All Comments on 'One Night in Dubai'

Came for erotica; stayed on for the story; hope you continue with it.

I sort of wish that this wasn't part of the One Night In project because I want to follow their sailing adventure. Thank you so much.

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't currently have plans to continue this story, but I've said that before and ended up writing sequels after all. So, who knows? Maybe I will come up with another adventure for Jaleh and Rowan someday.

What a roller coaster ride. And fascinating too. This has been sitting on my read later list for a couple days while I waited for a clear window. I hate to suggest it, but I would love to see this story extended. It seems their adventure has just begun. What a portrait of Dubai, from luxury to slum. And what a dynamic and interesting couple are Rowan and Jaleh. I hope their story continues.

I fell in love with “Springer Mountain Bride” and then read “Dancing Naked in the Rain” out of order, and still want to get to the rest of your submissions, but I must say, after reading “One Night in Dubai”, what a great stylistic range between these stories. Very enjoyable. Thank you.

But amidst all the action I'm yearning to see how the characters are feeling about each other. I know it's part of a writing event, but this has so much potential to develop to be more than just a one-shot. You absolutely nailed the spy-flick atmosphere, all we need now is more romance and sexy times.

I've always enjoyed your work, Loqui. I'm not a huge fan of Spy-thrillers, but hey, it was worth the read. Your characters were an unlikely pair and I quickly found myself cheering for them. Minor criticism... the story was long on suspense (out running bad guys mostly) but your ending seemed abrupt to me. Perhaps that was more the dynamics of the event itself, but I think it needed a bit more lead-in to the closing. All in all... good job!

Thanks for taking the time to comment johntcooksey. A "rollercoaster ride" is exactly what I was going for, so I'm glad someone had that experience. Every other comment has asked for more of this story too. No promises, but the title "One Night in Mumbai" has sort of planted itself in my brain. BUT this story was a heavy lift - it took a lot of research to get it right. I need a break. I'm going to write something light and fluffy before I go for another ambitious project like this again.

You're not wrong, Ilfen. For a Romance story the emotion falls a little short. As you observed, this was meant to be a kind of spy-flick, not a tear-jerker. Romance isn't the perfect category for it, but it's a better fit than any of the others. I do have a seed of an idea for a sequel. I don't know when or if it will every get written, but if it does it will probably be from Jaleh's perspective.

I agree, Anonymous Commenter. The ending is kind of abrupt. I wrote to the point where Rowan tells Muhamet it's in Muhamet's best interest to help them escape, and then I kept writing. But I got all bogged down in tedious beuracracy and the mechanics of stealing a sailboat and leaving the country illegally. My ending was dragging. This was supposed to be a fast paced story and the end was anything but. I realized that the story was essentially over at point where Muhamet had no choice but to help, and all I was doing after that was book keeping. So I backed it up to that point and I ended it there. I chose abrupt over tedious.

If I had more time, maybe I could have split the difference, but events have deadlines. Ah well.

Thanks for reading, Anon. And thanks for taking the time to comment. I truly appreciate the time you put in to consider my story.

I felt the need to come back and comment after giving you my five stars earlier. Once you set the hook about the middle of page two, I was in can't-stop-reading mode right to the end. I haven't found many stories here that do that for me. Really a great ride. I do appreciate the work that had to go into getting the details of place right, and it succeeded--I felt like I was there. Outstanding!

Thanks for taking the time to comment, rebel_code. Comments like yours make all of the research and the re-writing worth the effort.

Great little thriller, thoroughly enjoyed what turned out to be a long night in Dubai.

Thanks, Spencer fiction. And I am totally stealing that word.

Simply amazing. This is real literature and good one at that. I really wish for a second part.

That was wonderfully done. I ignored a whole bunch of things I should have done instead of reading this; it was indeed unputdownable. I liked the use of something in the dialogue -- that's exactly what it's like when trying to decipher insufficiently. I, too, would be glad to hear more of their story.

You know, this is really almost publishable "publishable". Amazing stuff!

Another great story! Your work is always rich and detailed, worth continually looking forward to. Keep up the great writing.

Thank you for this thrilling adventure that feels like the start of a brilliant series

Outstanding. A completely different story and I wanted more. Yes the ending was quite short and abrupt but I note your comments. All I can say is that it deserves a sequel because their adventures cannot be over as getting to India will be difficult enough and once there their problems can multiply.