!

athours on literotica. really looking forward to the next one of these and the next master of trueth. also hopeing 4 another the shards favor

I really liked it

Yes. I hated to see this end. You will make many people happy by continuing the saga.

Where is my super suit!!?? Seriously though.... This is so effing good

Please continue this amazing story, it's truly excellent!

You have to keep all your story's going they could do with being longer but I will make do with more chapters keep them cumming;-)

Please write a sequel!

Please keep going! Very much so enjoy all your stories!

This is a fabulous story! It's begging for more.

Please continue!!!

Certainly want to know how this turns out.

Hey JC.... thanks for some fun stories. Don't know if this one was supposed to continue or not, but it'd be fun to see what 2 a.m. - 4 a.m. might look like! and even 4 a.m. - 6 a.m.! :-)

keep up the good work.

Most certainly worthy of following this arc to fruition. R

Great story can't wait for 2 to 4.

This is much the best of your stories because it has a strong plot line. Don't know how or whether you have a conclusion

high quality work, just like the rest of your stories. an action packed story is a great change of pace!

These 2 parts have been outstanding - among your very best.

Please keep going.

Please.

Great story - love the plot line - more please!

I really hope you continue this story. I loved the TRANCE story and this is really getting me interested

Excellent, please continue.

This is a great story, thank :)

What happens next?

Please more!

This story is very enjoyable and tantalizing. I hope you continue writing about Jason and his adventures in mind control. I am in the process of reading your other stories and finding them fascinating also. Your stories are also well edited -- thanks for that. :-)

John Sturm

This is great, keep it going

I love your mind control stories and I know this may be a matter of preference but I would enjoy it if you would consider introducing butt play and anal sex into the mix. It definitely gels with the submission aspect of your mind control stories.

And so the tables start to turn!

Great story, definitely looking to read more. Not just a self centered mind controller but a person trying to help others too. Especially enjoyed his self exploration i.e. Carnal Jason versus Logical Jason about what was going on. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

I just read the story. After 4yrs, I'm sorry that there's no follow up story. I enjoyed what you wrote. FYI, my first time making a comment.

Thanks again

Any chance you finish this?

WTF, why do you always do this , you never finish your fucking stories. It was a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Story. NOW you’re get fucking ⭐️

Well fuck me, I shouldn’t be surprised. Another one of your incomplete stories..what a shame it was shaping up to be a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ story too.

Keep it going! Great story so far.

Please keep going with this story. Its excellent!

Please continue this series !!!!

It was good, but I desperately need aconclusion