All Comments on 'One Night Stand'

IF he was a one night stand, why the fuck would she tell him "I love you Josh, make love to me."If this was an ongoing relationship, "Fuck Me!" is pretty damn direct, in the heat of the moment, who wants to have a fucking conversation?

If Josh can't handle it, he isn't worth the effort it took to read this, let alone write it.

There is more to the story than just the part above. You can't just literally think of "one night stand" as having sex with a stranger. And this is a STORY. Whether it be true or fiction you take the story as is. You angry bitch.

I liked this short piece of erotica. Shame the voting was turned off as I would rate this quite highly.

Some good writing here, I liked the similes used.

Thank you.

Even allowing for different tastes, I have trouble following why this is posted. (Biting, to the point of drawing blood?!! That's not sexy, and it's not normal.) And the ending is hardly a gratifying one for the reader.

[Yes, I got the title. But still, the story seems incomplete.]

Maybe better, if it were to be the opening to a longer story.

I'd like to explain a few things just to appease the critics. This was a true story that occured between a friend of mine and me a while back. I don't consider a one-night-stand to be strictly sex with a stranger, but more of sex that never develops into any sort of further sexual relationship.

I'd known the boy for quite some time, and had (at that point in my life) fallen in love with him somewhere along the way. He had to move to Chicago, and we got carried away our last night hanging out together. It wasn't the usual sort of one night stand, but "I Fucked My Best Friend Once and Still Feel Super Awful About It Because I Loved Him" is a pretty horrible story title if you ask me.

I was flipping through old journals and decided to turn it into a more eloquent story. I kept it short because, frankly, half-way through I'd realised I didn't much feel like writing it or thinking about the boy at all. I know that's a shitty way to function as a writer, and I probably should have scrapped it, but I figured someone would get a slight bit of entertainment from it. A few people really enjoyed it; some didn't. I'm perfectly fine with that and appreciate your honesty. I'm just happy to know that someone hated something I wrote so much that it just ruined their day and they had to have a little bitch fit. To me, it's a sign that I'm at least a memorable writer, if not a constantly loved one.

As for the blood not being sexy... shit happens, man. In my journal entry, I scribbled this big melodrama about how he'd probably LITERALLY scarred me for life, so I figured that, even if it wasn't the most erotic thing, it was worth putting in. Maybe it turned on some lonely guy out there who jacks off to Anne Rice novels.

I write literature that, on occasion, happens to be erotic. I do NOT, however, do things for the sake of eroticism that, on occasion, happen to be literary. There's a difference, my dears.

When u decide to put up your writings before other people you must be ready to take the roses along the thorns. you win some u loose some.If you can't take criticism in your stride you'd better stop writing here.readers have a right to express their opinions.now whether that reader is an angry bitch or howling dog,shouldn't matter.with all my efforts to encourage you to write better

I strongly encourage ANYONE who has something to say at length about style and plot to send me an e-mail. KinkCabaret@aol.com

KC,

I was young, no excuse, but I was young. What if .. I knew how much she Loved me, now. I should still find her and tell her I was wrong and she did not deserve me leaving. I'm so sorry. 38 years of wondering if she' OK. There I said it...

KC, your story made perfect sense to me. Great short read.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Should be compulsory reading for prospective contributors.

Good prose. Shame, no voting process.

Great writing.

With this story Im lost... all I can say is what a waste of my time.....

Not really a story, just an intro.

Not really "erotic". Maybe fantasy on her part. From his, she could simply be a cum dump.

Too many metaphors/similes and too much effort on them, many not making much sense.

" dangerous and graceful as a street cat's. I stared at the ceiling, enjoying the fallout" What "fallout"?

And the last street cat I encountered rolled over on its back for me to scratch its stomach.

"The heat that had wound itself tight in my stomach exploded with brilliance, combusted and spread like liquid nitrogen through my veins" Heat doesn't explode or combust. It is the product of explosion and combustion.

And it's hot. Liquid nitrogen is really cold. And isn't particularly known for "spreading".

Absinthe eyes however makes a good description, although something a little less esoteric might have been better, unless danger and illegality was something you were also trying to convey about the man.

But if that is the case, again, then it appears then that the character simply likes bad boys and again this would make the work not erotic, but her being used, as bad boys do, as a cum dump.

It all ties together....Happy writing.

PS, if you REALLY want input, voting won't kill you.

It isn't personal. It is just an amalgamation of the collective opinion.

In the end, it lets you track and evaluate the reception of your creative progress, if that is what you want,